Motherhood Is Murder

?Now, see! Sweet-talk like that will get you everywhere. I mean nowhere,? he corrected, shaking a finger at me, but with his disarming grin lighting up his face. ?What I?m thinking is I can hire a PI, but they?d have to run around and do the same work you just did. So, I?d be behind the curve??

?Isn?t what you?re proposing a conflict of interest?? I asked.

?Whose interest??

?My client?s. Sort of breach of confidentiality.?

Gary frowned. ?You?re not bound to confidentiality. Unless, of course, you bound yourself in your own contract. Which I hope you didn?t. Because it wouldn?t stand up in a court of law and you?d just be misleading your client. You should let me review that for you. Anyway, as you know under the Business and Professions Code, Article 6, Disciplinary Proceedings, Sections 7561-7567, you are free to report illegal activity as you see fit or risk suspension of your license, fees, jail time, you name it?whatever the Review Board decides.?

All right, so I didn?t have to worry about confidentiality, but how could I tell him I had no worries about a license suspension either?

?Why don?t you tell me exactly what you?re proposing?? I asked.

?Simple, you work for me. I?ll double your hourly rate. Or are you working on a project basis??

?Hourly.?

?Great. Hourly. I?ll double your rate. You can continue to work independently, so keep your contract with Margaret, I don?t care about that. But let me know everything you find out. I mean everything. I?d like a daily report. Doable??

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Unstable

To Do:

1. Stake out Celia.

2. Build up milk supply.

3. Buy Laurie swing contraption thing (like baby Amanda) for two-month milestone.

4. Research safety re: computers in nursery.

5. Look up Business and Professions Code, Article 6.

?He wants you to work for him?? Paula asked.

?I don?t know if I can do that, though, ethically, you know?? I was seated at her dining room table nursing Laurie.

Paula had swaddled Laurie in a special swaddling blanket with Velcro closures on the sides and around her belly. When I complained and told her Laurie had outgrown the swaddle, she?d pooh-poohed me and told me that babies slept much better swaddled. I could hardly argue as apparently Laurie had been sacked out since I?d left.

I rubbed Laurie?s cheek and secretly thought the swaddle looked like a straitjacket. ?I?ll break you out of it as soon as we leave, Sugarplum,? I whispered in her ear. ?I?m an expert in breaking out of Velcro.?

Paula was working furiously on a scrapbook of Danny?s first year, and Danny was running back and forth between the dining room and his bedroom bringing us Lego pieces, one at a time.

Each time Danny returned from his room, he?d hand me a piece saying, ? ?Go piece.?

I?d say, ?Yes! Lego piece,? then oohed and aahed as he attached the piece to the tower he was building.

Paula gave me a dismissive wave. ?Come on, Kate. You know I?m the last person you should be discussing ethics with. Take the money! Of course you should work for him.?

?But that would be double billing or something like that.?

Paula laughed. ?Well, duh. That?s the beauty of it.?

I sighed and helped Danny connect a piece to the tower. He yelped with happiness and then charged back to his room.

Paula scrunched her face. ?I promised myself I would finish this darn book before the baby came. I can?t have Danny?s first year looming over me when I have the other one?s first year to capture. But I swear I hate this scrapbooking.?

?You do? But you?re so good at it.?

?Why would you think I?m good at it? I never do it.?

I looked around the table. She had neatly arranged the photos in one stack, stickers in another stack, and colored paper in a third stack. ?Well, look at all the organization and care you?ve put into it.?

?It?s all a facade,? Paula said.

I laughed. Danny zoomed back into the room and handed me a Lego piece. ?Danny?s good at building?why don?t you let him put it all together??

Paula sighed. ?The end result would probably be the same.?

At home, I fussed with dinner. On the drive from Paula?s I thought I?d had a wonderful time-saving idea. Crock pot cooking! Just throw all the ingredients into a pot and voilr?dinner!

When I got home, I realized that would mean I actually had to have the ingredients on hand, not to mention the six-or seven-hour lead time for cooking.

While inventorying the fridge, I grabbed a piece of cheese and popped it into my mouth. Then, I looked in the cupboard for some crackers.