“Nothing, I…no, nothing.” I shivered, drawing the cloak tighter. “I just…” I realized that I was afraid. “Stoyan…”
“What? You frighten me, Paula, when you look like that. Come, sit down.” He sat me on the bunk, squatting in front of me, unclamping my hands from the cloak and putting his around them. “Now tell me.”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. A fit of the vapors. But stay there, please.” His grasp was warm; it pushed the fear away a little. Soon, very soon, I suspected, nothing would have the power to do that.
After a while, Duarte came down to the cabin. We had sailed around the promontory and were heading into the first of the narrow bays. Stoyan had got up from time to time to look out and report to me. I was trying to read aloud—
“I have a question to ask you.” Our captain was standing in the doorway, hands up on the frame, expression neutral.
“Both of us?” I asked, closing the book and feeling my heart pick up its pace.
“Stoyan only. If I find a track from this bay or the next, will you come up the mountain with me?”
We stared at him in stunned silence.
“I cannot,” Stoyan said after a little. “My place is with Paula. You cannot expect her to put herself in the path of plague. And if she stays on the boat, I do not go.”
“And if she comes, too?” Duarte’s dark gaze moved to me.
Now I was really cold. I knew why I had been afraid. At no point in the journey thus far had I really believed that I might die. Perhaps that was not quite true; the whirlwind sail around the cliffs had had its moments. But this…“Before, you said you wouldn’t take us,” I said, trying to sound calm. “What has changed your mind?”
Duarte gave a bitter smile. “If I could go alone, I would,” he said. “But I must have two men with me at least, one as a guard, a second to come back for help if one of us is injured. Pero has volunteered. Stoyan is the strongest man on board, an unparalleled fighter.”
“And the others?” I asked, knowing the answer before he spoke.
“Pero is a friend; we understand each other. I will not ask the others to risk their lives out of personal loyalty. Accidents, mishaps, bandits, yes. Plague, no.”
“You didn’t ever consider not going yourself?” I queried, clutching my hands together to conceal the way they were shaking. Because, of course, I did want to go. Despite the plague, despite the danger, I still believed I was meant to go.
“No. Paula, will you release Stoyan from his obligation to you? My crew will keep you safe. They will treat you with respect. You have my word—”
“I said no.” Stoyan’s voice was heavy with finality. “I will not go, and neither will Paula. She stays, and I am her guard. Take your little statue and make your climb, pirate, and if your loyal mate loses his life to those ills you list —bandits, accidents, plague—live with the knowledge of that. You will not take Paula with you.”
Duarte’s brows shot up. For a moment, he looked like his old self. “Ah, but Paula is very much her own woman,” he said. “I thought you’d have learned that by now. Besides, she’s your employer, unless I’ve got things wrong. Why don’t we let her answer?”
God help me. I had to say yes; everything that had happened up till now made that clear. A force beyond the worldly wanted Cybele’s Gift returned. My instincts and the messages of the Other Kingdom told me all three of us were required to make that happen. I was prepared to go. Terrified, but willing. I was not so sure I was ready to put Stoyan in the path of plague.
“We need to talk about this alone,” I told Duarte. “Stoyan and I.”
“There’s no time.” The captain’s features had a set look.
“It won’t take long. Please.”
He went out without a word, and I got to my feet. Stoyan stood, too, his face ashen in the bright light from the porthole. His scar made a sharp line across his cheek; his lips were pressed together.
“I don’t want to argue with you,” I said. “I believe I must do this. But I don’t want you to come because of duty, because it’s your job to look after me and protect me. I couldn’t bear to put you in such peril because of that, Stoyan.”
“That was the reason you hired me. As a bodyguard.”
“Then I’ll unhire you, if that makes this any easier. Consider yourself no longer in my employment. You are your own man, and you can make your decision based only on your own wishes. You can make it not as a bodyguard but as a…friend.” My voice had started to shake. I so much wanted him to come with me, but I shrank from the prospect of watching him perish from plague, or in combat, or from cold or injury. I realized, with a jolt of the heart, that I would not be able to bear it. I reached out and took his hand, and his fingers closed around mine. I had never seen him like this; he looked stricken.
“I will ask you one question, Paula,” he said.
“Ask, then.”
“You will go, I see that, despite anything I may say or do. I know you. I know how determined you are. Do you want me to come with you?”
I nodded, tears of relief and sadness brimming in my eyes.
“Then I will come,” Stoyan said on a sigh.
“Duarte!” I called, and he was there in the doorway again; probably he’d heard the whole thing. Side by side, Stoyan and I faced him, our hands still clasped. “We’ll come,” I said. “Both of us. It’s what we’re meant to do. But no more mockery. No more dismissive remarks. We’ll do our best to help you, and you’ll treat us with respect, as equal members of your party. Now ask Pero to find us some really warm clothing. It looks as if we’re going to be up there overnight.”
Four crewmen rowed us ashore and waited while we searched for a path. The shore was rocky here with only a tiny flat patch for landing, and the tree cover came down almost to the water.
