Don't you ever see yourself in the looking glass? You're beautiful, Judith.' She paused to let out a dramatic sigh. 'No one's ever taken the time to tell you that.'
'That's not true,' Judith argued. 'Millicent and Herbert gave me plenty of compliments. They let me know how much they loved me.'
'Yes,' Frances Catherine agreed. 'But the one you most needed acceptance from turned her back on you.'
'Don't start in, Frances Catherine,' Judith warned. 'Mother can't help the way she is.'
Frances Catherine snorted. 'Is Tekel still roaring drunk every night?'
Judith nodded. 'He's drinking during the day now, too,' she said.
'What do you suppose would have happened to you if you hadn't had your aunt Millicent and uncle Herbert protecting you when you were so young and vulnerable? I think about such things now that I'm expecting my own child.'
Judith didn't know what to say to those remarks. Her silence told her friend to ease up.
'Did you have difficulty leaving?' Frances Catherine asked. 'I worried because I knew you would probably be at Tekel's holding. You always have to stay with him for six months at a time, and I couldn't remember exactly when you would move back. I've been fretting over it.'
'I was with Tekel but I didn't have any trouble leaving,' Judith replied. 'Mother had already left for London and the king's court.'
'And Tekel?'
'He was sotted when I told him where I was going. I'm not certain he even remembered the next morning. Millicent and Herbert will tell him again if there's need.'
She didn't want to talk about her family any longer. There was such sadness in Frances Catherine's eyes, and Judith was determined to find out the reason.
'Are you feeling well? When is the baby due to arrive?'
'I feel fat,' Frances Catherine answered. 'And I'm guessing I have about eight or nine more weeks before it's time.'
Judith took hold of her friend's hand. 'Tell me what's wrong.'
She didn't have to explain that gentle order. Her friend understood what she was asking. 'If it weren't for Patrick, I would hate it here.'
The vehemence in Frances Catherine's voice told Judith she wasn't exaggerating her misery. 'Do you miss your father and your brothers?'
'Oh, yes,' she answered. 'All the time.'
'Then ask Patrick to go and fetch them for a nice long visitation.'
Frances Catherine shook her head. 'I can't ask for anything more,' she whispered. 'We had to go to the council to get permission for you to come here.'
With Judith's prodding, she explained all about the council's power. She told Judith how Iain had interfered when the oligarchy was getting ready to deny her request, and how frightened she'd been during the entire ordeal.
'I don't understand why you would have to go through the council to get permission,' Judith remarked. 'Even though I'm English, I still don't see the need to have their approval.'
'Most of the Maitlands have good reason to dislike the English,' Frances Catherine explained. 'They've lost family and friends in battles against the English. They hate your King John, too.'
Judith lifted her shoulders in a shrug. ' 'Tis the truth most of the barons in England dislike the king.' She resisted the urge to make the sign of the cross so she wouldn't burn in purgatory for defaming her overlord. 'He's self-serving and has made some terrible mistakes, at least that's what Uncle Herbert tells me.'
'Did you know your king was pledged to marry a Scot and then changed his mind?'
'I hadn't heard, but I'm not surprised. Frances Catherine, what did you mean when you said you couldn't ask Patrick for anything more? Why can't he fetch your father?'
'The Maitlands don't like outsiders,' she answered. 'They don't like me either.'
She sounded like a child when she blurted out that remark. Judith thought that perhaps her delicate condition was the reason for her emotional turmoil. 'I'm just as certain everyone likes you.'
'I'm not making this up in my mind,' she argued. 'The women think I'm spoiled and accustomed to having my own way.'
'How do you know that?'
'One of the midwives told me so.' Tears started down Frances Catherine's cheeks. She wiped them away with the backs of her hands. 'I'm so scared inside. I've been scared for you, too. I knew it was selfish of me to ask you to come here.'
'I gave you my word years ago that I would come,' Judith reminded her. 'I would have been hurt if you hadn't sent for me. Don't talk such nonsense.'
'But the promise I made you give me… that was before I knew I'd end up here,' she stammered out. 'These people are so… cold. I worried they might offend you.'
Judith smiled. How like her friend to be so concerned about her well-being. 'Frances Catherine, have you always felt like this or did you begin to hate it here after you found out you were expecting?'
Her friend had to consider the question a long minute. 'I was happy at first, but it soon became clear to me I didn't fit in. I feel like an outsider. I've been married for over three years now and they still don't consider me a Maitland.'
'Why not?'
'Perhaps because I was raised on the border,' she answered. 'At least that might be part of their reasoning. Patrick was supposed to marry someone else. He hadn't offered for her, but it was assumed he would. Then he met me.'
'Have you discussed your unhappiness with Patrick?'
'I did mention it a few times,' she said. 'My unhappiness was very upsetting. My husband can't make the women like me. I don't want to die here. I wish Patrick would take me back to Papa before the birthing and stay with me until it's over.'
'You aren't going to die.' Judith nearly shouted that denial. 'After all the trouble and embarrassment I've gone through, you damn well better not die.'
Frances Catherine was comforted by the anger in her friend's voice. 'Tell me about the trouble you've gone through,' she demanded, her voice filled with enthusiasm.
'I've spoken to at least fifty midwives in the past two years, and I swear I've memorized every single word they've told me. Millicent was as determined as I was, of course, and she had servants scour the countryside looking for these women. I don't know what I would have done without her assistance.'
'Millicent's a dear woman.'
'Aye, she is,' Judith agreed. 'She sends you her love, of course.'
Frances Catherine nodded. 'Tell me what you learned from all of these midwives.'
'To be completely honest with you, at first I heard so many conflicting opinions, I almost lost heart. One would tell me the chamber had to be as hot as purgatory during the laboring, and another would be vehemently in favor of just the opposite. Aye, it was frustrating, Frances Catherine. Then a miracle came about. One morning a midwife named Maude marched into the keep, acting very like she owned the place. She was old, terribly fragile- looking, with stooped shoulders and gnarled hands. She was a sight, all right. I'll confess I had immediate misgivings about her knowledge. I quickly realized how foolish that conclusion was. Frances Catherine, she is the dearest of women. She was full of insight, too, and told me that most of her opinions were based on just plain sense. She's been a midwife for ages and ages, but her methods are really quite modern. She's kept up with all the changes and says she's always interested in hearing about the newest techniques. She's a dedicated midwife. If she hadn't been so old and fragile, I would have begged her to come here with me. The journey would have been too much for her.'
'The women would never have allowed her interference,' Frances Catherine said. 'You don't understand, Judith.'
'Then help me understand. Have you spoken to the midwives here about your fears?'
'Good Lord, no,' Frances Catherine answered in a rush. 'If I told her I was frightened, she'd only make it
