Bay of the Dead

'Valley of death.'

'We'll get transport,' Gwen said. 'Something big and solid.'

'From where?' said Rhys.

'Wherever we can find it.'

'Oh, so we're common car thieves, are we now?'

She shrugged. 'Needs must when the devil drives, Rhys.'

Rhys nodded at the pocket where she kept her phone. 'Why don't you try Jack again, see if he can come and pick us up?'

Gwen had called a flustered Ianto twenty minutes earlier, only to be told that he was in the middle of delivering a baby and that Jack was dead again. It had not been a long conversation.

'Jack and Ianto have enough on their hands,' she said. 'Besides, I'm not using them as a taxi service. I do have my pride, you know.'

'Bloody stubborn is what you are,' Rhys said, albeit with the trace of a smile.

'I think you mean independent, don't you?' said Gwen, smiling back at him.

They set off, emerging from the back alleys along which they had been skulking, and starting down the wide, straight expanse of Lloyd George Avenue, which ran parallel with Bute Street, and stretched all the way from Cardiff city centre to Roald Dahl Plass. The modest houses lining both sides of the road, fronted by grass verges, were dark and quiet, and there appeared to be no sign of zombie activity in the immediate vicinity.

Even so, they felt nervous and exposed, and moved as swiftly and silently as they could, their eyes darting everywhere, their hands tightly clutching their respective weapons. The wet road stretching before them was a rusty, glittering brown under the light from the street lamps. To Rhys, their footsteps sounded like little crackling detonations, which he couldn't believe weren't audible for miles around.

They had been walking for only a couple of minutes when Gwen hissed, 'Rhys, over there.'

At first he thought she had spotted a zombie, and tensed, but then realised she was referring to a silver Mitsubishi Shogun parked in front of a house to their left.

They ran across to it. Gwen tried the doors.

'You didn't honestly expect it to be open, did you?' Rhys whispered.

She shrugged. 'You never know.'

She produced something from the pocket of her jacket, a stubby black circular device, like a miniature hubcap. When she placed it on the door of the car it remained there, clinging like a limpet. Lights with no discernible source rippled across its surface.

'What's that, then? One of your alien doodahs?' said Rhys.

'Sort of. It's something Tosh came up with. But it's derived from alien technology, yes.'

There was the sudden chunky sound of locks disengaging.

'Et voila!' exclaimed Gwen, grinning.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?'

They spun round to see the Shogun's owner framed in the open doorway of the house behind them. He was in his mid-thirties, hair tousled, face unshaven and rumpled with sleep. He was wearing a grey T-shirt stretched over a burgeoning beer belly and baggy black boxer shorts. In his hands he was brandishing a red squeegee mop.

He's just like me, Rhys thought with a horribly embarrassed sense of shame, and here we are about to nick his pride and joy.

He held up his hands, though tried not to make it look as though he was wielding his golf club like a weapon, and flashed his teeth in a contrite grin.

'Hello, mate,' he said. 'Listen, this isn't what it looks like.'

'What were you doing with my-' the man said, and then the expression on his face changed from outraged indignation to an open-mouthed, almost comical, gape.

Rhys realised that the car owner was no longer looking at him. He turned his head, stomach clenching with an even more acute sense of embarrassment when he saw that Gwen was pointing her gun at the man.

'Come on, love, there's no need for that,' he said light-heartedly, trying to flash the man a reassuring smile.

'I'm really sorry,' Gwen said, looking as though she meant it, 'but we need your car. It's a matter of life and death.'

'We'll bring it back when we've finished with it,' Rhys promised.

'So if you could just get us the keys,' Gwen said.

The man looked bewildered and scared. Holding up his hands, as though aping Rhys's actions of a few moments before, he nodded mutely and backed stumblingly into his house. Then his eyes widened further and his head jerked to look at something over Gwen's shoulder.

Rhys followed his gaze. 'Oh, crap,' he said.

Eight zombies had appeared from the shadows of the house opposite and were shambling across the road towards them. One was dressed as a clown, its face a repulsive blend of dark rot and white greasepaint; another was an air hostess, her cap perched at a jaunty angle on her wizened, almost hairless head.

Gwen turned and took a shot at one of the zombies, hitting it in the throat. It rocked back on its heels, and then resumed its advance, thin blood streaming from the wound. Turning back to the man she said urgently, 'Go back into your house and lock yourself in.'

'Gwen, we can't leave him,' said Rhys, 'not now the zombies have seen him. You know what they were like at the cafe when they knew someone was inside. He'll have to come with us.'

Gwen paused and thought for a moment, then said, 'OK. Run inside and get the keys to the car. Be as quick as you can. I'll hold them off till you get back.'

The man hesitated.

'What are you waiting for?' Gwen snapped.

'I've got a wife and daughter,' said the man. 'They're asleep upstairs. I'm not leaving them.'

Gwen swore. The zombies were moving slowly, and it was a wide road, but there would be nowhere near enough time for the man to wake his family and bring them out to the car before the creatures were upon them. Maybe she and Rhys could take them all out, she thought; there were only eight of them, after all.

At that moment at least a dozen more zombies appeared from between two houses on her left and started moving in their direction.

'What's this?' Rhys shouted, head swivelling from one group of zombies to the other. 'Zombie tactics? They've got us in a pincer movement!'

Gwen took another shot at the zombies, hitting one of them in the shoulder, but it was no more than a token gesture. She knew that, no matter how slow the undead were, there was no way she and Rhys would be able to put them all down before they overwhelmed them with sheer numbers. If she and Rhys had been on their own, she would have suggested beating a hasty retreat, but she couldn't face the thought of leaving a young family to the mercy of the creatures, not after what had happened at the cafe.

And so she did the only thing she could — she grabbed Rhys and propelled him towards the house.

'Inside!' she shouted. 'We'll fight them from there.'

'Not sure that's a good idea,' he panted, running along beside her. 'Have you seen Night of the Living Dead?'

She scowled. 'Have you got any better ideas?'

ELEVEN

'Now, now, Mildred,' Jack said as the zombie snapped at him, missing his fingers by inches, 'don't be rude.'

Ianto, who was standing behind the chair into which the creature had been secured, raised an eyebrow. 'Mildred?'

Jack removed the last of the sensor pads attached to the zombie's forehead, and straightened up. 'Don't you think she looks like a Mildred?'

Deadpan, Ianto said, 'I'd say she's more of a Kylie.'

'In those shoes? No way!'