end of the block. People saw me well enough to walk 14
around, but that was just about it.
15
And for my part I treated everything and everyone 16
around me in the same way. I could put a name on 17
them, maybe. But I rarely touched or spoke a meaning-18
ful word to a soul. Weeks could go by and not one worth-19
while piece of information would pass between me 20
and another human being. The only chance I had at inti-21
macy was with Clarance and Cat, but 90 percent of 22
my time with them was spent under the influence of al-23
cohol.
24
But now everything was different — half different, 25
really. Still nobody saw me. The people at Curry’s bar in 26
East Hampton, people on the street in the Harbor. Bethany S 27
and Narciss saw something that was like me — an image R 28
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Walter Mosley
1
of what I thought I wanted to be — but they had no idea 2
what was on my mind.
3
What had changed was what I saw. It was as if 4
everybody had become like a mirror, and I saw reflections 5
of what they saw instead of what it was they were trying 6
to show me or tell me. Narciss had become a mirror and 7
an echo chamber, giving me back every word uttered and 8
gesture made. And when I saw or heard something I 9
didn’t like, I had the chance to alter my behavior.
10
“No, baby,” I said. “Not at all. I want to see you. I want 11
you here. It’s just that there’s been so much on my mind, 12
and I feel so comfortable with you that I kind of sink into 13
it, if you know what I mean.”
14
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
15
But her nipples were tightening again, and I was feeling 16
the beginnings of another erection.
17
“Let’s go to bed,” I said. I could have been an actor in 18
an old black-and-white movie. An airplane ace or inter-19
national journalist, world-weary and in need of quiet love.
20
She was in the movie too, and happy with her role. Arm 21
in arm we walked back to the bed, moving together like 22
choreographed dancers. Every kiss hit its mark and every 23
