going on inside her mind now? he wondered. Sara had always been so transparent to him. He never had to worry about what she was thinking. She always told him. Whenever she had a problem or a worry he knew about it immediately. And as soon as she'd blurted out whatever was on her mind she demanded that he fix it.
Nathan smiled to himself. And damn if he didn't always fix it, too, he thought.
'I would like to rest now, Nathan,' she whispered, turning his thoughts back to her.
'You will tell me what's bothering you first,' he ordered.
She burst into loud tears.
'Are you still not crying?' he asked in exasperation.
She nodded against his chest. 'Jade never cries.'
'What did you say?'
She wouldn't repeat herself. She tried to move away from him then, but Nathan wouldn't let her. He was more forceful, more determined. He held her secure with one arm and pushed her chin up. His touch was gentle when he brushed the hair away from her face.
When he saw the dark swelling on her cheek his expression turned murderous. 'I should have killed the bastard,' he whispered.
'I'm a coward.'
She blurted out that confession, then nodded vehemently when he looked incredulous. 'It's true, Nathan. I didn't realize it until today, but now I know the truth about myself. I'm not at all like Jade. The men are right. I don't measure up.'
He was so surprised by her fervent speech that he didn't realize he'd let go of her until she'd turned and hurried over to the bed. She sat down on the side and stared at her lap.
'I'm going to have my nap now,' she whispered again.
He was never going to understand her. Nathan shook his head and tried not to smile. It would injure his wife's feelings if she thought he was mocking her. Sara was pulling her hair over the right side of her face. It was obvious she was embarrassed about the bruise. 'I'm not just a coward, Nathan. I'm an ugly one. Jade has green eyes, doesn't she? The men say her hair is as red as fire. Jimbo said she's beautiful.'
'Why the hell are we talking about my sister?' Nathan asked. He regretted his gruff tone of voice immediately. He wanted to ease Sara's distress, not increase it. In a much softer voice he said, 'You aren't a coward.'
She looked up at him so that he could see her frown. 'Then why are my hands shaking, and why do I feel like I'm going to be sick? I'm so afraid right now, and all I can think about is what could have happened to you.'
'What could have happened to me?' He was stunned by her admission, humbled. 'Sara, you were also at risk.'
She acted as though she hadn't heard him. 'They could have killed you.'
'They didn't.'
She started crying again. He let out a sigh. This was going to take time, he decided. Sara needed more than just a quick denial. She needed him to touch her.
And he needed to touch her as well. Nathan stripped out of all his clothes but his pants. He'd unbuttoned them and was about to pull them off, but then he decided he didn't want Sara to know what his intent was just yet. It would only turn her attention, and he wanted to address the problem first.
Sara stood up when Nathan sat down. She watched him get comfortable. He leaned against the wood behind the pillows. One leg was stretched out, the other bent at the knee. He pulled her in front of him, then settled her between his legs. Her back rested against his chest, and with prodding her head fell back against his shoulder. Nathan's arm was around her waist. She wiggled her backside against him until she was comfortable. The movement made him grit his teeth. His wife still didn't have any idea how provocative she could be. She didn't realize how quickly she could make him want her.
'Now you don't have to hide your face from me,' he whispered. He gently brushed her hair away from the side of her face, leaned down, and kissed the side of her neck. Sara closed her eyes and tilted her head just a little to give him better access.
'Nathan? Did you see how quickly that man turned on me? If the pistol hadn't discharged, I couldn't have defended myself. I don't have the strength. I'm puny.'
'You don't have to have strength to defend yourself,' he replied.
That remark made absolutely no sense to her. 'I hit Duggan, but afterwards my hand stung for the longest time. It was a paltry hit, too. Yes, one must have strength if one is going to-'
'Who's Duggan?'
'The man with Uncle Henry at the tavern the first night we met,' Sara explained.
Nathan remembered. He smiled when he pictured the dainty white-gloved fist coming through the window. 'You had the element of surprise on your side, but you didn't make a proper fist.'
He took hold of her hand and showed her how. 'Don't tuck your thumb underneath your fingers. You'll get it broken if you do. Put it here, on the outside, below your knuckles. Now squeeze tight,' he ordered. 'Let the force of the blow come from here,' he added as he rubbed his finger back and forth across the tip of her knuckles. 'Put your whole body into the action.'
Sara nodded. 'If you say so, Nathan.'
'You need to know how to take care of yourself,' he muttered. 'Pay attention, Sara. I'm instructing you.'
She hadn't realized she was feeling so insecure with
Nathan until that moment. 'Don't you want to take care of me?' she asked.
His sigh parted her hair. 'There will be times when I won't be with you,' he reasoned. He was trying to be patient with her. 'Now then,' he added in a brisker tone of voice, 'where you hit is just as important as how you hit.'
'It is?'
She tried to turn around to look at him. Nathan pushed her head back on his shoulder. 'Yes, it is,' he said. 'The most vulnerable area of a man's body is his groin.'
'Nathan, you cannot believe I'd-'
He could hear the blush in her voice. He rolled his eyes heavenward in true exasperation. 'It's ridiculous for you to be embarrassed. I'm your husband, and we should be able to discuss anything with each other.'
'I don't think I could hit a man… there.'
'The hell you couldn't,' he countered. 'Damn it, Sara, you will defend yourself because I command it. I don't want anything to happen to you.'
If he hadn't sounded so irritated, she would have been pleased with his admission. Nathan hadn't sounded happy about the fact that he didn't want anything to happen to her, though. Lord, he was a complex man. He pushed and prodded her to do things she didn't know if she could do. 'And if I can't hit a man there? Cowards don't defend themselves,' she announced. 'And I've already admitted that sin to you.'
God, she sounded pitiful. Nathan tried not to laugh. 'Explain to me why you consider yourself a coward,' he ordered.
'I already did explain,' she cried out. 'My hands are still shaking, and every time I think about what could have happened I'm filled with terror. I can't even look at that gown without feeling sick to my stomach.'
'What gown?' he asked.
She pointed to the blue dress on the floor. 'That gown.' she whispered. 'One of those villains held it. I want you to throw it overboard,' she added. 'I'm never going to wear it again.'
'All right, Sara,' he soothed. 'I'll get rid of it. Now close your eyes, and you won't have to look at it.'
'You think I'm being foolish, don't you?'
He started to nuzzle the side of her neck. 'I think you're experiencing aftermath,' he whispered. 'It's a natural reaction, that's all. It doesn't mean you're a coward.'
She tried to concentrate on what he was saying to her, but he was making it very difficult. His tongue was teasing her ear, and his warm breath was making her warmer. The shivers were easing away, and she was beginning to feel drowsy.
'Do you ever have… aftermath?' she asked in a faint whisper.
His hand was caressing the underside of her breast. The rustling of silk against skin was arousing. 'Yes,' he
