‘I’m needed here. I’m still not convinced any good will come of this expedition. I’m staying and continuing the research. Also, I do not wish to stray too far from Castle Duir, in case… well, just in case.’
‘OK, but Essa?’
‘Essa has journeyed to the Pinelands before. She is one of the few people who ever has. You are lucky to have her.’
I looked at my party mounted up and waiting for me and nodded.
‘Be careful, it is wild in the Pinelands at the best of times,’ Mom said. ‘No one has returned from that part of The Land in a long time – I have no idea what conditions are like.’
Mom handed me a muslin-wrapped parcel. ‘Rhiannon is Queen of the Pookas – or at least she was the last time anyone was there. Give her this.’
‘What is it?’
‘It is the first of the hazelnuts from your new Tree of Knowledge. My father sent a regular supply of hazelnuts to the Pinelands. My Pooka tutor once told me that that was the reason Queen Rhiannon agreed to send her to teach me. Remember, son, never look at an amorphous Pooka in the eye – it can antagonise their animal self. And always look a Pooka dirly in the eyes when they change back.’
‘Why?’
‘Because they will be naked.’
‘Oh yeah.’
I hugged her.
‘Go,’ she said, pushing me away. ‘You are losing sunlight.’
As I walked towards Acorn I felt a slap on my back. I turned to see Turlow dressed in shiny black leather. He put his arm around me.
‘Ah, Faerie prince, I’m looking forward to getting acquainted with you on this adventure.’
‘You’re coming with us?’
‘I travel with my betrothed,’ he said.
‘Great,’ I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster – which wasn’t much.
Just before I mounted up, Turlow looked over his shoulder and placed his face close to mine. In a conspiratorial whisper he said, ‘I don’t want to embarrass you in front of the others, Conor. But from one royal to another, I’d like to give you a piece of advice.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Well, my friend,’ he said, ‘you could really use a bath.’
People always complain about winter but not me. I like winter or, I should say, I used to. What I used to like about winter was the indoor stuff: the crackling warm fires, hearty soups and stews, and cosy quilts. This travelling around outside on horseback in the winter is for the birds. I take that back – even the birds have enough sense to fly someplace warm in the winter. Saying that, if I had to be outside this time of year it might as well have been on a day like this one. It was glorious – sharp, cold, with bright sunshine pouring from an indigo-blue sky. Mom had packed me a fox fur hat and mittens that kept my ears and fingers toasty warm. If only I had a pair of cool Rayban sunglasses I would have been perfectly contented to be out in the elements.
This was not a Sunday afternoon jaunt to visit Mother Oak – we had serious distance to cover. Essa set a near brutal pace that meant leisurely chats on horseback were out. Not that a private chat with Essa would have been possible anyway. The Turd-low stuck to her side like a duckling to its mother. Even during the infrequent short rests, he was attached to her like a burr. It made me think that she really must like him, ’cause if I crowded Essa that much I’d probably be bleeding before not very long.
On the first night I went to bed immediately after dinner. I said I was tired but the truth of it was that I just couldn’t stand to watch the two of them snuggled up together in the firelight.
I awoke the next morning and thought I had gone blind overnight. Fog had crept in that was so thick I literally couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. When The Land does weather, it doesn’t do it in halves. It made me hope that we would avoid snow on this trip. At breakfast I spoke to Brendan and asked him to strike up a conversation with Turlow sometime during the day so I could have a chat with Essa. He said he would and added that he would also pass a note to her in the playground, if I wantim to.
The morning ride was so slow that we might as well have been walking. It wasn’t until an hour before noon that the fog lifted enough so that we could at least canter without braining ourselves on trees. Turlow dropped back and said that Essa wanted to talk to me. It looked like Brendan wouldn’t have to make forced small talk after all.
When I pulled up next to Essa she said, ‘So what do you want to talk to me about?’
‘I thought you wanted to talk to me?’
‘Turlow told me that you asked Brendan to distract him so you could talk to me in private.’
‘Oh, he heard that, did he?’
‘That is what he told me. So what is so important?’
‘Nothing’s important, I just wanted to… you know, talk.’
‘About what?’
‘I don’t know; maybe about how come you got engaged in like three months?’
‘That’s what you wanted to talk about?’
It wasn’t – well, it was, but it was stupid to use it as an opening conversational gambit but since I started, I just ploughed on. ‘It’s as good a topic as any.’
‘And I have to justify my actions to you – why?’ she said in a tone that made me realise that we were probably going down a conversational cul-de-sac.
‘You don’t have to justify anything. I just think it’s strange that you went all bridal so soon after my departure.’
‘Let me get this straight – you think that my getting engaged is because I couldn’t have you?’
‘Well, I wouldn’t put it like that but…’
‘Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,’ she hissed. ‘You are the most arrogant, pop-headed imbecile I have ever met.’
‘Pop-headed?’
‘Do you have anything else to discuss?’
‘Yeah, what does pop-headed mean?’
She made that exasperated Essa noise that she frequently makes just before she pummels you. ‘You are dismissed,’ she said.
Now I wasn’t really into continuing this stupid argument, or getting pummelled for that matter, but I was not about to be sent away like a lackey. Thinking about it, I wouldn’t even be that rude to a lackey – and I don’t even know what a lackey is.
‘Dismissed! You are dismissing me? Oh thank you, Your Royal Highness, for the privilege of your company. If there is anything else your Sire-ship requires don’t hesitate to order your Turd-low to sneak in and overhear it.’
I pulled the reins on Acorn and let Her Ladyship pull ahead. Turlow passed me on the left and said, ‘That did not sound very good.’
I spotted a glimpse of a smirk on his face as he caught up with his fiancee.
Araf came abreast. ‘That didn’t sound very good,’ he said.
Araf it seemed had learned how to make unnecessary comments. I have only myself to blame ’cause I think he learned that from me. I let him go by and dropped into step with Brendan.
‘That didn’t sound very good,’ Brendan said.
‘That seems to be the consensus. Could you really hear us all the way back here?’
‘Let’s just say if you two ever get married, I don’t want to live next door.’
‘Don’t worry, there is not much chance of that.’
‘Conor, can I give you a piece of constructive advice?’
‘Go ahead,’ I sighed.
‘Stop being such a jerk.’
‘That’s constructive advice?’ I asked.
‘Well maybe not – but it is advice.’
‘So I’m the jerk? What about her? She was the one that tore my head off.’
