Lily was startled to see Fanny bite her lower lip as if holding back tears. When one spilled over, Lily sprang up from her chair and went to kneel before her friend, taking her hands in a light grasp.
“Come now, what did I say to make you cry?”
“It…was not anything you said.” Fanny dashed a hand over her welling eyes. “It is nothing, truly. I am simply feeling sorry for myself.”
“Why, Fanny? Because you are lonely?”
Pressing her trembling lips together, Fanny gave a shaky nod. “I suppose so. And because of all of the uncertainty with Mick. If I were wise, I would accept his marriage proposal.”
“You can’t possibly believe that marrying that brute would be wise.”
“At least I would have financial security as Mick’s wife.”
With effort, Lily managed to keep herself from scoffing. “You are just feeling vulnerable because you contributed all your savings to pay off the first ten thousand pounds of the gaming debt.”
“Perhaps, but I know what my fate will be when I grow old and lose my beauty. I see the streetwalkers in Covent Garden, scrounging for their livelihoods, barely able to put food in their bellies.” Fanny shuddered. “I don’t want to become like that.”
“Your circumstances are very different, Fanny. You are the toast of London.”
“For the moment, I am. But Fleur and Chantel were the reigning queens of their era, and look at them now. They are all alone. Well…Chantel has Lord Poole now, but that may not last long.” Fanny sniffed inelegantly. “When my old age comes, I will have no one. I have been spurned by all my family and former friends-except you and your sisters, of course.”
Lily felt her heart twist at the bleakness of her tone. “You know you will always have us. And you have several other close friends. Fleur and Chantel are like family to you.”
“Yes, they are my family now. But it is not the same as having a husband and children.”
“You want a husband and children?” Lily asked in surprise.
It took Fanny a moment to answer. “I believe I do, Lily. I try to convince myself that I am happy in my current life, but I want more. I wish I could be with just one man…a husband I could love. I wanted the gay life of a Cyprian, but I would give it all up for true love.”
Lily scarcely knew what to say. Fanny had always condemned love as a foolish weakness, but perhaps that was due to her profession; courtesans could rarely afford the luxury of love.
Fortunately she wasn’t required to reply just then since Fanny emitted a bitter little laugh. “Perhaps I have merely been dwelling too much about husband-hunting because of my book. The publisher is pleased with the manuscript, did I tell you?”
Lily had almost forgotten about Fanny’s efforts to supplement her income as an author. “No, you said you were finishing the final corrections,” she murmured.
“
Lily squeezed her friend’s hands. “You are being much too hard on yourself. You gave Roslyn excellent advice on how to arouse a gentleman’s ardor, and because of it, she will be marrying the Duke of Arden.”
“But I had little to do with them falling in love. Arden lost his heart to Roslyn because of her brains and her charming nature, not to mention her beauty.”
Patting Fanny’s knee, Lily rose to her feet. “Well, I imagine you are right about one thing. Your spirits are depressed just now, so you are allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity. We will have to find a way to bring you out of your melancholy. What sort of husband do you want, Fanny?”
She looked up distractedly as Lily returned to her own seat. “I beg your pardon?”
“Perhaps you should take your own advice and capture a husband. And I am willing to help if I can.”
Fanny’s eyes widened. “You, Lily?
Lily smiled. “I know. It boggles the imagination and violates every independent principle I possess. But I cannot bear to see you so despondent.” She let her expression turn serious. “What about Basil?”
Fanny’s brows drew together in a frown. “What about him?”
“You are fond of him, despite the constant rows you two have.”
“Not fond enough to
“To you, he is. But I suspect he is being deliberately vexing because he wants to gain your attention. Otherwise you would completely ignore him.”
Obviously disbelieving, Fanny shook her head. “Basil is vexing because he is Basil. He doesn’t think of me in an amorous way in the least…” Her certainty faltered. “Does he?”
“Well, I cannot claim to know his feelings, but I have seen the way he sometimes looks at you when you aren’t aware of it. I expect he would worship the ground you walk on if you gave him the slightest encouragement.”
Her jaw dropping, Fanny stared at Lily as if the possibility had never occurred to her.
“Do you have even the slightest romantic affection for him?” Lily asked. “You enjoy his company, I am certain-because of your common childhood memories if nothing else. You and Basil were fast friends when we were growing up.”
“I suppose I do enjoy his company,” Fanny said thoughtfully before her mouth quirked with irony. “At least with Basil I can be myself instead of always being on my guard. He doesn’t see me only as a prize possession or a commodity for sale.”
Lily had to agree. Fanny was sought after by half the men in London, but Basil was not bowled over by her beauty or her aura of excitement and glamour. “You can be a real person around him,” Lily stated.
“Yes,” Fanny said slowly. “With all my patrons I must be witty and flattering and artfully alluring at all times.”
“But with Basil you can say precisely what you want to say.”
Her smile was faint. “Indeed. I can be as cross and temperamental and irritable as I choose. But that is simply because he doesn’t care enough about me to be concerned with my feelings.”
“He cares,” Lily assured her.
“I believe you are mistaken. Basil couldn’t think any worse of me than he does. He profoundly disapproves of my profession, that much is certain.”
“Because he is jealous of all the men you must be with. But if you were willing to change professions…” Lily let the thought linger for a time while Fanny pondered. Then: “If you believed that Basil truly loved you, Fanny, could you possibly return his regard someday?”
Fanny thought over the question for a long moment before replying. “Astonishingly enough, I might.” But almost immediately she followed with a scoffing sound. “I must be mad to find Basil appealing. No doubt I want him simply because he doesn’t want me.”
“He
It was a perfect case of opposites attracting, Lily reflected. Fanny was gay and lively, a pleasure-seeker down to her satin dance slippers, while Basil was earnest and studious and serious most of the time. “He would cure your loneliness, at least.”
Fanny’s laugh held a sharp note of humor. “Perhaps so-because we would fight all the time. No, Lily. It would never serve. I could never marry Basil. In any event, we would starve on his income. I have very expensive tastes, you know. He is a mere law clerk who earns barely a pittance.”
“But he may have greater ambitions, Fanny, and his future prospects could be quite handsome. He could perhaps take a position as secretary to a nobleman who is involved in politics. The House of Lords is always passing laws governing the country. And to write those laws, someone must have knowledge of our legal system. Why not Basil? He could earn a significantly higher wage as a peer’s secretary than as a clerk.”
“I suppose so.” Fanny worried her lower lip. “But it wouldn’t be enough to support an expensive wife. No, a marriage with him is out of the question. It would be a disastrous mismatch.”
“I am not convinced of that,” Lily replied. “But you needn’t make up your mind this moment. You should, however, think about what Basil means to you.”
