'I know,' sighed Joe, who was the world's leading expert on the cat's poor-old-me-no-food-nor-drink-has- passed-my-lips-in-twenty-four-hours act. 'Merv not here?'
'Had to go and pick someone up. Said he'd be back.'
'Fine. Hey, I left a Guinness on the bar when I had to rush off. What happened to it?'
For answer, Hull looked at the sleeping cat.
'Shoot. Draw me another, will you, Dick?'
He went to the phone and took out the crumpled handout. Merv's home number appeared as 59232332. He riffled through the phone book to check. Here Merv's number was given as 59323223. So God was just after all. Dyslexic Dorrie hadn't just got his name wrong, she'd misread Merv's number too.
He returned to the bar, drank his stout and pondered these things to the inspirational accompaniment of Gary singing 'When I'm On I'm On'. Whitey stirred in his sleep, opened a half-hawed eye, looked at Joe, and closed it again.
Joe sighed deeply. Dick's claim that he'd got to Whitey in time was delusive. This was a very drunk cat whose delicate balance could only be disturbed at considerable risk.
'Joe, you're back. How'd it go? Did the fuzz get there in time?'
It was Merv, his expressive face combining delight at seeing Joe, concern about the emergency call, and lustful pride in the presence on his right arm of a luscious smiling woman. She was in her forties perhaps, with natural red hair tumbling over her shoulders, dark-green eyes, a broad handsome face and a solid but shapely figure. She warmed you up just looking at her.
'Yeah. In fact they were on the spot so didn't need the call, but thanks all the same. What are you drinking? And your friend ... ?'
'Joe Sixsmith, Molly McShane. Molly. Joe.'
'Joe, I've heard such a lot about you,' she said, taking his hand. Hers felt soft and warm, and so did his after a little while. Her voice was unaffectedly husky with an Irish lilt in it and her gaze caressed where it touched.
'All good, I hope,' he managed.
She gurgled as if he'd said something genuinely witty, then added, 'And I see your kidneys are in the right place as well as your heart, I'll follow your good example.'
Tint?' he said.
'Does it come in anything less?' she asked seriously. Then laughed and said, Tint'll be fine.'
He got the drinks in and took them to the table where Merv had led the woman.
'You'll join us, Joe?' she said.
'Don't want to play gooseberry,' said Joe. 'But I would like a quick word, Merv. About that hand-out-'
'Hey, Joe, business in business hours,' interrupted Merv quickly. 'It's been a long hard day. I'm here to unwind.'
'Well, OK, but it won't take a moment
'Joe, no. Bell me tomorrow, OK?'
Molly was rising.
'Don't be such a stitch, Merv. I'm off to the ladies. Man who won't talk business at night has no business talking dirty in the afternoon.'
They watched her move away.
'Nice lady,' said Joe.
'I think so. Joe, I'm sorry, but thing is, it was through her I got those hand-outs done, and I didn't want to upset her by sounding like I was pissed off about the cock-up with the number. I mean, folk don't like it when you seem to be throwing a favour back in their face, do they? Our relationship's pretty good at the moment and I'd hate to upset the balance, know what I mean?'
Joe knew exactly. Sensitive plants, women. Once they took it into their heads to be offended, no use pleading either truth or lack of malice.
Then something else about Merv's words of wisdom struck him, something so blindingly obvious it should have been drawing blood long before.
'You said the cock-up with the number not with my name! You know about it already! That was why you were so keen to run around collecting those hand-outs back in. Not because of any embarrassment to me, but because your friend's daughter had got your telephone number wrong!'
'Now, hang about, Joe. Of course I was worried about getting your name wrong, but at least any prospective client could still get a hold of you. But my phone number was all they had and it really pissed people off, trying to ring through and getting nowhere. Word soon gets round, that Merv Golightly, he's not reliable
'Word is right,' said Joe. 'And I'll be the main one spreading it from now on in. You took fifteen quid off me!'
'I offered you a refund.'
'And like a mug, I said no. I've changed my mind.'
'Hell, Joe, no way you get two bites at my cherry!'
'What on earth are you boys talking about?' asked Molly, who'd returned unobserved.
'Just a little bet we got going,' said Joe. 'How's that lovely daughter of yours, Molly?'
