'No,' she said, 'but I will be if I don't get back to Gordon's house. Mum will be picking me up soon.'
'You don't look too happy.'
'Well, I don't want to go back to that world — a boring old town with nosy neighbors and nasty aunts.'
'You'd rather stay in a world where you get attacked twice in one night?'
'I know it sounds crazy, but yes. Things happen here.'
'I'm going to see a friend later today, someone who might be able to help us out. You can come along if you want.'
'Really?'
'I think you might have a real instinct for this line of work.'
Stephanie nodded and gave a little shrug, and when she spoke, she fought hard to keep the sheer joy out of her voice. 'And what about magic?'
'What about it?'
'Will you teach me?'
'You don't even know if you're capable of doing magic.'
'How do I find out? Is there a test or something?'
'Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.'
'You're being funny again, aren't you?'
'So glad you noticed.'
'So will you teach me?'
'I'm not a teacher. I'm a detective. I already have a career.'
'Oh, right. It's just — I'd really like to learn, and you know it all.'
'Your flattery is subtle.'
'But it's okay; if you don't want to teach me, that's okay. I suppose I could always ask China.'
Skulduggery looked at her. 'China won't teach you. She won't teach you because there is nothing that she does that is not for her own gain. You mightn't see it at first, you might think she's actually being nice to you, but you can never trust her.'
'Okay then.'
'Okay. So we're agreed?'
'We're agreed. No trusting China.'
'Good. Glad we've got that sorted.'
'So will you teach me magic?'
He sighed. 'Dealing with you is going to be a trial, isn't it?'
'That's what my teachers at school say.'
'This is going to be fun,' Skulduggery said dryly. 'I just know it.'
Skulduggery dropped Stephanie off at Gordon's house, and half an hour later her mother's car splashed through huge puddles and Stephanie went outside to meet her. She managed to keep her mother's attention off the house, lest she notice that the front door was merely leaning against the door frame.
'Good morning,' her mother said as Stephanie got into the car. 'Everything okay?'
Stephanie nodded. 'Yeah, everything's fine.'
'You're looking a little bedraggled.'
'Oh, thanks, Mum.'
Her mother laughed as they drove back toward the gate. 'Sorry. So tell me, how was your night?'
Stephanie hesitated, then shrugged. 'Uneventful.'
Chapter Seven
Serpine
Nefarian Serpine had a visitor. The Hollow Men bowed deeply as he strode through the corridors of his castle. They looked real from a distance, but up close they were nothing more than cheap imitations of life. Their papery skin was a mere expressionless shell, inflated from within by the foulest of gases. It was only their hands and feet that were solid and heavy —
their feet clumped when they walked, and their hands weighed down their arms, so they stood with a perpetual stoop.
Their number increased the closer he got to the main hall. They were simple creatures, but they did what they were told, and they hadn't known what to make of the visitor. Serpine entered the main hall, the crowd of Hollow Men parted, and a man in a dark suit turned to him.
'Mr. Bliss,' Serpine said politely. 'I thought you were dead.'
'I heard that too,' Bliss responded. He was an elegant man of muscle and mass, as tall as Serpine, but whereas Serpine had black hair and glittering emerald-green eyes, Bliss was bald, with eyes of the palest blue. 'In fact, it was a rumor I started. I thought it might make people leave me alone in my retirement.'
'And has it?'
'Unfortunately, no.'
Serpine motioned for the Hollow Men to leave them, and he led his guest into the drawing room.
'Can I get you a drink?' Serpine asked, heading to the liquor cabinet. 'Or is it too early in the day?'
'I'm here on business,' Bliss said. 'Elder business.'
Serpine turned, gave him a smile. 'And how are the Elders?'
'Worried.'
'When are they not?'
Serpine went to the armchair by the window, watched the sun as it struggled to rise, then settled into the chair, crossed his legs, and waited for Bliss to continue. The last time they had been in the same room together, they had been trying to kill each other while a hurricane tore the place down around them. The very fact that Bliss remained standing right now told Serpine that he was thinking the same thing. Bliss was wary of him.
'The Elders called me in because, five days ago, two of their people went missing — Clement Gale and Alexander Slake.'
'How very unfortunate, but I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of meeting either of them.'
'They were assigned to .. . observe you, from time to time.'
'Spies?'
'Not at all. Merely observers. The Elders thought it prudent to keep tabs on a few of Mevolent's followers, to make sure no one strayed from the terms of the Truce. You were always at the top of that list.'
Serpine smiled. 'And you think I had something to do with their disappearance? I'm a man of peace these days, not war. I seek only knowledge.'
'You seek secrets.'
'You make that sound so sinister, Mr. Bliss. As for the missing 'observers,' maybe they'll turn up safe and well, and the Elders can apologize for dragging you out of your retirement.'
'They turned up yesterday.'
'Oh?'
'Dead.'
'How terrible for them.'
'Not a mark on their bodies. No indication at all as to how they died. Sound familiar?'
Serpine thought for a moment, then arched an eyebrow and held up his gloved right hand. 'You think this did it? You think I killed those men? I haven't used this power in years. When I first learned it, I thought it was a wonderful thing, but now I look on it as a curse, and a reminder to me of my many mistakes and transgressions in my servitude to Mevolent. I don't mind telling you, Mr. Bliss, that I am deeply ashamed of what I have done with my life.'
Bliss stood there and Serpine almost spoiled it all by laughing, but he managed to retain his look of mocking innocence.
'Thank you for your cooperation,' Bliss said, turning to leave. 'I shall be in touch if I need to ask you more questions.'
Serpine waited until Bliss was at the door before speaking again.
'They must be scared.'
Bliss stopped. 'What makes you say that?'
'They sent you, didn't they? Why didn't they send the detective, I wonder?'
'Skulduggery Pleasant is busy with another investigation. '
