“I just want you to know it’s okay.” He tucked a strand of tear-wet hair behind my ear.
“She said you were okay with it,” I admitted in a small voice, still not quite believing him.
“I am.” He nodded, turning my chin so he could meet my wandering eyes. “I really am.”
It was hard to believe, but she said it and he said it, and what other choice did I have? “Okay. I believe you.”
“Good.” He looked satisfied. “Now, when you move in with us…”
I startled. “What?”
“Trust me on this.” He grinned and I nearly melted into his lap. His smile was infectious. “You’re going to come home with me now. And when Carrie gets back, I’m going to suggest you stay. And she’s going to agree.”
“No, wait, I…” I protested, even tried to get out of his lap, but he held me firm, his arms wrapped tightly around my hips.
“Yes,” he insisted.
“But Doc…” I shook my head.
“No buts.” He put a finger to my lips, silencing me. “I just want you to know that you’re more than welcome. No strings attached. You make Carrie happy, and that makes me happy. Okay?”
What else was there? “Okay.”
“Good.” He slapped my hip playfully, giving me a nudge. “Now let’s go.”
I stood, looking down at him, perplexed. “Where are we going?”
“If I let you stay here, Carrie will string me up by my giblets, and I’d rather keep those intact, thank you very much.” He winked and stood, waving me onward. “Now get your coat.”
* * * *
Doc had been right on. Carrie was furious with Mason and clucked over me and when Doc suggested I stay, she picked up on the idea like it had been her own, insisting. Doc grinned, shrugging when I looked at him, like he was saying, “I told you so.” I slept on their sofa that night.
And I could hear them through the wall. What did they make these apartments out of anyway, I thought. Balsa wood? I hugged a pillow over my head and buried myself under the comforter Carrie had covered me with, trying to block out the sound, but it was no use.
I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling in the dark. There was a full moon and the blinds were open a little, making shadow slats. I turned over and tried again to sleep. It wasn't an easy task, considering I couldn’t stop thinking about the time I’d spent in the very bed Doc and Carrie were now having sex in.
I thought it wouldn't matter, knowing she was married and with him. And at first, I thought it would probably be just one night anyway, two drunk college girls doing a little experimenting. Neither of those things turned out to be true. It did matter, and it wasn't just one night. I couldn't stop seeing her, wanting to be with her, touch her. And Doc assured me he was okay with all of it, but how could that be true? And what did he think of me?
I sighed and sat up, hearing the sound of Carrie having her second orgasm of the night. It was her fourth in two days, at least as far as I knew. I'd made her come twice yesterday-once in the shower on my knees and another time in the bedroom, sitting on my face. The memory of her over me, spreading her pussy with her fingers, made me feel weak, like I couldn't possibly stand up. But I did anyway, making my way over to their bedroom door in the moonlight. It was closed and I hesitated, hearing the rhythmic sound of the headboard. They weren't done.
“Oh fuck, baby, you feel so good!” Doc's voice. I flushed at his words, closing my eyes, picturing them. Was she on top? Was he? Maybe he was behind her, doggie style. She liked that. She told me so. “Easy clit access,” she explained. She liked being licked that way too, hips up, breasts pressed into the mattress.
“Harder!” she gasped. “Give me that cock!”
I wanted to see and my hand clutched the doorknob but I didn’t turn it. I could hear them, the hot pant of their breath, the slick slap of their bodies together.
“Don't you wish it was Dani's pussy, baby?” Carrie purred and I heard him groan.
“Do you want to fuck her while she licks me?”
“Oh hell yes,” he growled. The pounding of the headboard sped up. He was really fucking her now. I blinked at their words. Carrie had hinted at a threesome and had told me they'd done it before, but I had no idea that she and Doc had actually discussed having one with me.
“She's got such a sweet pussy for you.” Carrie went on with the fantasy. “And her ass…oh god, it's so tight. She's never had a cock in her ass.”
He gave a strangled, animalistic cry. “Would you let me fuck her ass?”
“Yes,” she promised. “And I think she'd let you too. I think she wants it.”
I swallowed, pressing my ear against the door, wondering if what she said was true. Would I let him? Being with Carrie didn't feel like cheating on Mason-although how I could imagine he'd been faithful to me and our marriage for the past year and a half was beyond me. I didn't really believe it. But for some reason, I’d felt obligated to stay faithful, even if he wasn't here, even if he hated me. And for a long time, it had been easy. But Carrie had changed all that. Now I wasn't only unfaithful, I was falling for her. And jealous of her husband. What was wrong with me?
He had been gone, but now he was really gone in a way he hadn’t ever been before. It was out in the open, a stated thing. The pink elephant had been unveiled.
“Oh wait, wait,” Doc moaned, but I could tell he was going to come. All guys got that sound in their throat, deep and guttural, at the point of no return.
“Come in her hot little ass,” Carrie said hoarsely. “Do it! Now!”
It sounded to me like he did as she asked because the headboard hit the wall hard, once, and he grunted several times, low and loud, the sound of his climax resonating somewhere deep in my lower belly.
“Oh god.” Doc panted. “That's too fucking hot. Do you really think she's going to?”
“I think she will,” Carrie mused. “Right now it's just us girls, but I think she'll come around. Besides, who wouldn't want you?”
He chuckled. “You have a point.”
I heard someone get up and then the sound of water running. I thought about it, still breathless from listening to them having sex. What would it be like, to be with both of them? It had been so long since I had been with a man other than Mason. Would I be able to put him out of my head, to keep myself from comparing them? Being with Carrie was different. There was no comparison and it was all about the pleasure.
I pressed my hand against the wall as if I could touch them. There was something about Carrie. Maybe I’d unconsciously known that she had experienced a pain similar to mine. Or maybe it was my own sexual reawakening that had catapulted me into this position and she was just a catalyst. Being with Carrie had stirred something in me, but I instinctively know that being with the Baumgartners, Doc and Carrie both together, would color in a world I’d been living in black and white.
I didn’t know if I could go back to living in a world filled with color, a place of infinite beauty but ferocious pain. Was it really worth the risk?
Chapter Five
“I was too superstitious to buy anything the first time.” Carrie opened the bedroom door-the second one, the one you had to walk through their bedroom to reach. “And after that, well. I guess I didn’t see the point.”
The room was empty, just as she’d said it was-no crib or wall hangings. It wasn’t painted pink or blue. And it was musty from being closed up and unused for so long. There weren’t even curtains on the windows.
“I’ll have to get Doc to put up some blinds.” She frowned at the uncovered window.
“I have some.” They were still in my closet, waiting for Mason to take down our white sheet-curtain. “I never put them up at our place. Are you sure about this?”
Carrie took my hand and squeezed. “I don’t want you to go back there.”
