Lily brought a trembling hand to her mouth to silence the anguished cry she wanted to utter. She had no one to blame but herself, she knew. She had refused Heath’s offer of marriage countless times, until he had finally come to accept that she meant what she said.
He had given up his pursuit of her entirely, just as he’d warned he would.
She squeezed her eyes shut as the reality of what she’d done sank in. She’d had the promise of a lifetime of happiness within her grasp, and she had thrown it all away.
How would she live without Heath? How could she bear it?
Fear tightened in her chest until her heart hurt.
“Do you know the most painful irony?” she whispered to herself. “When at last I understand my heart’s desire, it is too late.”
She had been so determined never to trust him, never to open her heart to him, that she had lost him.
A sense of desperation washing over her, Lily shook her head in denial. She couldn’t lose him! She wouldn’t let Heath go without a fight.
Lily rose abruptly to her feet, clutching the newspaper to her bosom.
“Where are you going?” Chantel exclaimed to her retreating back.
“To find Lord Claybourne,” Lily said fiercely. “He will not marry Lady Eleanor! He will only wed
Chapter Twenty
– Lily to Fanny
Desperation beset Lily all the way to Heath’s house in Bedford Square and only escalated when she arrived. A jaunty lady’s phaeton stood out in front, the dashing pair of grays held by a liveried groom.
Wondering if the phaeton belonged to Heath’s new betrothed, Lady Eleanor, Lily descended from the hack and forced herself to approach the front door, where she applied the knocker.
At least the Claybourne butler recognized her and admitted her without question. Yet the hollow ache in her stomach intensified when she was shown into a different room than before-a large masculine chamber that was obviously the master’s study.
Lady Eleanor was there, lounging on a plush leather sofa while reading, her legs curled comfortably beneath her as if she belonged there as mistress of the house.
Utterly dismayed, Lily halted on the threshold, wondering if she should turn and flee before she was noticed. But then the butler announced her, and she had no choice but to step into the room.
Heath was seated at a massive desk, writing with a quill pen. Upon Lily’s entrance, he raised his head and studied her for a long moment. She couldn’t read his expression at all; his face was completely enigmatic, just as it had been yesterday.
Lily’s heart sank even lower, if that were possible.
She barely heard Lady Eleanor say in a pleasant tone, “Miss Loring, how good it is to see you again.”
Striving futilely for composure, Lily murmured a polite reply as she curtsied. But she immediately turned her attention back to Heath. “Might I have a word with you in private, my lord?”
Still watching her, he shrugged his powerful shoulders. “Why in private? I doubt you have anything to say to me that Eleanor cannot hear.”
Lily regarded him with mingled anguish and frustration. “I saw the announcement of your betrothal,” she finally said.
To her surprise and vexation, Lady Eleanor replied for him. “I gather you have some objection to our betrothal, Miss Loring?”
“Yes…I do.” As she faced the raven-haired beauty, Lily clenched her fists, girding her loins, so to speak. “You cannot have him, Lady Eleanor. He is already spoken for.”
Eleanor’s eyebrows shot up. “You are laying claim to my dear Heath?”
The soft smile of satisfaction that touched Eleanor’s lips was utterly puzzling. “I told you so,” she said cryptically, glancing over at Heath. “You owe me that magnificent chestnut stallion of yours.”
He nodded briefly. “Whatever you wish, minx,” he replied, never taking his eyes off Lily. “Now, if you don’t mind…”
Eleanor laughed at his thinly veiled prodding. “Very well, I know when I am unwanted. I will leave you two to sort out your affairs.”
Rising, Eleanor collected her book and pelisse and reticule without another word, but as she passed Lily, her smile was warm and kind, and she murmured, “Good luck,” as if she truly meant to wish Lily well.
Bewildered, Lily turned back to Heath. He had risen to his feet but remained behind his desk. She took a step closer, her heart thudding, her knees weak, her stomach tied in knots.
“What did she mean?” Lily asked unsteadily, “when she said ‘I told you so’?”
“It is no matter. Why are you here, Lily?”
His tone was hardly encouraging. She hesitated a long moment before replying, “To put an end to your betrothal. You cannot marry Lady Eleanor.”
“Why not?”
“Because
The interval before Heath spoke seemed interminable. “Indeed. What caused your change of heart? I seem to recall asking you to marry me numerous times, and you refused every time.”
“I know.” Lily tried to swallow, even though her throat was dry as dust. “But I realized…I love you, Heath.”
His expression never changed, except that his gaze seemed to sharpen. “I don’t know that your love will be enough, Lily.”
“N-not enough?” she repeated, her voice quavering.
“I told you, I want your trust as well.”
“You have my trust, Heath.” Words crowded into her throat but weren’t even close to being adequate. “I know I was wrong to fear you. You would never deliberately hurt me.”
His expression softened the slightest degree. “How gratifying that you finally comprehend that.”
Lily nodded in agreement. “I have been a fool, I know that now. You were right. What we have is unique and rare. Something so perfect comes along once in a lifetime. I cannot throw it all away because of fear.”
“It would indeed be foolish of you.”
“Yes. Yesterday…” She hesitated several more heartbeats before she found her voice again. “Yesterday you said you loved me. Do you love me enough to give me a second chance?”
Her heart leapt at the warmth that suddenly shone in his eyes, even though he didn’t answer her directly. “I find your nervousness very endearing, sweetheart.”
Fear and hope tangled inside Lily. “I am not nervous. I am
“So this is a proposal of marriage?” he asked as he moved out from behind the desk and came to stand before her.
“Yes.”
Heath pursed his lips thoughtfully. “So say the words, Lily. I have done my fair share of proposing. I believe it is your turn.”
There was tenderness in his eyes, along with a faint hint of amusement. He was enjoying her repentance, Lily realized with a stab of exasperation. Yet he deserved to hear her abject apologies. “Do you want me to get down on bended knee as well?”
“No, a simple proposal will do.”
“Will you
