before heading to the bathroom. I heard her lock the door before she closed it. Doc rolled to his back with a shuddering breath, but he welcomed me when I snuggled against his side.
“Speaking of Christmas gifts…” I ran my fingernail over the dark line of hair that trailed from his navel downward. “I’ve decided.”
“Hm?” He didn’t open his eyes. He was still far away.
“I’m going to have your baby.”
His eyes flew open. “Dani…”
“It will be the best Christmas present we can give her.” I knew it was true and so did he. I saw it in his eyes, his longing and his fear. “Please. Let’s tell her when we get home.”
He was quiet, his hand moving through my hair in the silence and I just waited.
Finally, he sighed. “Okay.” He kissed the top of my head and hugged my hip with one hand. “I can’t say no to you.”
“Ditto.” My tracing fingernail scratched lightly over his balls, making him groan.
“I noticed.” His finger slipped between the still slick crack of my ass. “Let’s do that again while my wife’s in the shower.”
“Doc…” I protested but his finger slipped in easily.
“I thought you couldn’t say no…” he teased, starting to move it in and out of me.
I groaned. “Okay, yes. Yes.”
“Was that a yes?” He rolled me onto my belly, slipping another finger in.
“Oh god yes.”
Thank goodness Carrie took long baths.
* * * *
I felt like a different person sitting across from Mason at Sweetwater. So much had changed. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the last time we would be together or see each other. It seemed impossible, but with him moving home and me-
hopefully-going to Italy, it was actually quite likely.
“I got my stuff out while you were…gone.” Mason stared moodily at his Coke. He didn’t like talking about me living with the Baumgartners and had been really pissed off when I told him I was going with them on vacation in Key West. He hadn’t even asked me if I’d had a good time, not that I’d really expected him to.
My heart thudded in my chest. “You didn’t touch Isabella’s room, did you?”
“No, Dani.” He shook his head and sighed. “But you’re going to have to move the rest of the stuff out this week. Her room too.”
“I know.” I blinked fast and sipped my coffee. It was too hot and I burned my tongue. “I told you I would. I will.”
“So, I have this.” He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a folded pack of papers. “Did you get your copy in the mail?”
“Yeah.” Our mailbox had been stuffed full after Key West, mostly advertisements and gamer magazines. I’d been hoping for a letter from the study abroad program, but instead I’d found a letter from a lawyer containing divorce papers. “I thought you didn’t want to get a divorce.”
He shrugged. “I don’t think there’s really anything else to do now.” He unfolded the papers, flipping to the last page. I saw his signature on one side, and a blank line with my name typed underneath on the other.
“Is this really it?” I asked as he handed me a pen. The top was all chewed and I had a twinge of regret. Mason always chewed his pen tops to shreds. “We can sign this thing and it’s over?”
“The lawyer said it was easy when you didn’t have kids.”
That made me wince. I signed my name on the bottom, dated it, and handed the papers back to him. “Well. There you have it.”
“There’s also this.” He reached back into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “Your settlement.”
I looked at the paper as he put it on the table, frowning. “My what?”
“It’s so there won’t be any alimony or claim to anything in the future.” He cleared his throat and pushed it towards me. I stared at him, understanding immediately that this had been his parents’ idea. Clearly they were afraid I would come after him at some point, somehow, for money.
“I don’t want it.” I’d read the divorce agreement-well most of it anyway. I didn’t really care, as long as legally we weren’t married anymore once it was filed. But I didn’t remember reading anything about some sort of “settlement.”
“Take it.” Mason sighed. “Take it and go to Italy and…be happy.”
The sadness and hope mixed in his voice made me pick it up and unfold it. I stared at the number in the little box in disbelief. “This isn’t right.”
“Yeah it is.” Mason folded the divorce papers and tucked them back into his jacket. “My parents started a retirement account for us and a…a college fund for Isabella. That’s what was in it.”
“Twenty thousand dollars?” I choked, my hand trembling as I held it in my hand.
“It should pay for your trip and living expenses in Italy.” He looked at me over the table. “Right?”
I sat back in my seat, my breathing shallow. “I…I don’t know what to say.”
“I do.” Mason stood, holding his hand out to me. “Goodbye.”
I took his hand, but I didn’t shake it. Instead, I stood, putting my arms around his waist and hugging him. He hesitated but then put his arms around me too, his grip tightening briefly before letting me go.
“Goodbye, Mason.” I felt tears stinging my eyes and blinked them back. “I love you.”
“I know.” He kissed my cheek, picking up the check and putting it in my hand.
“Better put this in a safe place.”
He grinned when I tucked it under my t-shirt, into my bra. Then he turned and left without another word.
* * * *
The mail I’d been hoping to find when I came home from Key West was waiting for me when I got back from signing divorce papers with Mason. I opened the envelope, standing at the mailbox, shivering with both cold and fear. I remembered opening my acceptance letter to U of M, Mason asking me over the phone, “Is it a thick envelope or a thin one?” He’d already received his acceptance. “A thick one,” I’d replied and he had hooted and whooped. “That means you’re in! The rejections are thin!”
This was a thin envelope. My heart dropped as I took out the letter with shaking hands, gripping the paper tightly against the wind.
I closed my eyes and felt the tears that had been threatening the whole walk home from Sweetwater spilling down my cheeks.
I hadn’t know how I was going to pay for everything but now I had twenty thousand dollars tucked away in my bra and plenty of means to do it. I looked back at the letter in my hands, my tears dropping onto the paper, blurring some of the words, and saw the dates at the bottom:
Math had never been my best subject-that was how I’d gotten pregnant with Isabella in the first place. I’d known, of course I had, when the program started. And how long a pregnancy lasts. Even if I got pregnant next month, I realized, I wouldn’t be due until October. I’d been so excited to give them a baby, I hadn’t even considered the timing. How could I possibly give the Baumgartners their dream while still living my own?
I walked slowly back to the apartment, seeing Doc’s Cadillac parked in front-an unusual afternoon off. I shoved the letter into my pocket and wiped my wet face with my mittens before opening the front door. Jezebel mewed at my entrance and batted at my scarf as I unwound it and threw it over the couch, along with my coat. It was too quiet.
Had they gone out?
