as I lifted the sheet of cookies and emptied every last one into my mouth, swallowing them whole.
Sam’s brows furrowed with anger, giving her normally angelic face a little attitude. “I was saving those to bring to work on Monday, thank you very much!”
Sam didn’t wear angry well. She was too pretty-dark brown shoulder length hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth, and big brown eyes.
“Come on, Sam,” I pleaded, my mouth brimming with gooey chocolate. “You know I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t even like sweets.”
Something slimy and pink escaped my mouth and ran itself over my lips. It took me a second to realize it was my tongue. Rather than curling back into my mouth, it hesitated on my lip as I focused on a stray chocolate chip lounging against the counter. Instantly, my tongue lurched out and grabbed hold of the chip, recoiling into my mouth like a spent cobra.
Sam quirked a less-than-amused brow and ran her palms down her paisley apron, as though composing herself. I have to count to ten, twenty sometimes. Otherwise, my temper is an ugly son of a bitch.
“Besides, none of the guys at work deserve them anyway.” I knew because I worked with Sam.
She appeared to be in the process of forgiving me, a slight smile playing with the ends of her lips. I turned to the potion sitting in the bowl. The yellow ball of spit was still shivering. I nearly gagged when Sam stabbed it with the whisk and continued stirring.
I peered over her shoulder and watched the potion change colors-going from a pale brown to red then deepening into flame orange. “What’s it doing?”
Sam nodded as if she were watching a movie, knew the ending, and was just dying to tell someone what happens. “Ah, of course, I should’ve known. The little devil put a Hemmen on you.” “A what?” “It’s a short-term shape-shifting charm. You’ll be back to normal in about five hours or so.” “Five hours? Look at me! Can’t you get rid of it sooner?”
Sam shook her head. “Would take lots of herbs and potions I don’t have. I’d probably have to get them at Fabian’s.” She laughed. “How ironic is that? Just hang tight. It’ll go away, I promise.”
It figures the little bastard would’ve put a short-term spell on me. Currently, there weren’t any laws against turning someone into a hideous creature if it would wear off after a day. And, even if he had turned me into this creature long term, he’d probably only get a slap on the wrists. The Netherworld wasn’t exactly good with doling out punishments. I was working on making it better. “You’re sure?” I asked. She nodded. “One hundred percent. Let’s just watch a couple movies to keep your mind off it.”
She hurried to her entertainment center and scanned through the numerous titles, using her index finger to guide her. “Dirty Dancing? Bridget Jones?” “The first or second Bridget?” “I have both,” she said with a triumphant smile. “I like the first one better.” With a nod of agreement, Sam pulled the DVD out and gingerly placed it into the player.
I wasn’t really sure what to do with myself. I couldn’t fit on her couch, and with my slime ball still suspended on the wall, sitting was out. Sam pointed a finger in my general direction. “How did Fabian catch you unaware enough to change you into…that?” I sighed-which came out as a grunt. “Well?” she asked while skipping into the kitchen to microwave a packet of popcorn.
I couldn’t quite meet her eyes and, instead, focused on drawing slimy lines on her counter top with one of my eight index fingers.
This was the part of the story I was least excited about. Fabian never should’ve caught me with my guard down. I’m a fairy. We’re renowned for being extremely quick, and we’ve got more magic in our little finger…well, you get it.
“My back was to him,” I mumbled. “I know, I know…super dumb.”
Sam’s eyebrows reached for the ceiling. “That doesn’t sound like you at all, Dulce. Why was your back to him?”
If I wasn’t excited about that last part of the story, this part excited me even less. “There was someone in his shop-a guy I’ve never seen before.”
Sam laughed and quirked a knowing brow. “So, let me make sure I’ve got this right.”
She plopped her hands on her hips and paused for a good three seconds. Maybe she was getting me back for the cookies. “You, one of the strongest fairies around, turned your back on a known dark arts practitioner because he had a hot guy in his store?”
“No, it wasn’t that at all. I’d never seen him before, and I couldn’t figure out what he was.”
As a fairy, I have the innate ability to decipher a creature as soon as I see one. I can tell a warlock from a vampire from a gorgon in seconds. I don’t get paid the big bucks for nothing.
Sam’s face took on a definite look of surprise, her eyes wide, her lips twitching. “You couldn’t tell what he was? Wow, that’s a first.”
I nodded my bulbous head. “Exactly. And if he’s here permanently, he never checked in with me or Headquarters.”
Any new creature who hoped to settle in Splendor, California needed to contact Headquarters, otherwise known as the A.N. C (Association for Netherworld Creatures). And more pointedly, they had to register with me. This new stranger had done neither. Maybe he’d gotten lost when coming over. It wasn’t rare for a creature to come through the passage from Netherworld to Earth and somehow get lost along the way. You’ll find the directionally challenged everywhere.
“Maybe you should talk to Bram,” Sam said. “He always seems to know what’s going on.”
It wasn’t a bad idea, actually. Bram was a vampire (I know, how cliche…) who ran a nightclub called No Regrets. No Regrets was in the middle of the city and was the biggest hangout for creatures of the Netherworld. If something was going down, Bram was always among the first to know.
“Yeah, not a bad idea,” I said.
First things first, I’d pay a visit to Fabian and let him know how much I didn’t appreciate his little prank. Then, if he couldn’t give me any info on his strange visitor, I’d try Bram. My third choice was Dagan, a demon who ran an S amp;M club called Payne that wasn’t far from No Regrets. Dagan was always my last resort-I hated going to Payne. I’d seen things there that had scarred me for life.
So, it looked like my plans for the weekend were shot. Not like I had much planned-just editing chapters of my romance novel, Captain Slade’s Bounty. I’d been looking forward to a quiet weekend, so I could focus on Captain Slade and his ladylove, Clementine. Now, it looked like I’d be working the streets of Splendor instead.
Big goddammit.
###
Six hours later and with Bridget Jones one and two, Dirty Dancing and four bowls of popcorn under my belt, I was home and back to myself. I felt like hell considering I’d eaten more in one evening than I usually ate in a day.
I headed through my sparse living room and straight to my bathroom. I threw off the clothes Sam had lent me (the mass I’d been turned into had shredded my outfit) and turned on the shower full force. I was back to myself, but still disgusting-covered in a layer of what looked like clear snot, like I’d just dropped out of God’s nose.
I tested the water, waiting for it to warm. Then I turned to face myself in the mirror. I’m not a vain person but I was very happy to see my small and slender self reflected back at me. I pulled my mane of honey-gold hair from behind my back and inspected it. If I was narcissistic about anything, it was my hair. It was long-right down to my lower back and it looked like it had fared well in the metamorphosis. Except for the slime.
I keep my hair long because I’m not thrilled with my ears. As a fairy, my ears come to points at the tops. Think Spock. Other than that, I look like a human. And, no, I don’t have wings.
I checked the water again; it was warm enough. I lived in a pretty crappy apartment and the pipes in the wall screamed every time I turned the hot water on-they’d just pound if I wanted cold. I know I mentioned earlier that I make a good living, and I do. The crap apartment is due to the fact that I’m saving all my money to retire from the A.N.C. Then I can focus on my writing full time.
It might sound strange that one as magical as I would need to work nine-to-five weekdays and some weekends, but there it is. There are strict laws that disallow those of us who can, to create money out of thin air. I guess the powers that be thought about it and realized all creatures who can create something from nothing-fairies, witches and warlocks, just to name a few-certainly would be at the top of the food chain…something bad for the
