loved a human? Or Danika? Or Phineas? Would they have been ordered murdered for that assumed crime?
A lump clogged my throat, backed by tears I refused to let spill. I turned the full power of my bewilderment on Wyatt, who actually took a step backward. “Why?” was the only word I could manage, and it came out as much a growl as a question.
He worked his mouth open and shut several times before attempting a halfhearted reply. “Fraternization between the race—”
“Don’t give me the fucking textbook answer, Truman. I had it mashed into my brain in Boot Camp, and I saw what happened to Bradford.” The single lesson our instructors drilled over and over was the utter inhumanity of the Dregs. We are human, they are not. Period.
Only not period, not anymore. These last few days with Phin had seriously screwed up my judgment, messing with four years of blind acceptance of everything Boot Camp had taught me. And without blind acceptance, Hunters began questioning orders, which made us harder to control. As long as we saw in perfect black and white, we couldn’t question the shades of gray in between.
“It shouldn’t surprise me, should it,” I asked, “after everything the brass did to me, that they’d go to such lengths to keep their control? They can’t let a were-fox love a human and turn a blind eye, because it goes against everything they teach Hunters about how to view Dregs.”
“There was more to it than that.”
“I just bet.” My hands began to ache, and I realized I’d clenched them so tight I’d cut my palms with my nails. I squeezed them harder, glad for the external pain. “So what kind of fucking hypocrite does that make you? Killing her for loving someone she shouldn’t, then you turn around and fall in love with me when you should have goddamn well known better?”
Every furious accusation seemed to strike like a fist, and he wilted a little with each blow. I hated seeing him like that—weak and defeated and utterly miserable—but part of me was also glad. Glad to see the guilty eaten alive by their conscience. Glad to know he still felt pain over what he’d done.
“If I hadn’t done it,” he said, “someone else would have. I had to keep it quiet, Evy. Why do you think no one uses Rain’s death as a Triad object lesson? No one else knew.”
“Of course not. Can’t have the other Hunters thinking we go around murdering people for the holy hell of it.”
“That’s not fair.” He stood up straighter, shoulders back. His temper was returning, making him fight. “You have no idea why I did what I did. You hadn’t joined the team yet. You don’t know the part of me that I sacrificed that night!”
“So fucking tell me!”
His eyes blazed with fury, as hot as I’d ever seen. I half expected him to spontaneously combust under the heat of it. Instead, he said, “There were two names on the Neutralize order, Evy. Rain and the man she loved. Both of them were supposed to die.”
It all started to make a strange kind of sense. Four years ago, right before I joined. Wyatt took the job to keep it from the others, and from his own Hunters. He’d lost a part of himself.
“Tell me you didn’t kill Cole,” I said. “Tell me he was not the one in love with Rain and that his name wasn’t on the order. You fucking tell me that.” His silence broke my heart. Tears stung my eyes. I stumbled back until I hit the bed, then sat down hard. Unable to tear my gaze off a dull spot on the floor.
“I did take the order because his name was on it,” Wyatt said, the words spat out as though they tasted foul. “I took it so he wouldn’t have to die.”
My head snapped up. Phin had moved in closer to me, remaining on the periphery of my attention. Everything in me was fixed on Wyatt. On the way he could look both furious and defeated, and on the fire that still burned in his cheeks, even though his eyes were cold. I didn’t have to ask this time. He was going to tell me.
“I knew Cole was seeing someone, I just didn’t know who until the brass sent the order. They said it was my Hunter who was the problem, so it was now my problem to solve. I just couldn’t make myself tell Jesse and Ash. I couldn’t tell anyone what I was planning.
“I went to Rain’s apartment first, and I used a sniper rifle to eliminate my first target. She was a clerk in the office of a criminal defense lawyer who was prepping for a high-profile trial, so her murder was easily explained by the city police.”
The detached way he spoke of eliminating his target sent chills wiggling down my spine. I knew the psychology—put up a wall between yourself and your actions, dehumanize the victim. Make her a job, not a person. Training I’d utilized dozens of times in my Hunter career, putting down Bloods, weres, and other Dregs solely on the say-so of others. Animals to be euthanized, not people with lives and loved ones and futures. I hated seeing him so cold.
He continued. “I picked up Cole and drove us to the mountains. He didn’t question me at first—not until I stopped the car in the middle of the woods. I told him about the order, and then I stabbed him in the shoulder.”
My face must have asked the question he hurried to answer. “The knife blade was coated with a spell I’d spent my life savings to buy. It knocked him out and wiped his memory clean—nothing left of his past or his life as a Hunter, or his knowledge of Dregs. I drove him a hundred miles away and left him in front of an emergency room. Alone.”
His life savings to give Cole another chance. So damned familiar. “How exactly was that better than just killing him?”
He blinked owlishly, obviously not prepared for my question. “I couldn’t kill him, Evy. He was one of mine. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“And Rain did?” Hadn’t she, though? A month ago, I’d have been less quick to judge Wyatt’s decision. Taking Rain’s side never would have occurred to me. She’d have been guilty of seducing a human—a sickening crime I’d have been all too eager to punish her for, and probably enjoyed myself.
Yes. No.
Not just someone—a human Hunter, dammit.
“Faking both bodies would have raised suspicions,” Wyatt said. “The brass had to believe I’d killed him so I could save him.”
“Save him?” I snorted. “Dumping him in a strange city, with no idea who he is or where he’s from, and without telling him the truth about Rain? Maybe you didn’t pull the fucking trigger, but you killed everything that made Cole who he was. How is that not murder?”
I couldn’t take back the final question, and that was what crushed him. He crumpled into the closest chair, his strings cut by my barb. Repugnance and sympathy warred inside me. I wanted to hold him and make the agony of his actions seem okay, but they weren’t. I wanted to rage against what he’d done and hate him for allowing Cole and Rain to be torn apart. I wanted to rip out the part of me that
The idea that Wyatt could save Cole’s life by taking away everything he knew and making him forget had been born of some noble sense of protection. He was a Handler protecting his Hunter. What were we really, except our memories? My body was different, but my mind was intact. I knew who I was, even with those bits of Chalice peeking out once in a while. Cole had been taken away and replaced by a shell.
“I’m sorry,” Wyatt whispered, barely audible. No strength left in his voice.
“You don’t owe
“No, I do, because you’re right. I am a hypocrite. I destroyed two lives for doing the same thing I did. You can’t choose the people you fall in love with. I know that now, and it’s too late to fix it.” He inhaled a shuddering breath, then released it in short, wheezing pants. “Something tells me apologizing to Snow when I meet him isn’t going to help.”
I flinched at the thought. Snow seemed to know what Wyatt had done—a turn of events I could only guess at, because Wyatt was careful. He wouldn’t have left incriminating evidence behind, and it was very likely this was
