'I'm going to tell him that he can't speak freely in front of you?' I said.
Susan nodded.
'I might have found that bothersome,' she said.
I ate a little tuna tartare.
'You know,' I said. 'I will withhold sometimes, when I think it's in your best interest.'
She nodded.
'Yes,' she said.
'But I won't conceal from you.'
Again, she nodded.
'Yes,' she repeated. 'I understand the difference.'
'Is it the Harvard Ph.D.?' I said.
'That's more of a work permit,' Susan said. 'Most of what I know, I've learned for my patients.'
'How 'bout me?' I said.
Susan ate half a blackberry and smiled.
'You have been very helpful with my libidinous skills,' she said.
'Glad to help,' I said.
'Now that the cat is out of the bag,' Susan said, 'tell me about Stephano.'
I told her what I knew. She listened the way she did, which is to say entirely. When I finished, she was nodding slowly.
'How fascinating,' she said.
'Fascinating,' I said.
'Everything in his life seems to reward his pathology,' Susan said.
I was having some steak and eggs, trying to keep my cholesterol up. I ate some.
'Wife approves,' I said. 'Father-in-law/boss approves. Makes him a good living. He gets some variation on respect from his peers.'
'Plus whatever pleasure he achieves by acting out his sadism,' Susan said.
'Fulfilling,' I said.
We were silent for a time. Susan ate a strawberry. I had some steak. At his table, Tony Marcus was leaning forward in deep contemplation of his brunch companion.
'You cannot,' Susan said, 'let him kill you.'
'And leave you wrestling with your libidinous skills alone?' I said.
'I'd probably just abandon them,' Susan said. 'If you were gone.'
'Be a great waste,' I said, 'of some highly developed technique.'
Susan ate a blueberry. My left hand was resting on the table. She put her right hand on top of it for a moment.
'Well,' she said. 'Yes.'
52
IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON. Z and I were sparring in Henry's boxing room, and Z was holding his own. We went five three-minute rounds. Z was still breathing comfortably when we stopped and went into Henry's office for beer.
Z held the cold bottle of Blue Moon against his forehead for a moment, then took a drink.
'Stuff I haven't told you,' he said.
I drank some beer.
'Never too late,' I said.
'I had a problem ratting anybody out,' Z said.
I nodded.
'And I didn't trust you,' Z said.
I nodded again, and drank some more beer.
'Figured maybe you were helping me out,' Z said, 'because you thought I knew stuff.'
'Reasonable,' I said.
'But you never asked me anything.'
