during the nav detail. Once it was over, I bookmarked my place so I could go back to it.”
“Keep going,” Brill encouraged me. “Don’t forget to breathe.”
“I was getting discouraged because I could see that I would not be ready for the next test cycle. I’ve been reading for a month and I can’t get to the end of it. There was too much math and science that was taking me forever to wade through.”
“What?” Her brow furrowed in confusion.
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. Last night, when Francis relieved me I found out I’d bookmarked spec one, not spec three.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and let it out.
“Holy crap, Ish! You didn’t notice?”
I opened my eyes. “Seems silly in hindsight but there’s only the one small notation in the top of the screen. I was so sure I’d bookmarked three that it just never occurred to me to check it again. I expected the material to be hard, so when it was, I just figured that was normal.”
“So you’ve been studying spec one ever since we left St. Cloud?” she asked to confirm what I was telling her.
“Yes.”
“How far did you get?”
I pulled out my tablet and showed her the bookmarked page.
“You’re almost through with it!”
“Yeah, but I don’t understand half of what I’ve gone through so far.”
“That’s not what has you upset, is it,” she said suddenly.
I shook my head. “That’s just stupidity. I’m used to being stupid.”
“Ishmael Horatio Wang, you are a long way from stupid, although if you keep talking like that you might convince me. Now what the hell is going on?”
I lowered my voice and was overly conscious of Diane just outside the office. “Last night, when Francis pointed out my mistake, he started teasing me about Diane. He said I probably was not thinking clearly because I’d been playing kneesies with her.”
“That shit!”
“No, no.” I held up my hand. “He was teasing. He’s a good guy, and I’ve been teased before. He didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Then what has you so upset, Ish?” she asked gently.
“What if he’s right?”
“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.”
I lowered my voice as far as I could while still having it audible over the environmentals, “What if being around Diane distracts me so much that I don’t know what I’m doing? I could put the ship in danger.”
Brill just gaped at me, and I wanted the deck to open and swallow me. Finally, she said, “You’re kidding, right?”
“What? No. Why would I kid about that.”
“Well, Ish, that’s just about the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Do you really believe that?”
“I didn’t think so. But then again, how would I know? I thought I was studying spec three. What if I had crossed the CO2 with the O2 lines instead? Or something equally stupid and dangerous?”
“None of us are infallible, Ish. Aren’t you being a little hard on yourself?”
“We’re talking about the safety of the ship. What if I can’t be trusted?”
“Ish, let’s be clear about one thing. I trust you with my life. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have you in my section. Not only that, but I trust you with the lives of every person on this ship. I don’t for one instant think your gonads got in the way of your brains. Ever. I’ve seen you work. I don’t buy it. I’m not even gonna rent it for the weekend.”
“But I studied the wrong damn material for the last six weeks! Is that reasonable?”
“I’m sorry, Ish,” Diane said from behind me.
“No, I’m sorry, Diane.” I turned to her. “I—”
“No, I’m sorry, Ish. It was a prank.”
“What?” I asked.
“It was a prank. I didn’t think you’d go this long without catching it.”
Brill started laughing.
“What?” I asked again.
“When we secured from nav detail, you set your tablet down on the station for a second. I changed the bookmark from spec three to spec two. It was just suppose to be a joke. I didn’t realize you were studying it all this time.”
“What?” I asked a third time.
“It was a joke, and I’m so sorry.” She looked miserable.
“Really?”
She nodded.
“Oh thank heavens, so I’m not going daft?” I asked.
“See? Now don’t you feel silly?” Brill asked.
Diane looked confused. “What?” she asked.
Just then what she had said sunk in. “Wait, what did you say you did?” I asked suddenly.
She sighed. “I’m so sorry, Ish—”
“No, no, it’s fine, but repeat what you just said.”
“You set your tablet down on the station as we were setting the normal watch. I changed your bookmark from spec three to spec two. And I had no idea you wouldn’t catch it.”
Brill’s eyes flicked to mine. “You set it to two?” she asked.
Diane nodded. “Yes, but I didn’t think he’d—”
Brill held up her hand, cutting Diane off.
“Just to be clear, you set it to spec two. Answer yes or no.”
“Yes.”
Brill looked at me. “Francis!”
“Had to be,” I agreed.
“What?” asked Diane.
“I’ve been studying spec one all this time, Diane,” I told her.
“No, spec two. I set it to spec two,” she said.
Brill held up my tablet with the spec one lessons on it.
“But spec one would be practically impossible without any background,” she protested.
“And in spite of that our man Ishmael Wang here has almost finished it in a month,” Brill informed her.
Diane was shaking her head, “But—”
Brill and I both said, “Francis!”
“He did spot it as soon as he looked over my shoulder,” I said. “Not that it would be too difficult for somebody who knew what the real spec three looks like.”
“And he was riding you about Diane,” Brill pointed out. “Hard.”
“What?” Diane asked.
I could have died, but Brill said, “Francis was teasing Ish about being so captivated by your feminine charms that he couldn’t see straight, hence his inability to see the difference between spec one and spec three.”
“What?” Diane said.
Brill nodded. “To the point where Ish here was ready to resign because he was afraid Francis was right and he didn’t want to endanger the ship.”
“That’s crazy.” She rounded on me. “I’m a much bigger threat to the ship than you are, you great ninny!”
Brill and I looked at each other at her outburst. “I don’t think you meant that the way it sounded, Diane,” Brill said dryly.
“Wait a tick,” Diane turned back to me. “You came down here to resign because you were afraid he was right?”
“I didn’t know how I could have messed up the bookmark,” I protested. “I didn’t think he was right, but I
