Stopping, she took a calming breath. There was a quiet plea in her voice when she finally spoke again. “You don’t really want to wed me, Drew. You don’t want a true wife. Someone who could be more to you than a broodmare for your heirs…lover, companion, helpmate, confidante, friend. If you want heirs, any number of women will do.”
“I do want to marry you, Roslyn.”
“But I don’t want to marry
His mouth tightened. “I think you put far too much credence in love.”
Her voice dropped to a low murmur. “Perhaps, but without it, marriage can too easily lead to heartache. I couldn’t bear it if my husband and I battled all the time. Or if he betrayed our marriage vows the way my father betrayed my mother. Love is the only thing that will ensure a good marriage.”
Drew responded with an impatient, scoffing sound. “You are confusing love with infatuation.”
“No, I am not. Infatuation is merely a powerful physical attraction. True love comes from the heart.” Her tone softened. “Heart love is vastly different from physical love.”
“Heart love?”
She pressed her palm to her breastbone. “It comes from here, Drew. It’s a feeling of warmth, of caring. Of tenderness. Heart love is when you put someone else’s needs above your own. You are eager to be with her, and you miss her when you aren’t. Your life is brighter, more joyous because she is in it. You can’t imagine living without her.” Her gaze searched his. “Have you ever felt that way toward a woman before, Drew?”
He could say without question that he’d never felt any such thing.
When he didn’t respond, Roslyn smiled rather bleakly. “I don’t believe there is any danger of you feeling heart love for me. To engage your heart, you must first feel real emotion, not merely lust and desire.”
“Do you love Haviland?”
For a moment she stared at him, then looked away. “There is no use in my even thinking about Lord Haviland.”
Drew felt that fierce stab of jealousy again. Roslyn’s emotions were engaged for Haviland, he had little doubt. And he’d taken her away from him.
Just then Drew became aware that the carriage had slowed as it turned onto the gravel drive to Danvers Hall. Shaking off his dark reflections, he reached up to smooth a wild tendril back from her face. Roslyn jerked back quickly, as if his touch burned.
“See,” she said quietly. “That is what I mean. Our attraction is purely physical.”
He did see her point, since he’d felt the same heated shock. The spark he felt just touching Roslyn was intense enough to burn.
There were other manifestations of his attraction as well. His heart quickened whenever she was near. He was constantly aware of her. And there certainly was no question that he wanted her in his bed-more than he’d ever wanted any woman.
But those were all physical signs of his growing infatuation…
When the carriage came to a halt, Drew pushed open the door and started to climb out, but Roslyn stopped him. “Please…you needn’t escort me inside. You have done more than enough already.” Her voice was soft as she met his gaze. “I truly thank you for doing so much to help my friend Winifred, Drew. And for trying to protect my reputation by becoming betrothed to me. But I don’t believe we are suited for marriage.”
He didn’t reply as his groom lowered the step for her and helped her down. And he remained sitting there unmoving as he watched Roslyn run lightly up the front steps and into the house.
“Yer grace?” a respectful voice finally interrupted his distracted thoughts.
“Yes?”
“What are yer orders, yer grace?”
“Take me home to Mayfair,” Drew answered tersely, wanting to put Roslyn’s disturbing conversation out of his mind. But as his coach began moving again, he found himself still dwelling on what she’d said about emotions.
His were rarely engaged, Drew readily admitted. By his very nature, he was dispassionate, reserved, guarded.
But damnation, she was wrong about his feelings for her. How could she say he didn’t feel emotion in her case? For weeks now Roslyn had stirred a riot of emotions in him: amusement, desire, anger, affection, vexation, jealousy, exasperation, passion. Most especially passion.
She’d brought chaos into his well-ordered life, warmth to his cold existence-and he found that he relished it.
It was a startling discovery about himself, Drew realized. All his past liaisons had been based solely on physical pleasure. But he wanted something deeper.
He wanted real emotion in his life. Real passion with and for a woman.
Drew found himself scowling. But what of her? What did Roslyn feel for him? Certainly not love. He could arouse her body but not her emotions. He could kindle her passion now but nothing more.
As for the games of seduction they’d been playing with each other…she was right about that. Even so, there was nothing superficial or shallow about what he felt for her. He might not love her, but he was far from indifferent toward her.
One thing was clear, though. His courtship wasn’t working thus far. And if he wanted her to wed him, he would have to change his strategy entirely.
He would have to elicit far more than passion from Roslyn.
He would have to win her heart.
Chapter Fifteen
– Roslyn to Fanny
When he arrived at his London mansion, Drew unexpectedly found Eleanor waiting on his doorstep…or more specifically, sitting in her jaunty little phaeton on the street out in front. As soon as he descended from his carriage, Eleanor tossed the reins to her groom and leapt down to follow Drew up the front steps.
He knew there was no point in scolding her for entering a bachelor’s establishment without her maid in attendance. As Marcus’s irrepressible younger sister, Eleanor had run tame in his house since she was a very small girl.
“To what do I owe this honor, minx?” Drew asked, allowing her to precede him into the hall.
“I need an escort to ride with me in the park this afternoon, Drew. Marcus is still away on his wedding trip, and it seems Heath had sudden business in Hampshire, of all places.”
Drew remained silent as he led the way to his study where he usually entertained his closest friends, although he wondered at the reason for Heath’s sudden visit to Hampshire.
“So will you accompany me on a ride, Drew?” Eleanor entreated.
He narrowed his gaze on her. Eleanor was a significant heiress who boasted both remarkable beauty and a lively, engaging personality, so she had no shortage of gentlemen who could take her riding. “Why me? You have a dozen beaux who can escort you.”
“But I am weary of them all, and I want you. I sent you a message this morning, but you didn’t reply, so I came in person to persuade you. I knew you couldn’t resist a personal plea.”
Settling in a comfortable leather couch, Drew smiled suspiciously at her. “Why don’t I believe you? Coercing me into acting your escort isn’t the only reason you called, is it?”
Eleanor dimpled impishly at him as she sank into her favorite chair. “Well, actually…I wondered how your betrothal is proceeding. Everyone is quizzing me about it-indeed, all London is talking about it, although the amazement is somewhat lessened since Marcus already wed the eldest Loring sister. But I’ve had no chance to
