Maskerade

some length. There was a minor upset when a member of the chorus was almost brained by a sandbag dislodged from a gantry by the stage?hands stationed there to prevent accidents.

There was more applause at the end. Christine got most of it.

And then the curtains closed.

And opened and closed a few times as Christine took her bows.

Agnes felt perhaps she took one more bow than the applause really justified. Perdita, looking out through her eyes, said: of course she did.

And then they closed the curtains for the last time.

The audience went home.

From the wings, and up in the flies, the stagehands whistled their commands. Parts of the world vanished into the aerial darkness. Someone went round and put out most of the lights. Rising like a birthday cake, the chandelier was winched into its loft so that the candles could be snuffed. Then there were the footsteps of the men leaving the loft…

Within twenty minutes of the last handclap of applause the auditorium was empty and dark, except for just a few lights.

There was the clank of a bucket.

Walter Plinge walked on to the stage, if such a word could be employed for his mode of progress.

He moved like a puppet on elastic strings, so that it seemed only coincidentally that his feet touched the ground.

Very slowly, and very conscientiously, he began to mop the stage.

After a few minutes a shadow detached itself from the curtains and walked over to him. Walter looked down.

“Hello Mister Pussy Cat,” he said.

Greebo rubbed against his legs. Cats have an instinct for anyone daft enough to give them food, and Walter certainly was well qualified.

“I shall go and find you some milk shall I Mister Cat?”

Greebo purred like a thunderstorm.

Walking his strange walk, advancing only by averages, Walter disappeared into the wings.

There were two dark figures sitting in the balcony.

“Sad,” said Nanny.

“He's got a good job in the warm and his mother keeps an eye on him,” said Granny. “A lot of people fare worse.”

“Not a big future for him, though,” said Nanny. “Not when you think about it.”

“There was a couple of cold potatoes and half a herring for their supper,” said Granny. “Hardly a stick of furniture, too.”

“Shame.”

“Mind you, she's a little bit richer now,” Granny conceded. “Especially if she sells all those knives and boots,” she added to herself.

“It's a cruel world for old ladies,” said Nanny, matriarch of a vast extended tribe and undisputed tyrant of half the Ramtops.

“Especially one as terrified as Mrs Plinge,” said Granny.

“Well, I'd be frightened too, if I was old and had Walter to think about.”

“I ain't talking about that, Gytha. I know about fear.”

“That's true,” said Nanny. “Most of the people you meet are full of fear.”

“Mrs Plinge is living in fear,” said Granny, appearing not to hear this. “Her mind is flat with it. She can't hardly think for the terror. I could feel it coming off of her like mist.”

“Why? Because of the Ghost?”

“I don't know yet. Not all of it, anyway. But I will find out.”

Nanny fished in the recesses of her clothing.

“Fancy a drink?” she said. There was a muffled clink from somewhere in her petticoats. “I got champagne, brandy and port. Also some nibbles and biscuits.”

“Gytha Ogg, I believe you are a thief,” said Granny.

“I ain't!” said Nanny, and added, with that grasp of advanced morality that comes naturally to a witch: “Just because I occasionally technic'ly steal something, that doesn't make me a thief. I don't think thief.”

“Let's get back to Mrs Palm's.”

“All right,” said Nanny. “But can we get something to eat first? I don't mind the cooking, but the grub there is a bit of an all?day breakfast, if you know what I mean…”

There was a sound from the stage as they stood up. Walter had returned, followed by a slightly fatter Greebo. Oblivious to the watchers, he continued to mop the stage.

“First thing tomorrow,” said Granny, “we'll go and see Mr Goatberger the Almanack man again. I've had time to think about what to do next. And then we're going to sort this out.”

She glared at the innocent figure washing the stage and said, under her breath: “What is it you know, Walter Plinge? What is it you've seen?”

“Wasn't it amazing?!” said Christine, sitting up in bed. Her nightdress, Agnes had noted, was white. And extremely lacy.

“Yes, indeed,” said Agnes.

“Five curtain calls!! Mr Bucket says that's more than anyone's ever had since Dame Gigli!! I'm sure I won't be able to sleep for the excitement!!”

“So you just drink up that lovely hot milk drink I've done for us,” said Agnes. “It took me ages to carry the saucepan up those stairs.”

“And the flowers!!” said Christine, ignoring the mug Agnes had placed beside her. “They started arriving right after the performance, Mr Bucket said!! He said—”

There was a soft knock at the door.

Christine adjusted her dress.

“Come!!”

The door opened and Walter Plinge shuffled in, hidden under the bouquets of flowers.

After a few steps he stumbled on his own feet, plunged forward, and dropped them. Then he stared at the two girls in mute embarrassment, turned suddenly, and walked into the door.

Christine giggled.

“Sorry mu?miss,” said Walter.

“Thank you, Walter,” said Agnes.

The door closed.

“Isn't he strange?! Have you seen the way he stares at me?! Do you think you could find some water for these, Perdita?!”

“Certainly, Christine. It's only seven flights of stairs.”

“And as a reward I shall drink this lovely drink you have made for me!! Has it got spices in it?”

“Oh, yes. Spices,” said Agnes.

“It's not like one of those potions your witches cook up, is it?!”

“Er, no,” said Agnes. After all, everyone in Lancre used fresh herbs. “Er… there's not going to be anything like enough vases for them all, even if I use the guzunder…”

“The what?!”

“The… you know. It's goes?under… the bed. Guzunder.”

“You're so funny!!”

“There won't be, anyway,” said Agnes, blushing hotly. Behind her eyes, Perdita committed murder.

“Then put in all the ones from the earls and knights and I shall see to the others tomorrow!” said Christine, picking up the drink.