“It doesn’t hurt,” she said.
“No.”
“It did,” she said.
“True.”
“But now it doesn’t.”
“Are we getting metaphorical?” I said.
She smiled again and nodded.
“Yes,” she said.
“This, what we have,” I said, “is an earned relationship. Of course there would be scars.”
“And the time when we were separated? When I was with somebody else?”
“That’s a big scar,” I said. “But it’s also when we both did the most to earn what we’ve got.”
“You truly know that?” she said.
“I do. I’ve never liked it much, but I know what we got from it.”
She continued to trace the scar on my chest. Then she looked at me again. Her eyes were luminous.
“No pain, no gain,” she said.
59.
'You got enough,” Hawk said. “You give what you got to Epstein and he can run Bradley Turner down. They good at big searches.”
“I know,” I said.
Susan was working. We were in the spare room. Chollo was asleep on the couch. Vinnie was listening to his iPod and doing something with the trigger sear of a Rugar brush gun. Hawk and I were sipping coffee and watching Susan’s door.
“Hell, with what you got, and they work with the Cleveland cops, sooner or later, they gonna fi nd something,” Hawk said.
“Erie too,” I said.
“Uh-huh.”
“Makes sense,” I said.
“And then we can stop hanging round here, watching Vinnie clean the weapons,” Hawk said.
“I know it,” I said.
“So,” Hawk said. “You going to see Epstein today?”
“Not today,” I said.
“When?” Hawk said.
“I’m thinking about it,” I said.
Hawk nodded. Today’s snack special was raspberry turnovers in a cardboard box. Hawk stood and walked over to the table and selected a turnover from the box. He looked at me. I nodded. He selected another one and came back and handed it to me, and sat down with his. In silence we ate our turnovers and drank our coffee and looked at Susan’s door. Vinnie got the sear and trigger reassembled and flexed the trigger gently and nodded to himself and continued with the reassembly.
“Russell Costigan,” Hawk said.
“Russell Costigan,” I said.
“Guy Susan ran off with back then.”
“I know who he is,” I said.
“We both know, this about him.”
I shrugged.
“We both know you couldn’t kill him like you wanted,”
Hawk said.
“Wouldn’t have taken me where I wanted to go,” I said.
“So you sat on it,” Hawk said. “But it didn’t go away; and now here’s Doherty. Wife runs off with someone turns out to be a bad man, and this time it gets him, and her, killed.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Maybe I’m just looking for justice,” I said.
“Maybe you looking for revenge,” Hawk said.
