a laugh.'
I thought the poor old boy was going to have a stroke there and then. But I had to stimulate him by the only reflex he had left, his vanity.
'Come out of there, sir. Come out. I'm going to thrash you. With my bare hands I'm going to thrash you.'
The rage he was in, I think he might have managed it, despite age and weight and physical condition. But I answered, 'You don't scare me, Pappy. That dummy button doesn't scare me either. Go ahead and push it.'
He looked at me, looked at the button, but still he didn't do anything. I snickered and said, 'A hoax, just as the boys said it was. Twitch, you're a pompous old faker, a stuffed shirt. Colonel Thrushbotham was right.'
That did it.
CHAPTER 10
Even as he stabbed at the button I tried to shout at him not to do it. But it was too late; I was already falling. My last thought was an agonized one that I didn't want to go through with it. I had chucked away everything and tormented almost to death a poor old man who hadn't done me any harm-and I didn't even know which way I was going. Worse, I didn't know that I could get there.
Then I hit. I don't think I fell more than four feet but I had not been ready for it. I fell like a stick, collapsed like a sack.
Then somebody was saying, 'Where the devil did you come from?'
It was a man, about forty, bald-headed but well built and lean. He was standing facing me with his fists on his hipbones. He looked competent and shrewd and his face was not unpleasant save that at the moment he seemed sore at me.
I sat up and found that I was sitting on granite gravel and pine needles. There was a woman standing by the man, a pleasant pretty woman somewhat younger than he. She was looking at me wide-eyed but not speaking.
'Where am I?' I said foolishly. I could have said, 'When am I?' but that would have sounded still more foolish, and besides, I didn't think of it. One look at them and I knew when I was not-I was sure it was not 1970. Nor was I still in 2001; in 2001 they kept that sort of thing for the beaches. So I must have gone the wrong way.
Because neither one of them wore anything but smooth coats of tan. Not even Sticktite. But they seemed to find it enough. Certainly they were not embarrassed by it.
'One thing at a time,' he objected. 'I asked you how you got here?' He glanced up. 'Your parachute didn't stick in the trees, did it? In any case, what are you doing here? This is posted private property; you're trespassing. And what are you doing in that Mardi Gras getup?'
I didn't see anything wrong with my clothes-especially in view of the way they were dressed. But I didn't answer. Other times, other customs-I could see that I was going to have trouble.
She put a hand on his arm. 'Don't, John,' she said gently. 'I think he's hurt.'
He looked at her, glanced back sharply at me. 'Are you hurt?'
I tried to stand up, managed it. 'I don't think so. A few bruises, maybe. Uh, what date is today?'
'Huh? Why, it's the first Sunday in May. The third of May, I think. Is that right, Jenny?'
'Yes, dear.'
'Look,' I said urgently, 'I got an awful knock on the head. I'm confused. What's the date? The whole date?'
'What?'
I should have kept my mouth shut until I could pick it up off something, a calendar or a paper. But I had to know right then; I couldn't stand to wait. 'What year?'
'Brother, you did get a lump. It's 1970.' I saw him staring at my clothes again.
My relief was almost more than I could stand. I'd made it, I'd made it! I wasn't too late. 'Thanks,' I said. 'Thanks an awful lot. You don't know.' He still looked as if he wanted to call out the reserves, so I added nervously, 'I'm subject to sudden attacks of amnesia. Once I lost, uh-five whole years.'
'I should think that would be upsetting,' he said slowly. 'Do you feel well enough to answer my questions?'
'Don't badger him, dear,' she said softly. 'He looks like a nice person. I think he's just made a mistake.'
'We'll see. Well?'
'I feel all right... now. But I was pretty confused for a minute there.'
'Okay. How did you get here? And why are you dressed that way?'
'To tell the truth, I'm not sure how I got here. And I certainly don't know where I am. These spells hit me suddenly. As for how I'm dressed... I guess you could call it personal eccentricity. Uh like the way you're dressed. Or not dressed.'
He glanced down at himself and grinned. 'Oh, yes, I'm quite aware that the way my wife and I are dressed... or not dressed would call for explanation under some circumstances. But we prefer to make trespassers do the explaining instead. You see, you don't belong here, dressed that way or any other, while we do-just as we are. These are the grounds of the Denver Sunshine Club.'
John and Jenny Sutton were the sort of sophisticated, unshockable, friendly people who could invite an earthquake in for tea. John obviously was not satisfied with my fishy explanations and wanted to cross-examine me, but Jenny held him back. I stuck to my story about 'dizzy spells' and said that the last I remembered was yesterday evening and that I had been in Denver, at the New Brown Palace. Finally he said, 'Well, it's quite interesting, even exciting, and I suppose somebody who's going into Boulder can drop you there and you can get a bus back into Denver.' He looked at me again. 'But if I take you back to the clubhouse, people are going to be mighty, mighty curious.'
I looked down at myself. I had been made vaguely uneasy by the fact that I was dressed and they were not-I mean I felt like the one out of order, not they. 'John... would it simplify things if I peeled off my clothes, too?' The prospect did not upset me; I had never been in one of the bare-skin camps before, seeing no point in them. But Chuck and I had spent a couple of weekends at Santa Barbara and one at Laguna Beach-at a beach skin makes sense and nothing else does.
He nodded. 'It certainly would.'
'Dear,' said Jenny, 'he could be our guest.'
'Mmm... yes. My only love, you paddle your sweet self into the grounds. Mix around and manage to let it be known that we are expecting a guest from... where had it better be, Danny?'
'Uh, from California. Los Angeles. I actually am from there.' I almost said 'Great Los Angeles' and realized that I was going to have to guard my speech. 'Movies' were no longer 'grabbies.'
'From Los Angeles. That and `Danny' is all that is necessary; we don't use last names, unless offered. So, honey, you spread the word, as if it were something everybody already knew. Then in about half an hour you have to meet us down by the gate. But come here instead. And fetch my overnight bag.'
'Why the bag, dear?'
'To conceal that masquerade costume. It's pretty conspicuous, even for anyone who is as eccentric as Danny said he is.'
I got up and went at once behind some bushes to undress, since I wouldn't have any excuse for locker-room modesty once Jenny Sutton left us. I had to do it; I couldn't peel down and reveal that I had twenty thousand dollars' worth of gold, figured at the 1970 standard of sixty dollars an ounce, wrapped around my waist. It did not
