me.
The doctors said that Lindsay’s recovery would take time, that she’d have to remain in the hospital for several weeks, and even after that, she shouldn’t travel unless we wanted to medevac her.
“Head injuries are unpredictable,” the doctor said. “The patient can experience a complete personality change.”
When he said that, Marion, despite her heft, put her head between her knees and started to hyperventilate.
There was no reason for me to delay my return to Massachusetts any longer. I drove back to Dover, packed my things, and went to stay with Priscilla, who had returned to Boston after Christmas. Winnie offered me a home with her for as long as I wanted it, but I was restless. I couldn’t remain the unmarried aunt in my sister’s house forever. I wasn’t sure how Priscilla’s condominium would be so much better, but I didn’t plan to stay there long. I had to make some arrangements of my own.
I found a parking spot on the street near Priscilla’s building—no easy task—and dragged one suitcase up the stairs and into her sunny second-floor apartment.
Priscilla met me at the door.
“Set the bag in the hall,” she said. “You can deal with it later.”
I put the bag down and followed her into the living room, where I sank into a deep armchair.
“What an ordeal,” she said. “Was it very bad?” Priscilla picked up her knitting and turned down the Mozart CD she had been listening to. I looked around at her impeccable apartment, everything in its place. No wonder she had never married again. Everything was exactly as she wanted it. Maybe I could get used to this kind of small and comfortable life, but I wasn’t willing to resign myself to it just yet.
I smelled coffee and went into the kitchen to get a cup and brought one back for Priscilla. Her cups were bone china, strong but delicate. I longed for a good hefty mug like the ones in Max’s chalet.
“Tell me everything,” she said again.
“Being with Max again was hard.”
“You did the right thing all those years ago.”
“How can you say that? How can you look at the reality of my life and say that? I am alone. I haven’t had sex in—I don’t know—I stopped counting, but it’s probably been about nine years. How can you say I did the right thing?”
“It’s just that you never learned about men,” she said. “That’s all it is.” She took a neat sip of her coffee.
I sipped mine. Priscilla made bad coffee. I didn’t want to fight with her. I wanted to fall into the safety of our comfortable routine. Looking at her with her chignon, her smooth and beautifully made-up face, her clothes—all from Talbots—I realized there was no going back. I wasn’t even sure I liked Priscilla anymore. Her absolute conviction that she was right never wavered. She was an ice queen, never allowing herself to be touched by anything. Maybe that’s what she had wanted for me, but now I was sure that it wasn’t what I wanted for myself.
“I’m seeing someone,” Priscilla said. She looked a little like a teenager with a secret.
“Oh?” I said. I had always feigned interest in her parade of paramours, but I wasn’t in the mood to do it now.
“I met him at a self-defense course.” She put down her cup and saucer on a side table and punched out her arm as if she were about to take down an assailant. She looked ridiculous. “He was the teacher.”
“Why are you taking a self-defense course?” I asked.
“Got my purse snatched. Walking down Charles Street. Can you imagine? This city isn’t what it once was. He’s coming over tonight. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”
Jason, Priscilla’s self-defense instructor, had a baby face. According to Priscilla, he was twenty-seven. Priscilla, however, was sixty-two, and although I didn’t want to let the age difference bother me, it did. Jason wore all black—black T-shirt, black leather jacket, black jeans. He looked a little like I had imagined Jack Reilly might look, only younger. Jason’s stomach rippled in a six-pack under his tight T-shirt and I offered him a drink, all the time wondering why a six-pack was still a priority for Priscilla, who had lost hers—if she had ever had one—eons ago.
Though Priscilla had said she had wanted me to meet the karate kid, I felt very much in the way and decided to take a walk, even though it was very cold and windy outside.
“Oh, don’t go,” Priscilla said. She was snuggled into Jason so securely, she was almost glued to him. But the good single guest never stays when she knows she is in the way, and I was “the good single guest.”
I walked around the neighborhood and past my own house. The lights were on inside and I wanted to ring the doorbell, but people didn’t just stop by anymore for a visit. It was rude not to call first, especially since I didn’t know the Goldmans well.
The light came on in the front hall, and against my better judgment, I started up the walk and rang the bell. I don’t think I’d ever rung the bell to that house before. I didn’t really know what I was doing there, but there I was.
Emma answered the door.
“Jane, how lovely of you to stop by. Come on in.” I followed her into the sitting room. There was a fire in the fireplace. It looked like she had just vacated my favorite chair, because a book and a pair of reading glasses were perched on a table beside it. “Sit, sit,” Emma said. She leaned toward me. “What can I get you?” For a moment, it didn’t occur to me that she was offering me something as simple as a drink. I had the briefest fantasy that she was offering me something more—a different life perhaps.
“What are you drinking?” I asked.
“Just tea,” she said.
“That will be fine for me too,” I said.
She went into the kitchen and I sat there waiting to be served in my own house. A new sensation. She brought back a tray with tea and some fancy chocolate cookies.
We sat for a moment and sipped our tea. I stared into the fire, but Emma was looking at me.
“Where’s Joe?” I asked.
“He had to fly back to California for a few days on business,” she said.
“You must miss him,” I said.
“I don’t mind having time to myself.” She smiled.
“Have you heard from Max?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“How is he?”
“He’s confused. You know, he’s a man, so he doesn’t share all that much with me. He feels so responsible for Lindsay’s accident.”
“He wasn’t, you know.”
“Oh, I know that and you know that, but maybe if he worries about that, he doesn’t have to worry about other things.”
“Like what?”
“Like that he might have gotten himself in too deep with Lindsay. She’s a nice girl. She’s not the kind of girl he’s been playing around with in New York. He set out just to play and he got stuck.”
“He told me he wanted to marry her,” I said.
“We’ll see about that,” Emma said. “You hurt him badly, Jane, you know. It took him a long time to get over you.”
I was surprised that she was being so candid.
“You said he didn’t share his feelings with you.”
“He was different when he was younger. He used to tell me everything,” she said.
“So you know about us,” I said. She nodded. “He blamed me.” She nodded again. “Well, he had a right to.”
She sipped her tea, then looked up at me.
