Gentlemen Prefer Succubi

from his mind.”

“Okay. If you don’t hear back from me by morning, it’s safe to say the vampires have carried me off for their nefarious needs, and I’m somewhere in a tomb in the middle of Egypt. That should narrow it down, right?”

She paused. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be right over.”

“Sure.” I hung up the phone and sighed.

I dressed quickly in the only decent items in my closet. My underwear was a G-string and a ridiculous bra that was all sheer lace and push-up madness, but I covered them with a low-cut black T-shirt and khaki short shorts.

There was a knock at my door before I could find any shoes. “It’s open,” I called, as I dug farther into my bags. “Come on in.”

“Looking for something?” Remy asked, watching as I demolished my closet.

I turned and glared at her. “Yeah, how about a pair of shoes that don’t have a spike heel?” I held up a Prada sandal. “What am I supposed to wear to go hiking?”

She looked at me in consternation. “What on earth do you want to go hiking for?”

“Uh, the tomb? Maybe the halo? That crazy little thing we flew here to find?”

Remy sat on the edge of the bed. “Just wear some sandals. There’s like a path, right? Those shorts will look amazing with the crocodile heels I packed, now that I think about it.”

I put my head in my hands and forced myself to count to ten slowly. “Did you pack anything that doesn’t have a heel?” I repeated.

“If you must wear something unfashionable-and judging by that outfit, I see that you must-I suppose you can borrow my shoes.” She slid them off her feet and handed them to me.

They were brown leather sandals, which might have been all right, except the wedge heel rocketed up four inches. I sighed and strapped them onto my feet. They’d have to do.

She laughed. “Before you chew me out entirely, let me give you what I came over here for, before your vampire boyfriend shows up.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I protested, testing out the new shoes. I just hoped I wouldn’t break an ankle crossing a sand dune. “Noah’s my boyfriend, if anyone is.”

“Is he? Sex doesn’t make a relationship, sweetie. You need to learn that to succeed as a Suck.” She studied me, then gestured at my eyes, which were no doubt neon blue. “I see you haven’t managed to shake your Itch yet. Want me to send Stan over?”

“Absolutely not.” I headed for the bathroom, jerking my hair into a messy ponytail. At least I didn’t need makeup. “If you send Stan over here, I’ll send him back to you in pieces. Got that?”

Remy chuckled and waved something in my peripheral vision. “Suit yourself, but he’s going to start looking pretty good in a few hours, if all you’ve got is that vampire and a million strangers.”

“I’ll worry about that later.” I was worrying about it now, but I’m sure she could tell just by looking at me. The front of my T-shirt had headlights, for crying out loud, and I suspected they wouldn’t go away until the blue eyes did.

From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something shiny as Remy moved to the side. “Well, at least allow me to give you this.”

I turned and found myself looking at a gun.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Remy grinned and waved it in the air. “Know how to shoot one of these babies?”

“No. And could you please not wave it around?”

She laughed and lowered it. “Oh, you big baby. This gun can’t hurt you.”

No? “Are succubi bulletproof?”

“No, silly.” Remy flashed me a white smile. “While you can’t die from a gunshot, you can look pretty hideous for a few days. Trust me on that.” She held the gun by the barrel, extending the grip toward me. “This is a special kind of gun.”

I took it from her with distaste. It was tiny, with a teeny barrel and a pearl pink grip. Count on Remy to have a fashionable gun. “That’s great,” I said, “but I don’t think this is going to hold off a vampire. It looks like it needs to grow up first.”

She rolled her eyes. “This is a Derringer, honey. It’s small to fit under your clothes.” Remy took the gun from me and opened it, revealing the bullets inside. “It holds two shots, and you’ll want to be up close to shoot, because they don’t aim worth a damn.”

“And why do I need a gun? Especially one that I won’t be able to aim? And how did you get that through airport security?”

“I put one of the baggage check guards to sleep when you weren’t looking.” She snapped the gun shut again and pulled a holster from her purse. “We don’t have a lot of time, so the pink gun is for the vamps. Remember, pink for vamps.” She lifted up my shirt and put the gun holster around me, adjusting the Velcro straps so they slid down under my cargo shorts to just above my underwear. Well, that explained how nobody would see it.

“So what’s the gun do if it’s for vampires?”

“The bullets have been blessed by an angel. One good shot to the head should kill him. If you want to play nasty, just shoot him in the groin. It’ll incapacitate him for an hour, which should give you plenty of time to get away if you need to. But if it’s not a fatal shot, you’ll also piss him off. So be careful. Don’t use it unless you have to.”

“Okay, I got it.” I shoved the tiny pink gun into the holster. “Thanks for the protection.”

I looked up and found myself eye to eye with a bluehandled gun.

“This one is for the Serim, in case you run into any,” she said.

I took the gun with skepticism. “I don’t see why I’d need to be protected from the Serim, Remy.” If anything, I needed to be protected from the angels.

She put the gun in the empty holster at the small of my back. “They’re not on your side any more than Zane is, kiddo. Remember that both sides want that halo-and if you stand in their way, they’ll just mow you down like they do everyone else. Now, remember,” she said as she tightened the straps and I felt the gun barrel slide against my thong. “The one against your ass is for the angels, and the one against your cooch is for the pricks. Got it?”

“Got it,” I said, tugging my shirt down. It looked like I had a little junk in the trunk, but other than that, you couldn’t see the firearms. “I still don’t see why I need these. You said that our kind are worth more alive than dead to them.” That frightened whine was back in my voice.

Remy put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a comforting squeeze. “That may be, but nothing is more important than that halo for both sides. Watch yourself-that’s all I’m saying.”

“Lucky me.” I reached for my purse. “My allies and my enemies both want to kill me. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m your only real ally, I’m afraid,” she said softly. “Just remember that.”

A knock sounded at the door. Zane.

I shoved Remy into the bathroom. “Go back to your room when we leave, okay?”

She nodded at me, crossing her fingers in the “good luck” sign before closing the bathroom door.

I opened my door a crack. “Yes?”

Zane turned at the sound of my voice, extending a bouquet of white and orange lilies surrounded by baby’s breath. Surprise made my throat catch, and the smile that curved his mouth shot a pulse of desire straight to my groin.

Damn the Itch. Damn damn damn.

“Hi,” I said, trying not to sound too breathy and failing miserably. I stepped outside my room and took the flowers, surprised by the gesture. “Why flowers?”