Jefferson pushed the walker from the kitchen to the window in the family room. He pulled back the drapes and looked out. He dropped his eyes, and then the drapes, at the sight of what was once Blake and Linda Montgomery’s house. Old wounds he’d rather leave dormant tried to resurface.
He had thought very little about Linda or Blake since going to prison. He felt some responsibility for Blake’s death, although it was police Lt. Hamilton Barnes who had orchestrated his murder and was still in Central Prison paying the time for the crime. And Linda…Linda was a mistake that he would probably have to pay for the rest of his natural days on earth.
He had thought having someone new in his life would invigorate him. Linda was at the right place at the right time, ready, willing, and more than able. But in the end, Linda betrayed him because she couldn’t deal with the ghost of her dead husband. Little did Jefferson know that his brief romance with Linda would unleash a holy war against him-a war that caused people to be killed, igniting headlines with a scandal that would rock Fayetteville for years and years to come, and that would cause him to come close to losing the best thing that ever happened to him. This war eventually sent him away to prison for twenty years but, by the mercies of God, he had gotten out in five.
Looking away, Jefferson wondered where Linda had gone. A new set of neighbors inhabited the house next door-people who were unfamiliar, people who he could not boast as friends.
Jefferson looked at his watch. Margo should have been home over an hour ago. Maybe she stopped to pick something up for dinner or was showing another house to a client. He wanted her near-near enough to see her, near enough to smell her fragrance, and near enough to feel safe, believing that their lives were destined to be intertwined forever.
A twinge of reality made Jefferson slump down in the nearest chair, toppling his walker over as he did so. He had been home over a week, but he had yet to make love to Margo. Pain and guilt engulfed him, and he knew that it was going to take more than a thousand
Something was not right. Jefferson could feel it deep in his gut. Malik seemed estranged, distant, like he was trying to avoid him, and Malik’s not showing up for the welcome home party didn’t help. Jefferson simmered on that thought, letting his mind wander, pushing away thoughts that he didn’t want to entertain.
“I believe Malik has feelings for Margo,” Jefferson said out loud. He didn’t like the sound of what he said as his words vibrated against the walls. Jefferson balled his fists and struggled to stand up straight, bending over to pick up his walker while holding onto the edge of the chair. “He better not touch Margo,” Jefferson said, his nostrils flaring. “He better not touch her.”
Not sure what to do next, Jefferson walked toward the door. Maybe it was time to pay Malik a visit. Jefferson picked up his wallet and his keys from the coffee table and headed for the door. He was about to open it when he heard the key turning in the lock. He backed up before the door opened.
“Were you on your way out?” Margo asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I need some fresh air,” Jefferson lied.
“Why don’t I get you something to eat, and then we’ll take a ride? You’ve been cooped up in here all day. Sorry I was late, but I’m poised for another sell. Gotta keep the money coming in.”
Jefferson relaxed and then tensed at her statement. What was Margo trying to say-
“Margo, we need to talk.”
“What about, Jefferson?” she said hesitantly.
“Us, sweetheart, us.”
“Jefferson, you’ve got to give me some time. I know this is about us not being able to make love…”
“Whoa, Margo. Let’s not get excited. Yes, things are a little tense right now and, yes, our not being able to make love to each other is one of our problems, but I was hoping to share my feelings with you…and get an understanding of what you’re feeling.”
“What brought this on, Jefferson?” Margo asked accusingly.
“Baby, I’m not used to sitting around doing nothing. I hate that I’m not taking care of my family the way I should be, that…that you’re the one who is getting up every day, going to work, and paying the bills. I can’t go on like this.”
Margo reached out to Jefferson. “Let’s talk.” She dropped her purse on a nearby chair and helped Jefferson sit on the couch before sitting down herself. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I feel like I’m losing you,” Jefferson began. “I can’t put my finger on it, but since I’ve been home, you don’t seem to be the same person who was eager to see me.”
“I’m trying, Jefferson.”
“I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I prayed every night I was in that jail cell that, if God returned me to you, I would love, cherish, and take care of you until the day I die.” Jefferson grabbed Margo’s hand. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Please say you won’t leave me.”
Margo pulled her hand from Jefferson’s and stood up. “Why would you say that?” She sighed. “I do love you, Jefferson. I’m having a harder time than I thought possible.”
“Is there someone else?”
“Someone else?” Margo shot back, stuttering on the two words.
Jefferson looked deep into her eyes. “Yes, someone else? It’s been five lonely years, or has it?” Jefferson pinched his lips together and then sighed. “I’ve asked myself over and over again why you seemed to be turned off to me. A couple of things popped up in my mind, but the overwhelming thought is that there’s someone else.
“I know five years is a long time to wait, especially since I hadn’t been the ideal husband before I went to prison. My thoughts were only on making this right, and I thought you felt the same.”
“I do want us to be a family again. Lord knows I prayed long and hard for you to come home,” Margo said.
“Then what is it, Margo? Tell me so I can toss these negative feelings I’m having in the trash.”
Margo let out a deep sigh. She circled her waist with her arms and paced as she contemplated what to say.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet,” Jefferson said, not taking his eyes off of Margo.
Margo sat down, tension written all over her face. “I have not been with anyone, Jefferson. Had not thought about it…”
“Until recently?”
“Are you trying to put words in my mouth? I wanted you to hold me, I wanted to make love to you as soon as you came through the door, but thoughts of the past-you and Linda, you and Angelica, washed over me and I couldn’t erase the images of you being with them. You’ve got to believe me, Jefferson. I’m not as strong as I thought I would be. I…”
“Is it Malik?” Jefferson continued to stare at Margo.
“Malik? Why would you say Malik?”
“Why not, unless it’s someone else?”
“You’ve got some nerve. After all the dirt you’ve done!” Margo shouted.
“Seems like I struck a nerve,” Jefferson said calmly. “I’m only trying to understand what the rift is between us.”
Margo stood. “You have too much time on your hands, sitting around conjuring up these fictitious stories about me and Malik. I’ve been a one-man woman all the years we’ve been married, even when things were rocky. I’ve been doing a balancing act, trying to maintain a household that we had become accustomed to while you were serving time, and the weight of the world has been on my shoulders. Can you understand that, Jefferson? You changed the nature of my life, but I’ve dealt with it, so excuse me if I have some reservations when it comes to giving my whole self to you again. You’re still my husband; I’m being cautious. Can’t help it. I’ve gone through so much.”
“Maybe I should move out and uncomplicate things.”
“Don’t try reverse psychology on me, Jefferson. This is not the time. I’ve gone through too much. I’ve sacrificed a lot, and if it wasn’t for Malik, there were days that I might not have made it.”
Margo stopped and looked straight at Jefferson, who was staring back. What she was trying to conceal-any connection to Malik-had spewed out in less than two minutes.
