Motherhood Is Murder

?What! I?ve been gone five hours. Haven?t you fed her??

Jim looked dumbstruck. ?That long? Hmmm.? He glanced around the room looking for an answer.

?Well? Did you feed her??

?No,? he admitted.

?Jim, she won?t sleep at all tonight.? I rushed to Laurie?s bouncy chair and pulled her out of it. She startled for a moment, then resumed sleeping.

Jim stared at me. ?Really? Are you sure you?re supposed to wake her? If she was hungry, wouldn?t she wake up on her own??

I shrugged. Nothing seemed to work. If I let her sleep through the day, she would be awake all night.

But then wouldn?t she be awake all night anyway?

I tried to nurse her but she stayed snoozing. I couldn?t stand it any longer. I pulled out the dreaded breast pump and finally felt some relief. Six ounces later I was exhausted.

As soon as I cleaned the pump, capped the bottles, and placed them in the fridge, Laurie woke up screaming and howling.

Great. Just great!

Now I was empty and would have to use the milk I had just pumped. There was no winning.

Before going to bed, I researched fentanyl online. It came in transdermal patches and candy form and was primarily prescribed to terminally ill cancer patients.

Hadn?t Bruce told me his grandmother had passed away a few weeks ago from cancer?

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Reward

To Do:

1. It?s hopeless?if the police can?t do it, what makes me think I can?

2. Where is Margaret??Who cares? If she doesn?t want to call me back, then forget it. Maybe she?s in Mexico getting away with murder.

3. ?

4. Order turkey?Oh, yeah, holiday, festive, joy, joy, joy.

5. ?

6. ?

7. Buy new pajamas.

I sulked around the store and found what I was looking for in the back. I rummaged through the pajamas in the bin and picked up a teal pair with pink flamingos. I held them up for Laurie to view.

She was nestled in her stroller looking contented.

?What do you think of this set, lemon blossom??

Laurie?s eyes shifted to the hanging purple puppy strapped to the side of her stroller. I pinched the puppy?s ear and recorded myself asking in a booming voice, ?Do you like the pajamas??

Laurie pedaled her feet but kept a serious expression on her face.

?Hmmm, you don?t like them?? I returned the teal pair and moved a few other sets out of the way. At the bottom of the stack I found a fuzzy pair with fuchsia lips all over. ?Well, I?m not even going to ask you. I like these.?

I pulled the puppy off the stroller and recorded myself saying, ?I?m buying them.?

I placed the puppy near Laurie?s ear and replayed it for her. She smiled and cooed at my voice then tried to eat the puppy.

I poked around looking for my size as my cell phone rang. I rummaged past the baby paraphernalia in the diaper bag and pulled out my phone. The caller ID read Paula?s number.

?Hi,? I mumbled.

?What?s wrong?? she asked, alarm in her voice.

?Nothing. Just shopping.?

?For what?? she asked suspicious.

?PJs.?

?For you or for Laurie??

I sighed. ?Me.?

?No! Not pajamas! How many pairs have you bought??

?None yet.?

?Where are you?? she asked.

?At Bed Head and More.?

?Drop the PJs and step away from the counter right now!?