Louise half turned away. “I was just crying, that’s all.” She kept looking at the floor.
“Come, dear, there is some reason why you were crying. What is it, Lou?”
“Nothing, I told you.”
“Has it something to do with my kissing you on our walk in the woods? You acted a little strange, but then you did seem to like it a little. Sweetheart, I’m your sister and I love you. That’s why I kissed you. But if you didn’t like it you should tell me about it. You know you can talk to me about things.”
“I… well… I guess the way you kissed me was so strange. When you kissed me I… I felt so peculiar. Girls in the convent didn’t kiss each other. And you with your… tongue and all. I felt so… so dizzy and… and excited in a way I didn’t understand and I loved you and prayed to God you loved me like you said you did… but I didn’t know if it was right. Then you told me you loved me and I liked it more and more… wanted it more and more. But something kept telling me I shouldn’t. I don’t know…” She trembled. Gunilla drew her into her arms and began stroking her hair and back. Little Louise looked such a child with her thin body in the midst of Gunilla’s opulence.
“There, there, precious, love is always good. That was just love, dearest.”
“I prayed it was love. I want you so much to love me. I…” Her head lifted and she looked at Gunilla with a great look of purity and longing combined. She wet her lips. It was difficult for her to speak.
Gunilla looked into her eyes and smiled. “I love you, little Lou. I love you. Just put your head on my shoulder and rest, precious, like you do when you fall, and I’ll take care of you. We’ll talk about it after you’re calmer, and I’ll explain everything to you, and everything will be all right.” She ran her hand through Louise’s hair stroking the back of her head. The child, with a convulsive sob, buried her face in Gunilla’s neck.
“But, Nilla, that’s not the real thing.” The words were muffled. “The reason I was crying was because of Lars.” Gunilla grinned at me over Louise’s shoulder. “When I look at him, I feel like when you kissed me with your tongue… I… I want him to kiss me that way. When he looks at me, I get all strange and faint and shivers go up and down my back.”
“But what’s wrong with that, Lou? Don’t you like it when he looks at you?”
“Oh, yes, Nilla. But he looks at my… body! And I’m sure the things I feel are the bad things the Sisters warned us about.”
Gunilla laughed scornfully. “Those wicked old maids-the idea of them poisoning you with such nonsense! Look, sweetheart, you’ve been locked away in that convent school out of touch with real life for five years. I am your sister and I love you. You can trust me. Don’t you? If you can’t trust your sister Gunilla, who can you trust? Please trust me to teach you what is good and what is bad. Don’t believe all the things those old maids tell you who can’t have life and want to ruin it for everyone else.” Louise was looking up at her now, her eyes searching her sister’s face. “Won’t you trust me, Lou?” Gunilla asked her.
“I… I’ll try. I need someone to love me so much-someone I can trust. I felt so strange and happy when you kissed me… so holy about it; and I love Lars so much… I love it so much when he looks at me that way. Oh, Nilla, I want him to kiss me so much!”
“He will kiss you, Lou. I’ll arrange it. But, Lou, he’ll want to do more than just kiss you. You know how you feel? Well, he’ll feel that way too. And when a man feels that way, he does other things.”
“What kind of things, Nilla?” Louise’s voice was very tiny.
“Why, he touches your body.” Louise shuddered. “Would you want that, Lou?”
“I… don’t know.”
“Well if I get him to kiss you, will you let him touch you?”
“Would it be all right, Nilla?”
“It is the finest thing in the world, Louise. It is the greatest thing a woman can do for the man she loves.”
“Oh, then, I want him to touch me. Even if it hurts. I… think I do want it, Nilla. My body wants Lars to touch, it… but wouldn’t he be disappointed. I’m still only a little girl and, well… you…”
Gunilla laughed and hugged her. “Well, I don’t know actually. We’d have to see what there is to touch. Do you want me to see if your body would please him?”
“Is that part of love, Nilla?”
“Yes, darling.”
“And does that make it all right?”
“Lou, love is the only thing that means anything in life.”
“The Sisters said holiness was.”
“Sweetheart, nothing is as holy as love. Nothing. You are young, darling. God made our bodies to love!” Her hands were on her sister’s sides now, gradually working to the front of her dress.
“Our bodies? But I thought we loved with our mind and our soul?”
“Our minds and souls feel love, but it is through our bodies that we know love. Through them we can reach the ultimate communication of love. You are too young yet to fully understand this but you can begin to learn. In our bodies, sweet, are secret springs that release love for us. It is in us but is all tied up. We have to release it, and touching is the key. By touching and stroking each other-giving love through the body, the hands-we give great joy to each other and release more and more love! Like when I kissed you, you felt weak with love, didn’t you?”
“Y-Yes. But was that love?”
“Yes, dear. Love… And now as I touch you, don’t you feel closer to me?” She was stroking the girl’s little buds of breasts through her dress while she talked.
“Y-yes, Nilla.”
“Well, then. Now let’s see whether you could please Lars.”
Gunilla began to unbutton the dress slowly from the top. When the girl looked confused, she pulled her close and kissed her, pressing more and more on her back. The child trembled. After a moment she returned the kiss. Gunilla softly muttered meaningless endearments and unbuttoned the dress to the waist.
Louise relaxed and stood there, letting Gunilla do what she wanted. Gunilla kissed and kissed her. Louise let out a little gasp, stiffened momentarily, then completely relaxed as Gunilla gently put her tongue into her mouth. Now Gunilla slowly got up and turned Louise toward the window. She was going to show her to me! She pulled the dress wide.
Louise wore nothing under the frock but her little-girl panties. I could see the pink nipples of breasts hardly larger than my own chest. I saw the fine fine ribs, the delicate bones and the rose-white skin. Louise stood there with her eyes shut and her teddy bear dangling from one arm. It was this that made it especially depraved. Her face was flushed and her breathing heavy. She was shaken with desire, as was the face above her. But I was startled by the contrast. Desire in Louise was somehow still “pure”! It was not lascivious and lustful as was the desire of Gunilla.
Louise was whimpering: “Please let him love me, please let him. Please…”
“He will, Louise, now lie back on the bed so I can tell whether you are pretty enough for him.”
Louise sank back completely limp and under her sister’s will. Gunilla slid the pants off without disturbing her except for a weak protest. Then she opened the legs and stood to one side so I could see everything.
What a strange cunt it was. There was only a light growth of hair-like the down on my face. I could see the smooth white flesh narrowing to a slit and a fold of darker skin. It. was so small and dainty and desirable. It was exquisitely lovely in its own way. Gunilla was stroking it.
Louise opened her lips. Her face was a mixture of confusion and desire. Gunilla wet her finger and slowly stroked the slit. She managed to get it in a little-though evidently not into the hole. She was content just to wet and softly stroke, muttering how pretty Louise was and how much she would please me. Then she bent down and licked the tiny nipples.
“O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,” moaned Louise in a small, dying voice.
“Do you want Lars to do that, Lou?”
“Yes, oh yes!”
Gunilla sucked gently at each breast in turn.
“Would you let him, Lou?”
“Yes. Yes!”
Gunilla looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. She gestured, showing what she was giving me. My present for the day. There was the child lying back on the bed with her eyes squeezed shut and the forgotten teddy
