rubbing the soft skin below her chin. 'I'm not going to move until you tell me what's bothering you, Christina. Your aunt will find us in just this position when she comes home next week.'
She knew he meant what he said. He had a stubborn look on his face. The muscle in the side of his jaw flexed. 'I've never felt the way you make me feel, Lyon. It frightened me,' she admitted.
She started crying again. Dear God, how could she ever leave him? The full truth was unbearable. Shameful. Lyon probably loved her. No, she admitted, shaking her head. He loved a princess.
'Christina, you were a virgin. Of course you were frightened,' he said. 'Next time it won't be so terrifying for you. I promise you, my sweet.'
'But there can't be a next time,' Christina wailed. She pushed against Lyon 's shoulders. He immediately shifted his weight, then rolled to his side.
'Of course there's going to be another time,' he said. 'We'll be married first, just as soon as possible.
He had to shout his question. Christina was making so much noise he knew she wouldn't have been able to hear him if he'd spoken in a normal tone of voice.
'You said you wouldn't marry me.'
Ah, so that was the reason. 'I've changed my mind,' Lyon announced. He smiled, for he understood her real anxiety now. He was also very pleased with himself. Lord, he'd just said the word marriage without blanching. Even more amazing was the fact that he really wanted to marry her.
The turnabout stunned him.
Christina struggled to sit up. She threw her hair over her shoulder when she turned to look at Lyon. She stared at him a long while and tried to form an explanation that wouldn't sound confusing. Christina finally decided to say as little as possible. 'I've changed my mind, too. I can't marry you.'
She jumped off the bed before Lyon could stop her, then hurried over to her chest to get her robe. 'At first I thought I could, because I knew you'd be able to make my stay in England so much more bearable, but that was when I thought I'd be able to leave you.'
'Damn it, Christina, if this is some kind of game you're playing, I would advise you to stop.'
'It isn't a game,' Christina protested. She tied the belt around her waist, pausing to wipe the fresh tears away from her face, then walked back over to stand at the foot of the bed. Her head was bowed. 'You want to marry Princess Christina,' she said. 'Not me.'
'You're not making any sense,' Lyon muttered. He got out of bed and walked over to stand behind her.
He hadn't the faintest idea what was going through her mind, and he told himself it didn't matter.
'You can tell me all the lies you want to, but the way you just gave yourself to me was honest enough. You want me as much as I want you.'
He was about to pull her up against him when her next comment gave him pause. 'It doesn't matter.'
The sadness in her voice tore at him. 'This isn't a game, is it? You really think you aren't going to marry me.'
'I can't.'
Her simple answer made him livid. 'The hell you can't. We're getting married, Christina, just as soon as I can make the arrangements. God's truth, if you shake your head at me one more time I'm going to beat you.'
'You needn't shout at me,' Christina said. 'It's almost dawn, Lyon. We are both too tired for this discussion.'
'Why did you ask me to marry you,' he asked, 'and then change your mind?'
'I thought I'd be able to marry you for just a little while and then-'
'Marriage is forever, Christina.'
'According to your laws, not mine,' she answered. She took a step away from him. 'I'm too upset to speak of this tonight, and I'm afraid you'll never understand anyway-'
Lyon reached out to pull her up against his chest. His hands circled her waist. 'Did you know before we made love that you weren't going to marry me?'
Christina closed her eyes against the anger in his voice. 'You had already declined my proposal,' she said. 'And yes, I knew I wouldn't marry you.'
'Then why did you give yourself to me?' he asked, sounding incredulous.
'You fought for my honor. You protected me,' she answered.
He was infuriated over her perplexed tone of voice. She acted as though he should have understood. 'Then it's damned fortunate someone else didn't-'
'No, I wouldn't have slept with any other Englishman. Our destiny is-'
'Your destiny is to become my wife, understand, Christina?' he shouted.
Christina pulled away from him, somewhat surprised he'd let her go. 'I hate England, do you understand me?' she shouted back at him. 'I couldn't survive here. The people are so strange. They run from one tiny little box to another. And there are so many of them, a person has no room to breathe. I couldn't-'
'What little boxes?' Lyon asked.
'The houses, Lyon. No one ever stays outside. They scurry like mice from one place to another. I couldn't live like that. I couldn't breathe. And I don't like the English people, either. What say you to that full truth, Lyon? Do you think me daft? Perhaps I'm as crazy as everyone here believes my mother was.'
'Why don't you like the people?' he asked. His voice had turned soft, soothing, Christina thought he really might be thinking she'd just lost her mind.
'I don't like the way they act,' she announced. 'The women take lovers after they've pledged themselves to a mate. They treat their old like discarded garbage. That is their most appalling flaw,' Christina said. 'The old should be honored, not ignored. And their children, Lyon. I hear about the little ones, but I've yet to see one. The mothers lock their children away in their schoolrooms. Don't they understand the children are the heartbeat of the family? No, Lyon, I could not survive here.'
She paused to take a deep breath, then suddenly realized Lyon didn't look very upset about her comments. 'Why aren't you angry?' she asked.
He grabbed her when she tried to step away from him again, wrapped his arms around her, and held her close to him. 'First of all, I agree with most of what you've just said. Second, all during your irate protest you kept saying'they,' not 'you.' You didn't include me with the others, and as long as it's the other English you dislike, that's quite all right with me. You told me once you thought I was different. It's why you've been drawn to me, isn't it? It doesn't really matter.' he added with a sigh. 'You and I are both English. You can't change that fact, Christina, just as you can't change the fact that you belong to me now.'
'I'm not English where it matters most, Lyon.'
'And where might that be?' Lyon asked.
'In my heart.'
He smiled. She sounded like a small child in need of comfort. She happened to pull away from him just at that moment, saw his smile, and was infuriated. 'How dare you laugh at me when I tell you what is in my heart?' she shouted.
'I dare, all right,' Lyon shouted back. 'I dare because this is the first time you've ever been completely honest with me. I dare because I'm trying to understand you, Christina,' he added, taking a menacing step toward her. 'I dare because I happen to care about you. God only knows why, but I do care.'
Christina turned her back on him. 'I'll not continue this discussion,' she announced. She picked up his pants and threw them at him. 'Get dressed and go home. I'm afraid you'll just have to walk, because I don't have a servant available to fetch your carriage for you.'
She glanced back at him, took in his startled expression. A sudden thought made her gasp. 'Your carriage isn't waiting out front, is it?'
'Oh, hell,' he muttered. He had his pants on in quick time, then strode out of the bedroom, barechested and barefooted, still muttering under his breath.
Christina ran after him. 'If anyone sees your carriage… well, I can certainly count on someone telling my aunt, can't I?'
'You don't care what the English think, remember?' Lyon shouted back. He threw the front door open, then turned to give her a good glare. 'You would have to live on the main street,' he said, sounding as if her choice of townhouses had been a deliberate provocation somehow.
