“It's me, ma'am. Mr Slot. This is my tavern.”
The witches pushed the bed aside and Granny opened the door a fraction.
“Yes?” she said suspiciously.
“Er… the coachman said you were… witches?”
“Yes?”
“Maybe you could… help us?”
“What's wrong?”
“It's my boy…”
Granny opened the door further and saw the woman standing behind Mr Slot. One look at her face was enough. There was a bundle in her arms.
Granny stepped back. “Bring him in and let me have a look at him.”
She took the baby from the woman, sat down on the room's one chair, and pulled back the blanket. Nanny Ogg peered over her shoulder.
“Hmm,” said Granny, after awhile. She glanced at Nanny, who gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head.
“There's a curse on this house, that's what it is,” said Slot. “My best cow's been taken mortally sick, too.”
“Oh? You have a cowshed?” said Granny. “Very good place for a sickroom, a cowshed. It's the warmth. You better show me where it is.”
“You want to take the boy down there?”
“Right now.”
The man looked at his wife, and shrugged. “Well, I'm sure you know your business best,” he said. “It's this way.”
He led the witches down some back stairs and across a yard and into the foetid sweet air of the byre. A cow was stretched out on the straw. It rolled an eye madly as?they entered, and tried to moo.
Granny took in the scene and stood looking thoughtful for a moment.
Then she said, “This will do.”
“What do you need?” said Slot.
“Just peace and quiet.”
The man scratched his head. “I thought you did a chant or made up some potion or something,” he said.
“Sometimes.”
“I mean, I know where there's a toad…”
“All I shall require is a candle,” said Granny. “A new one, for preference.”
“That's all?”
“Yes.”
Mr Slot looked a little put out. Despite his distraction, something about his manner suggested that Granny Weatherwax was possibly not that much of a witch if she didn't want a toad.
“And some matches,” said Granny, noting this. “A pack of cards might be useful, too.”
“And I'll need three cold lamb chops and exactly two pints of beer,” said Nanny Ogg.
The man nodded. This didn't sound too toad?like, but it was better than nothing.
“What'd you ask for that for?” hissed Granny, as the man bustled off. “Can't imagine what good those'd do! Anyway, you already had a big dinner.”
“Well, I'm always prepared to go that extra meal. You won't want me around and I'll get bored,” said Nanny.
“Did I say I didn't want you around?”
“Well… even I can see that boy is in a coma, and the cow has the Red Bugge if I'm any judge. That's bad, too. So I reckon you're planning some… direct action.”
Granny shrugged.
“Time like that, a witch needs to be alone,” said Nanny. “But you just mind what you're doing, Esme Weatherwax.”
The child was brought down in a blanket and made as comfortable as possible. The man followed behind his wife with a tray.
“Mrs Ogg will do her necessary procedures with the tray in her room,” said Granny haughtily. “You just leave me in here tonight. And no one is to come in, right? No matter what.”
The mother gave a worried curtsey. “But I thought I might look in about midn—”
“No one. Now, off you go.”
When they'd been gently but firmly ushered out, Nanny Ogg stuck her head around the door. “What
“You've sat up with the dyin' often enough, Gytha.”
“Oh, yes, it's…” Nanny's face fell. “Oh, Esme… you're not going to…”
“Enjoy your supper, Gytha.”
Granny closed the door.
She spent some time arranging boxes and barrels so that she had a crude table and something to sit on. The air was warm and smelled of bovine flatulence. Periodically she checked the health of both patients, although there was little enough to check.
In the distance the sounds of the inn gradually subsided. The last one was the clink of the innkeeper's keys as he locked the doors. Granny heard him walk across to the cowshed door and hesitate. Then he went away, and began to climb the stairs.
She waited a little longer and then lit the candle. Its cheery flame gave the place a warm and comforting glow.
On the plank table she laid out the cards and attempted to play Patience, a game she'd never been able to master.
The candle burned down. She pushed the cards away, and sat watching the flame.
After some immeasurable piece of time the flame flickered. It would have passed unnoticed by anyone who hadn't been concentrating on it for some while.
She took a deep breath and–
“Good morning,” said Granny Weatherwax.
GOOD MORNING, said a voice by her ear.
Nanny Ogg had long ago polished off the chops and the beer, but she hadn't got into bed. She lay on it, fully clothed, with her arms behind her head, staring at the dark ceiling.
After a while there was a scratching on the shutters. She got up and opened them.
A huge figure leapt into the room. For a moment the moonlight lit a glistening torso and a mane of black hair. Then the creature dived under the bed.
“Oh, deary deary me,” said Nanny.
She waited for a while, and then fished a chop bone off her tray. There was still a bit of meat on it. She lowered it towards the floor.
A hand shot out and grabbed it.
Nanny sat back.
“Poor little man,” she said.
It was only on the subject of Greebo that Nanny's otherwise keen sense of reality found itself all twisted. To Nanny Ogg he was merely a larger version of the little fluffy kitten he had once been. To everyone else he was a scarred ball of inventive malignancy.
But now he had to deal with a problem seldom encountered by cats. The witches had, a year ago, turned him into a human, for reasons that had seemed quite necessary at the time. It had taken a lot of effort, and his morphogenic field had reasserted itself after a few hours, much to everyone's relief.
But magic is never as simple as people think. It has to obey certain universal laws. And one is that, no matter how hard a thing is to do, once it has been done it'll become a whole lot easier and will therefore be done a lot. A
