out whether the sound was coming from my dream or from the waking world. I sat up in bed and listened. Just because my grandfather was a peeping tom didn’t mean I was going to cop a look at Queen Rhiannon swimming naked – as much as I’d like to. I dressed, walked downstairs and found Essa speaking to the wet-hared, robed Queen, at the entrance to the council room. They stopped when they saw me. The Queen and I swapped morning pleasantries and she left.
‘Is everyone all right?’ I asked.
‘We’re fine,’ Essa said. ‘Brendan has been complaining about not having any meat in a while. He asked a Pooka if he could change into something he called a New York porterhouse so he could eat him. I’m not sure if the poor Pooka was scared or just confused.’ Then she smiled and I realised just how much I had missed that smile. ‘The Queen seems to like you,’ she said.
‘Oh, yeah? What did she say about me?’
‘She told me that I was with the wrong man.’
‘Well, I have to agree with her there. I don’t see how you can ignore such good advice from a queen and a prince. Come to think of it I’m sure I could get a king to join the focus group.’
‘Turlow is a king,’ she replied smugly.
‘And here is me thinking that he was just a Turd-low.’
Essa’s face got those lines in it that meant that our pleasant conversation was coming to an end. She turned to leave. I reached for her arm and thought better of it.
‘Essa,’ I called after her and she stopped. ‘Seriously, even if we never get together again I still agree with the Queen. He is not the right man for you.’
She gave me that exasperated look, which was safer than her I’m about to hit you look. ‘And why is that?’
‘When you are around him – you… you just don’t seem to be you.’
This looked like it threw her for a second. But then she bounced back, ‘Maybe this is the real me and you are the one that brings out my worst.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t think so.’
For a second I thought she was going to say something else but then she looked at her shoes and left.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The Pinelands quickly became re-Pookalated. It must not take much hazelnut to help a Pooka remember how to stand on two legs ’cause everywhere I went I saw formerly fur-covered people being led back to their homes looking kinda dopey. I spoke to Tuan and he said that when Pookas are lost it takes them a while to start thinking like a person again. I saw one woman lick her hand and then wash her cheek like a cat.
Tuan hosted a dinner for us in his modest house. Believe it or not he cooked salmon.
‘That’s what I just don’t get,’ Brendan said between mounced baculs. ‘You guys in The Land just go up to a bunny or a fish and say, “Could you please die for me?” and they do?’
‘We are not as flippant as that,’ Araf answered, ‘asking for an animal’s life is a skill that must be learned, but that is essentially what happens.’
‘Why on earth would an animal agree to that?’ Brendan asked.
‘Because they know they will be born again,’ Tuan said as if talking to a five-year-old.
‘How do they know that?’
This question stumped Tuan, as if Brendan had asked him, ‘How do you know the sun shines?’
‘That is what they tell me,’ the Pooka said. ‘Why would I doubt them?’
It was nice having a boys’ night. Tuan had invited the Turd-low but he said he would rather sit alone and wait for his beloved to return from the dinner she was having with Nieve and the Queen. Brendan, who usually sticks up for the Banshee, called him ‘hen-pecked’. I, on the other hand, thought maybe Turlow had the right idea. Perhaps if I had paid more attention to Essa I would be doing something other than talking bull with guys and laying the groundwork for a hangover.
Saying that, it was a delightful evening. The food was good and Tuan produced a couple of bottles of some lovely Pooka mead-like stuff that had milk or cream in it. I almost asked if the milk came from regular cows or Pookas that were cows and then decided that I didn’t want to know. It was stronger than it tasted and it loosened Tuan’s tongue until I asked him how much hazelnut it takes to make a Pooka remember that he has feet instead of paws.
Tuan clammed up and said that was not information that should be discussed outside of the clan.
‘Don’t worry, Pooka brother,’ I told him. ‘Remember I’m a barush and Brendan is my closest adviser. Any Pooka secret you tell him or me will go no further than this room.’
‘I’m an adviser?’ Brendan said. ‘When did that happen?’
‘And you can tell Araf anything ’cause he never speaks,’ I said, patting the Imp on the back. ‘Isn’t that right, Prince Araf?’
The big guy gave me his hallmark blank stare.
‘See.’
‘Anyway what’s the big secret?’ Brendan asked. ‘So you need hazelnuts. Pookas need hazelnuts and cops need donuts.’
‘Do donuts come from do trees?’ Tuan asked.
‘Never mind,’ I said, ‘but Brendan has a point. Why keep it such a secret?’
‘Because it is a weakness,’ Tuan said, crouching down as if someone was overhearing him. ‘If others were to realise our dependence on hazel then they could use it to exploit us.’
‘It seems to me that someone already has,’ Brendan said in such a matter-of-fact way that everyone looked at him a bit shocked.
‘Explain,’ Tuan demanded.› eight='0%' width='5%'›‘Well, Conor told me that no one knows why the Hall of Knowledge was destroyed. It seems obvious to me that somebody wanted to take the Pookas out of the equation by destroying all the hazel trees. They almost succeeded.’
My gods, I thought, it was so obvious. Why didn’t I see it before?
Tuan was unconvinced. ‘But no one knew about our need for hazelnuts except Conor’s grandfather.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ Brendan asked. ‘The one thing I know about secrets is that there is no such thing. Somebody else always knows.’
‘Who?’ Tuan asked.
‘Someone who is a master of ancient lore,’ I said in a dreamy voice as I thought out loud. ‘Someone who will do anything to get his own way.’
‘Oh,’ Araf said.
‘Who?’ Brendan and Tuan asked together.
I had to take a slug of Pooka-shine before I could even say the name. ‘Cialtie.’
This kinda killed the happy party mood of the evening but it didn’t stifle the discussion. We all eventually agreed that if the Hazellands were destroyed to stop the Pookas from getting hazelnuts, then that meant that the Hall of Knowledge was once again in peril.
‘We should inform Dahy,’ Araf said.
‘Inform him of what?’ a woman’s voice asked from the doorway. It was Aunt Nieve followed by Essa.
We filled the ladies in on our epiphany. At first they thought it was just drunken ramblings but then they asked more questions. Soon they thought it was a pretty good theory too.
‘We should talk about this on our walk,’ Nieve said.
‘Good idea,’ Brendan replied, jumping up to join her.
‘You two have a walk planned?’ I asked as I gave a questioning glance to Essa. The tilt of her head implied she knew something that I didn’t. The walkers just smiled. Brendan came back into the room to pick up his jacket from the floor beside me. As he leaned down I whispered, ‘And what’s all this then?’
