“Susan call me,” Hawk said. “She say she can’t call you. But she in trouble. She say she gotten involved with this dude Costigan and he a bad man.”
There was nothing on the road before us. The Skylark started to creep up past sixty. Hawk slowed to under fifty-five.
“She say she want to leave him but she think maybe she can’t. She say she too involved to leave on her own.”
“Involved how,” I said.
“She didn’t say. She sounded real tight. So I say, I come right out in the morning, and if she want to leave I take her with me. And if anyone bother her, I tell them to stop. And she tell me come to her condo, which is down here in Mill River, and she give me the address, fifteen Los Alimos. Unit number sixteen. And she say, she don’t know if she want to leave, but she needs to talk with me and if she want to leave, she need to be able to.”
We had reached 101. Hawk turned north, toward San Francisco.
CHAPTER 5
IT WAS A CLEAR NIGHT, A LOT OF STARS, THE moon about three-quarters full. The land loomed higher in a dark mass of low hills to my left, and tabled away flat toward the bay on my right. There was nothing on the highway.
“So you went out,” I said.
“Course.”
“Without telling me anything.”
“Yes.”
The wheels made a little hum on the asphalt and now and then when we hit a seam there was a harumph.
“I wouldn’t have told you either,” I said.
“I know,” Hawk said.
On the other side of the highway a big produce truck went by, heading south toward Salinas.
“So I got here and rented a car and drove on down to Mill River like she say. And Susan’s there.”
“How’d she look,” I said.
“She looking terrific, except she looking real tired and she tense, like she frantic but she don’t want anyone to know it, including her.”
“How’d she sound?” I said.
“Same way,” Hawk said. “Got a bow, you could play `Intermezzo‘ on her.”
I blew out some breath.
Hawk said, “Told you this wouldn’t be easy.” I nodded.
Hawk said, “So we have some coffee, she got some new French roast, and she put out some little sesame cookies, and all. Like she playing house and she tell me she met this guy Costigan in Georgetown last year, when she in Washington doing intern. And she took up with him and he say he can get her a job at a clinic out here.”
“In Mill River?”
“Yeah,” Hawk said, “Costigan Hospital.”
“Family business,” I said.
Hawk said, “One of them.”
There were unattractive shacks along the way that sold artichokes and strawberries and things. The headlights picked up the ugly hand-lettered signs in front of them.
“So Susan having her troubles with you and all, she decide she going to come out. And she really like Costigan, she say. But she don’t want to let go of you. So she talk to you on the phone and you write her letters and you talk and she hanging on to you but she staying close to Costigan too.”
A green sign loomed up on the right shoulder of the highway. The headlights brightened the reflective lettering for a moment. It said, SAN MATEO BRIDGE, 5 MILES.
“And Costigan, he getting edgy. He wanting to move in, and she saying no. And he saying, `how come you don’t dump this stiff from Boston,‘ and Susan saying, ’‘cause I love him,’ and Costigan saying, `how come you love him and me too,‘ and Susan saying, `I don’t know,’ and they having a nice time like that.”
“I know some of this,” I said.
“So she can’t go back to you and leave Costigan; but she can’t give you up and move in with him. She say to herself, I believe I am fucked up, and she go see a shrink.”
Hawk’s voice was soft and pleasant as he talked, telling the story as if he were talking about Br’er Rabbit and the briar patch.
“I say to her, ‘Susan, you a shrink,’ and she say, `I know‘ and shake her head. Anyway,” Hawk said, “she talk to this shrink… ”
“She mention the shrink’s name?” I said.
“No,” Hawk said. “And the shrink help her see that maybe she got some problems. And she begin to pull back a little and Costigan not liking that and he begin hanging around even when she ask him not to, and he come into her apartment, he got a key, even when she say she need to be alone and try to work this out. And she say if he don’t
