wasn’t until after that I found out you didn’t have any insurance.”
“Even if I did, where was I gonna get more books? Where was I gonna have a new store if the one I had burned down?”
“He used to send my momma groceries when she was sick,” Wally said. “He said it was all gonna be okay. Just take the money. Take it please.”
I slapped him again.
Fearless was shaking his head.
I hit Wally with my fist, and he fell down upon his knees. The money went every which way. He crawled among the bills gathering and bleeding on them at the same time.
“Why you think I’m in all this shit? Huh? Why you think I’m out here riskin’ my life? It’s ’cause you burned down my store. If I’d’a come home to my place, I would’a let it drop. I would’a let Fearless outta jail and give him a place to stay till everything was okay.”
Theodore wasn’t listening. All he did was grab at the money, weeping blood.
There was an iron crowbar in the corner, next to the window. I picked it up.
“You the one messed up my life!” I yelled.
I didn’t even feel my arm rising above my head. I had no idea I was swinging the crowbar until something stopped the sweep of my arm.
“Paris,” Fearless said. His powerful grip had stayed the execution.
“What?”
“Take the money, man.”
Theodore had gathered the cash again. He clutched it in both hands. I couldn’t take it, so Fearless collected it for me.
While he was straightening out the bills I asked, “How much did you say it is?”
“Eight hundred dollars,” Wally said, “near about.”
“To burn down my life?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I bet ya he paid you more than that,” I said. “’Cause you had to pay somethin’ for them flowers and that monkey bite.”
“I got them from my girlfriend,” he said, finding some backbone. “She kiss me for nuthin’ and tried to make my house like a home.”
By then there was the ice of murder in my veins. Not murder that I wanted to commit, but the murder I had almost done. I had almost killed Theodore, and that frightened me. I never believed it when people said that they lost control, that they blacked out like Morris said and killed without volition. Until that very moment I believed that a man made his own decisions, that the excuse of passion was just a lawyer’s lie.
I WAS TOO worked up to drive, so Fearless took the wheel. He cruised down Slauson, keeping quiet while I fumed.
After a few blocks I said, “Damn. Damn.”
“He couldn’t help it, Paris. You know Antonio been good to him. He probably never even read a book.”
“What difference does that make?”
“He didn’t know what he was burnin’, man.”
“Let’s go see Milo,” I said to my friend. “Maybe he got somethin’ for us.”
“Whatever you say, Paris.”
33
MILO WAS LEANING back in his chair with his fingers laced across his belly and a smile on his lips. He wasn’t on the phone or reading. He wasn’t doing a thing. I got the feeling that he was sitting there, being smug with himself, waiting for us to arrive and hear his glad song.
“Fearless. Paris. How you’all boys doin’?”
“I hope you don’t choke on that canary you swallowed,” I said.
“It’s more like a goose, son. The goose that lays the golden egg.”
