I nodded. I had a tall scotch and soda working and I drank some of it.
“Hawk thinks I’m identifying.”
“He’s spoken of it?”
“Not really,” I said. “But it’s what he thinks.”
“And he’s probably worried about it for the same reason I am,” Susan said.
“Which is?”
“That you don’t have enough distance on it,” Susan said.
“And it will get you killed.”
“What I do entails a certain amount of that,” I said. “We both know it. And we both move on. Nobody’s killed me yet.”
“You’ve set yourself up with Alderson,” Susan said.
“He won’t try to kill me. He doesn’t know where the tape is.”
“If he doesn’t do something,” Susan said, “your trap won’t work.”
“He’ll do something,” I said.
“What?”
“I don’t know. When I boxed I was a counterpunch.”
“So readiness is all,” Susan said.
“Yes.”
We were quiet for a moment.
“He might try to use you as leverage on me,” I said.
“I need to do my work,” Susan said. “I can’t go somewhere and hide.”
“We’ll protect you,” I said.
“I know.”
“Hawk mostly,” I said. “I don’t want to draw them to you.”
“Hawk will do,” she said.
“He often does,” I said. “I’m sorry this impinges on you.”
She smiled at me.
“It’s happened before,” she said. “Goes with the job description.”
“Which is?”
“Main Squeeze,” she said. “And what about the matter of identifying with Doherty?”
The timer sounded. I poured the pasta and vegetables into a colander and let them drain for a moment.
“I know about the time you were with another man,” I said.
“And I know we’re together now.”
Susan nodded.
I put the pasta and vegetables in a bowl, added the toasted crumbs, pignolias, and some grated cheese. I tossed it all with a splash of olive oil. Susan watched me silently. I stopped tossing the pasta and put the spoons down and looked at her. She put her hand on top of mine where it rested on the counter.
“That’s all I need to know,” I said.
29.
He gonna find out who you are,” Hawk said, “by now.”
“Probably,” I said.
“So he gonna fi gure out that you might be baiting him.”
“But he can’t be sure. Not all of us are equally honest,” I said.
“He might fi nd out that you are,” Hawk said.
“Either way,” I said, “he’s going to have to do something.”
“He could disappear,” Hawk said. “Start over someplace else. New identity. Not so hard to do, you know a couple people.”
“Feds are all over him,” I said. “I doubt that he’ll disappear.”
“Feds ain’t that good,” Hawk said.
“Epstein is,” I said. “And this is one of their own.”
