The only name that didn’t have a fancy effect was DI Steel’s, as if she’d been added at the last minute.
Logan leant over and whispered at her, while Beattie pulled up the next slide and read out the agenda. ‘What are you
‘What, can I no’ take an interest in ongoing cases?’ Steel gazed at Susanna from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs. ‘Wonder if she’d be interested in a full-body-cavity search?’
‘You’re
‘Pfff…No harm in looking, is there? Sides, Laz, right now I’m that horny I’d even do
Beattie was staring at her.
‘Don’t you mind me, Gordon: just telling McRae here what a great job you’d done on your presentation. Very professional.’
‘Oh, right. Thanks.’ He actually puffed up a little. Then produced handful of biros and some packets of Post-it notes. ‘Now, if we begin with the counterfeit merchandise, we need to assess what
‘Actually,’ Logan just stopped himself sticking up his hand, ‘we have a lead that—’
Something hard slammed into his left shin. ‘Ow! Who bloody—’
‘What Sergeant McRae is trying to say,’ Steel pulled on a smile, ‘is that we’re all committed to getting these hooky goods off the streets.’
The front of his leg was stinging.
Beattie nodded. ‘Yes, exactly. Now, if you all want to take a pad and a pen, we’ll each write down the kind of things we’re seeing being counterfeited at the moment…’
Logan thumped Steel on the sleeve, hissing, ‘What the hell was that for?’
‘Gallagher and Yates are
‘Actually.’ Susanna placed her biro on the table with a loud thunk. ‘Perhaps we can move on to discussing what we’re
‘Ah, yes…’ Beattie fumbled with his packs of Post-it notes, sending them skittering to the floor, pink rushing up his hairy cheeks. ‘Erm…Right.’ He licked his lips. ‘Well, obviously I don’t want to dictate what…when, erm, bringing various expertise to bear.’ He made a floppy hand gesture, as if he was trying to whisk an invisible egg. ‘Why we’re all here, after all.’
Inspiring.
Dildo slid a folded piece of paper in front of Logan. ‘YOU REALLY SODDING OWE ME FOR THIS!!!’
Logan cleared his throat. ‘We arrested someone—Ow!’
Steel kicked him again. ‘Someone who’d been sold a fake Rolex.’ She turned a crocodile smile in Logan’s direction. ‘Didn’t we, Laz?’
He moved his legs as far away as possible. ‘Yes.’
Beattie wrote ‘Rolex’ on a lonely stickie. ‘Well…the best thing from a policing point of view would be to catch someone in the act of selling the counterfeit merchandise on, and trail them back to their supplier.’
‘Really?’ Dildo sat back in his seat. ‘That’s amazing! We at Trading Standards have been puzzling long and hard about how to trace naughty fake goods. If
‘All right, Timothy, I think we get the picture.’ Susanna twiddled one of her pearl earrings. ‘I’m more concerned with the movement of counterfeit twenty-pound notes than knock-off hair straighteners. Where have you got with that?’
Beattie harrumphed. ‘Well, we did have a suspect in custody…’ He drifted off, then stared at Logan.
Here we go again. ‘Douglas Walker, eighteen. We arrested him for passing four and a half grand in dodgy twenties, but at least another twenty-three thousand’s passed through his hands. Released on bail till,’ Logan checked his watch, ‘beginning of March, I think.’
Susanna nodded. ‘Did he say where he got it from?’
‘Like interviewing a wooden leg. He—’
‘Wouldn’t tell us anything about where he got the stuff.’ Beattie nodded. ‘He’s obviously covering for someone.’
Steel snorted. ‘Aye, or he’s scared.’
‘Erm…yes, well, we’ll obviously have to follow that up.’ Beattie wrote ‘D WALKER’ on another stickie. ‘Now, can we—’
‘And it’s not just fake twenties any more, there’s tens and fives as well.’
‘I still don’t think—’
‘Tens and fives?’ The lady from HMRC sat forward. ‘We’ve not had any of those in yet.’
Beattie flushed again. ‘Yes, but shouldn’t we be—’
‘Do you have any samples?’
Logan pointed in the vague direction of FHQ. ‘IB’s analysing them now. Rumour is they’re local.’
