Mysteria Nights

“Hey, you’re technically the same age as me, so back off.”

“I certainly am not; I am your elder, if not necessarily your better, and you will treat our honored guest with respect.”

Scornful made a retching sound. “Honored guest? Withering, what the Christ happened to you over there?”

“Several things,” Withering said dryly. “Watch your language. Now eat, dear one, or begone.”

“Can’t I do both?” she griped, snatching a piece and flouncing out of the room, her book of runes tucked under one arm.

“I trust you will overlook my dear sister’s rudeness. This is a difficult time for her.”

“For her?” He couldn’t believe the mature, supercool Withering was sticking up for that brat. If nothing else, being stuck in that hell dimension had sure improved her people skills. He guessed fighting for her life most days and eventually taking over as queen of all demons was almost as good as charm school. “How about for you?”

Withering shrugged, took her own piece, and chewed. “It is . . . difficult for my family. Seeing me as a grown woman after being gone—how long was I gone?”

“About five seconds our time.”

“Interesting. And yet it explains much. You can imagine their difficulty.”

“Actually, I was a lot more worried about yours.”

Withering shrugged again.

“What’s this I hear about you going back?”

“That, good sir, is none of yours and all of mine.”

Thad mulled that one over for a moment. “Listen. I normally don’t thrust myself into other people’s lives —”

She nearly choked on her pizza. “No?”

“—but I made an exception in your case. You must have missed your family all these years. Now you’re back. Why the hell would you leave again?”

Withering stared at her pizza slice, then put it down as if she had suddenly lost her appetite. “It’s complicated, good sir.”

“Thad.”

“Yes. Thad. I have many responsibilities. And it is not in me to hide in this lovely town while—while things happen that I must prevent.”

“Don’t you at least deserve a vacation?”

“Vacation?” she asked blankly.

“Or a date?”

“Date?” she asked, just as mystified.

“Do you like bowling?”

“I—I don’t quite remember what that is. Is it like hunting?”

“Sure, except with balls and pins instead of swords and slings.”

She brightened. “Then I might be good at it!”

“So. We’ll go. Tonight. Hey, if you have to go back, I respect that—and like you said, it’s none of my business.” This was a rather large lie, as he felt (unreasonably, he knew) everything about Withering was his business. Was there another woman in the world—worlds—like her? He thought not. Was he going to let her go so easily? No damned way. “But before you take off, don’t you deserve some fun?”

“I—I did not consider that.”

“So. I’ll pick you up tonight.”

“You didn’t listen,” Scornful yelled from the living room, “to a word I said, McHorny!”

Withering glanced in that direction and frowned. “Please overlook my sister’s rudeness.”

“I could care less about that sister.”

“Eh?”

“So,” he added brightly. “Pick you up at seven?”

Nine

The late Rae Camille, former roofer and current spirit, watched with interest as Jan the river guy poked around the outside of the house. First he’d knocked on the front door for a good five minutes, but he was shit out of luck. Charlene had taken her smelly baby to a playdate with another drooling, incontinent infant and wouldn’t be back until three. And Char’s werewolf husband was visiting the Cape on Pack business.

Now he was futzing around in the back garden, and now he was trying the back door. What the hell? Was he some sort of river-nymph thief guy? Yeek.

Now he was—was he? Yes! He was actually kicking the back door with his long, squishy, pale feet. In fact, he looked a great deal like her old friend Pot, Jan’s queen: ridiculously tall and too thin.

She could see the skull beneath his face, see the bones stretching through all the limbs. His hair was a sort of greenish blond, like he spent too much time in a chlorinated pool (which, for all she knew, he did). And his eyes were a pale, swimmy green, like a summer pond filled with algae. His eyebrows and lashes were so pale, they actually seemed to disappear. His fingers and toes were weirdly long; his voice low and bubbling, like he was always speaking through water. It should have been creepy, but it was sort of—what? Interesting? Yeah. Even soothing.

“Rae?” he called in that odd, bubbling voice. “Rae? May I enter?”

He was here to see her? Yeesh, when was the last time that happened?

She made the back door unlock itself, and in he came.

“Hello, Rae,” he burbled cheerfully.

“Hello yourself, you big, wet weirdo. What’s on your squishy mind today?”

“You,” he said baldly.

She laughed, the sound echoing throughout the empty (well, not anymore) house. “Then you got problems, squishy.”

“Perhaps. How may you be released?”

“Eh?”

He was pacing in the kitchen, every step a squish. Charlene was going to freak when she saw the mess. “Released. Freed from this prison of a house.”

“Hey, this prison has a fixed mortgage rate of six point nine. Not to mention authentic hardwood floors and all the original woodwork. And, if I do say so myself, the place runs like a frickin’ top.”

“But your immortal soul is trapped on this plane. We must release you.”

“‘We,’ huh? Why all the weird, creepy concern, Jan, Jan, the river man?”

“I have never met anyone like you before,” he said simply. “It distresses me to think of your imprisonment.”

“Imprisonment!” she hooted. “Ho-ho! Let me explain something about the afterlife to you, chumly. It’s all about free will. Sure, you see the bright light and all, you see Grandma and your dog Ralph—”

“I never had a dog named—”

“—you feel like reaching out to it and being warm forever and ever. But you don’t have to go. Especially if you feel bad because you left the house a mess.”

“Left the house a—?”

“Stop interrupting, squishy! So, like I said. You don’t have to follow the light. Especially if you like the town you’ve been in and want to find out—oh, I dunno. It’s like walking out in the middle of a great movie. You feel cheated. You want to see how it ends.”

“And have you seen how it ends, Rae?”