I haven't thought about anything else. I got to.'
The flush left Gerry's face. It became suddenly very pale, and his voice pitched up a notch.
'What? You got to what?'
'One of these days I'm going to die and the thing will be yours. The whole fucking thing.'
Gerry was frozen, staring at his father. I could have been in Eugene,
Oregon, for all I mattered right then.
'And when you get it you got to be able to take care of it or they'll bite you in two, you unnerstand, like a fucking chum fish, they'll swallow you.'
Gerry seemed to lean backwards. He opened his mouth and closed it and opened it again and said, 'Vinnie…'
'I wish you was like Vinnie,' Joe said. 'But you don't take care of this thing by having a guy do it for you. Vinnie can't be tough for you.'
'You think I need Vinnie? You think Vinnie has to take care of me? Fuck
Vinnie. I'm sick of Vinnie. Who's your son anyway, for crissake? Fucking
Vinnie? Is he your son? Whyn't you leave the fucking thing to him, he's so great?'
'Because he's not my son,' Joe said.
All of us were still. Outside, there was the sound of traffic on Berkeley
Street, dimmed by distance and walls. Inside my office the silence swelled.
Finally Gerry spoke. His voice was small and flat. 'What do you want me to do?'
'I want you to deal with him,' Joe said and tilted his head toward me.
'I been telling you that,' Gerry said. 'I been saying that Vinnie-'
'No,' Joe said. 'Not Vinnie. You. You got to deal with Spenser. You run our thing and there will be people worse to deal with than him. You got to be able to do it, not have it done. You think I started out with Vinnie?'
'You had Phil,' Gerry said.
'Before Phil, before anybody, there was me. Me. And after me there's got to be you. Not Vinnie, not four guys from Providence. You.'
'You want me to take him out,' Gerry said. 'You're telling me that right in front of him.'
'Right in front,' Joe said. 'So he knows. So there's no back-shooting and sneaking around. You tell him he's gone and then you take him out.'
'Right now?' Gerry's voice was barely audible.
'Now you tell him. You take him out when you're ready to.'
'Joe,' I said.
They both turned and stared at me as if I'd been eavesdropping.
'He can't,' I said. 'He's not good enough. You'll get him killed.'
Joe was looking sort of up at me with his chin lowered. He shook his head as if there was something buzzing in his ears.
'They'll take everything away from him,' Joe said.
'He could find other work,' I said.
Joe shook his head.
'I don't want to kill him, Joe,' I said.
'You motherfucker,' Gerry said. His voice cracked a little as it went up. 'You won't kill me. I'll fucking kill you, you fuck.'
'Talks good, too,' I said to Joe.
'You heard him,' Joe said. 'Be looking for him. Not Vinnie, not me, Gerry.
You heard him.'
'Goddamn it, Joe,' I said. 'Let him up. He's not good enough.'
'You heard him,' Joe said and turned on his heel and went out of the room.
Gerry and I looked at each other for a silent pause, then Gerry turned on his heel, just like his poppa, and went out. Nobody shut the door.
I sat for a while and looked at the open door and the empty corridor. I looked at the S W.357 in the open drawer by my right hand. I closed the drawer, got up, and closed the door. Then I went back and sat down and swiveled my chair and looked out the window for a while.
Spenser, rite of passage.
CHAPTER 33
PAUL and I were drinking beer at the counter in my kitchen. It was late.
