'I don't suppose we've had any contact from the Three Bears?'
'Funny you should ask that. Mummy Bear Perry called Lancaster and accused him of blackening her good name in the papers. Bizarre, eh?'
'You said it.' I forked up some poached salmon. 'Alongside all that, how's the Star Chamber going?'
'What?' She laughed. 'Ah, you mean Fisher's uncompromising, in-depth investigation, as he's quoted as saying in the Scotsman. So far, it's achieved the resignation of Des Lancaster's secretary… which she was subsequently persuaded to withdraw, after Des gave her a made-up apology from the chairman for the rudeness of his questioning… and it's prompted one of the New Bearsden site agents to adopt an aggressive attitude. That's how Sir Graeme described it. The way Gillian Harvey tells it, the guy… he's Irish: Aidan Keane… said that anyone who accused him of deceit or disloyalty would be eating all his meals with a straw for the next six weeks. Other than that, though, there's been nothing.'
'How many suspects are there?'
'As many as might have walked into Des's office and had a look at the sales list. He's a bit cavalier about things like that, is our man.
Fisher's already saying he's got to go. He may be right, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of admitting that straight away.
I'll wait till the smoke's cleared a bit, then I'll transfer him to head office, swap him with Brian Shaw, the purchasing manager, job for job.'
'You really don't like sacking people, do you?'
'No,' she admitted. 'Des is a nice man, and besides, I've met his wife.'
'You'd better not ever buy a football club, love. You'd make a lousy chairman.'
'I've got much more sense than to buy a football club, ever. I'd be as well chucking pound coins into Loch Lomond.'
'There is another way. If you bought a club, you could start by taking all the overpriced, overpaid, clapped- out foreign players that are keeping young Scots out of the game, weighing them down and chucking them in. The financial consequences might be the same, but it would be much more satisfying.'
'I'll still pass. You buy it instead.'
'I might, but I'm fully committed, buying in Gantry shares.' I'd checked with my broker on the way to the hotel; I'd acquired another fifteen and a half thousand shares in the course of the day. That had pleased me; it was a relatively small number, so it meant there hadn't been a stampede to sell.
I heard Susie wince. 'Are you sure about doing that?'
'Dead certain.' I filled her in on the result of my day's trading, and that seemed to cheer her up.
She changed the subject, slightly. 'Did you speak to Ricky?' she asked.
' Yup. He's on-side. He'll report to you as soon as he has something.
I did some detecting on that front myself, though.' I told her what Ewan had admitted, about the end of his liaison with Nat Morgan.
'She's got a new man?' Susie exclaimed, surprised. 'Now there's a thing.'
'It happens: look at us, for example.'
'Maybe, but this must be some guy.'
'Why?'
There was a long silence on the other end of the line; the longer it lasted the more puzzled I grew. Then Susie broke it, with an incredulous vengeance. 'You're an actor,' she exclaimed, 'and you ask me that? Remind me: which character are you playing in this project, Dumb or Dumber? He must be some guy because, whoever he is, she's chucked Ewan Capperauld, no less, for him.'
Twenty-Five.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that Susie's success in business is due not just to her judgement and her ability to make big financial decisions without flinching, but to the breadth of her vision. Sticking to gender stereotypes… politically incorrect, I know, but it's purely for illustrative purposes… she acts like a man, but thinks like a woman. Expressing it more acceptably, if I can, she has a degree of foresight that I certainly don't possess, nor do any other guys I know.
The only person in my life who's come close to matching it was Jan, but in my eyes, Jan's on course for canonisation, so I suppose I should stop using her as a comparison.
I broached the Natalie subject again with Ewan later in the week, over a steak sandwich in the cafeteria during a break between scenes. He was in Sir Gregor mode, and was pretty grumpy, so I didn't press it too hard, but it was pretty clear to me that his ego had been bruised by the ending of the relationship.
'You really don't know who the new guy is?'
'Not a clue,' he said, bitterly. 'She didn't say. I suppose she thought that I might have acted in current character and challenged the chap to a duel.'
'Pistols at dawn, and that?' I laughed. 'Ewan, you're a fucking brilliant actor, but can you shoot straight?'
'I won the rifle shooting cup in the cadet force at school,' he said, archly.
'And did the targets shoot back?'
He scowled at me.
'If I ever hear who he is,' I asked him, 'do you want me to tell you?'
'I wouldn't be in the slightest interested,' he replied, then a faint, out-of-character smile flickered across his face. 'Unless he happened to be extremely short-sighted, in which event I might just consider a duel' 'You'd still want to load both guns yourself, though.'
'Absolutely. No point in taking unnecessary risks.'
'In fact, on the day it might be advisable to use a stunt double.'
He beamed. 'You are getting the hang of this business.' He paused, looking at me slightly sideways. 'Tell me, Oz, are you one of nature's duel lists Would you defend your honour with your life?'
I laughed at him. 'I'm in your camp. I might defend it with yours, but I'd be a bit more careful with mine. I'll define my attitude for you, if I can. A lawyer I know once told me that at its heart, his business is about kicking the other guy in the balls as hard as you can. That's how I see it. I think of duel lists as outrageously stupid. The notion of giving someone a sporting chance, an even break, is anathema to me. In such circumstances I would use every advantage I had. Like my lawyer pal, if I was properly prepared and the chance arose, I would put the boot in in a micro-second and the other guy would not get up.'
Ewan frowned. 'Why do I get the impression that you are not speaking hypothetically here?' he murmured.
'I am, I am,' I assured him, even though he was close to the mark.
'Nonetheless, I shall make a mental note not to cross you. As for Miss Morgan,' he continued, 'she and her new paramour are no longer of any concern to me. Nor, incidentally, is Miss Rhona Waitrose.'
'Don't tell me she's chucked you too?' I spoke without thinking, although if I had thought I'd probably have said the same thing. I like Ewan, but it's my mission in life to keep his ego in check.
For a moment he became Sir Gregor again. 'As if,' he exclaimed. 'No, I found the lady a little young, and to be frank a little overeager. As it happens, I terminated that relationship.'
'And now?' I asked, for I sensed there was something else coming.
Ewan said nothing, but glanced across the cafeteria towards Louise Golding. I heard myself gasp. 'My Lizzie, you swine? My childhood sweetheart? If I had a glove on me I'd strike you across the face.
Pistols at dawn it shall be.'
'Much better than a kick in the balls,' he exclaimed, loudly enough for Louise and her hairdresser to look up from their coffee and across at our table.
I left it at that; clearly Ewan knew nothing about his successor as Nat Morgan's love interest, nor, personal pique aside, did he seem to care.
I wouldn't have cared either in his shoes; Louise Golding is built like a Greek goddess, even if her breath isn't
