there was a pistol involved in the break-in, we’re for it. They’ll seal off the entire valley and send in the paramilitaries. And as I remember the map, there are only three ways out of here. And they’re as good as covering the two main ones already.’
49
‘I’m pretty certain nobody’s been following us.’ Sabir squinted ahead, trying to make out the road signs.
They were beyond the main danger area now, on the Route National 20, with considerably more traffic on the road to disguise their passage. The relief in the car was palpable, as if, through luck and sheer good timing, they had succeeded in avoiding a particularly nasty accident.
‘How is he?’
Yola shrugged. ‘I don’t think his jaw is broken. Some of his ribs are definitely cracked, though. Now he’ll have the perfect excuse for being idle.’
Alexi looked as though he were about to sass her back, but then he unexpectedly changed tack and punched at his trouser pocket. ‘Ha! Do you believe this? I had it right in here.’
‘What?’
‘The wallet.’ Alexi shook his head disconsolately. ‘That bloody thief bastard stole back his own wallet. And it was stuffed with cash. I could have lived like a King. Even bought myself some gold teeth.’
Sabir laughed. ‘Don’t knock it, Alexi. The fact that he was worried we might find out his identity probably saved your life. If he hadn’t gone searching for his wallet, he would have had ample time to kill you before we came in.’
Alexi’s attention had moved on. He raised his head from the seat and flashed his remaining teeth at Yola. ‘Hey, nurse. I heard what you said about being idle. It’s not just my ribs, you know. He kicked me in the balls, too.’
Yola extended the gap between them on the rear seat. ‘You can deal with those yourself. I don’t want to go anywhere near them.’
‘You hear that, gadje? This woman is frigid. No wonder no one has ever offered to kidnap her.’
Yola drew up her knees as if in self-defence. ‘Don’t flatter yourself. Now that you’ve been damaged in the balls, you’ll make a useless kidnapper to someone too. You’ll probably be impotent. They’ll be forced to go elsewhere if they want their eyes taken out. Or use a cucumber.’
‘That’s not true!’ Alexi reached forwards, grunting and tapped Sabir on the shoulder. ‘That’s not true, is it, Adam? That if you get kicked in the balls you’ll go impotent?’
‘How should I know? It could be, I suppose. You’ll know in a few days, either way.’ Sabir turned to Yola. ‘Yola, what did you mean by ‘if they want their eyes taken out’?’
Yola dropped her gaze. She glanced out of the car window. Silence descended on the three of them.
‘Oh, yeah. I get it. Sorry.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Look, want to say something to the two of you. Something important.’
‘We haven’t eaten yet.’
‘What?’
‘Never say something important when you are hungry or in pain. The hunger and pain speak instead of you and what you say is of no value.’
Sabir let out a sigh – he knew when he was beaten. ‘I’ll stop at a restaurant, then.’
‘A restaurant?’
‘Yes. And we’d better set about finding a hotel.’
Yola started laughing. Alexi began to join in, but stopped very quickly when he realised how much it cost him in rib and jaw pain.
‘No, Adam. We’ll sleep in the car tonight, as it’s too late to arrive anywhere without causing questions to be asked. Then tomorrow, first thing in the morning, we’ll drive to Gourdon.’
‘Why would we want to go there?’
‘There’s a permanent campsite. We can get food. Somewhere proper to sleep. I have cousins there.’
‘More cousins?’
‘Don’t scoff, Adam. Now that you are my phral, they will be your cousins too.’
50
Captain Joris Calque did not approve of television at breakfast. In fact he didn’t approve of television per se. But the patronne of the chambre d’hote in which he and Macron now found themselves appeared to think it was what was expected. She even stood behind them at the table, commenting on all the local news.
‘I suppose, being policemen, that you are always on the lookout for new crimes?’
Macron inconspicuously raised his eyes to Heaven. Calque concentrated even more intently on his banana fritters with apple mousse.
‘Nothing is sacred any more. Not even the Church.’
Calque realised that he would have to say something, or be considered rude. ‘What? Has someone stolen a church?’
‘No, Monsieur. Far worse than that.’
‘Good God!’
Macron nearly achieved the nose trick with his scrambled egg. He covered it up with a coughing fit, which necessitated Madame fussing around him for a couple of minutes, dispensing coffee and hearty slaps on the back.
‘No. Not a church, Inspector.’
‘Captain.’
‘Captain. As I said. Something far worse than that. The Virgin herself.’
‘Someone stole the Virgin?’
‘No. There was heavenly intervention. The thieves were stopped in their tracks and punished. They must have been after the jewels in her and the baby Jesus’s crown. Nothing is sacred any more, Inspector. Nothing.’
‘And what Virgin was this, Madame?’
‘But it’s just been on the television.’
‘I was eating, Madame. One cannot eat and look at the same time. It is unhealthy.’
‘It was the Virgin at Rocamadour, Inspector. The Black Madonna herself.’
‘And when did this attempted theft occur?’
‘Last night. After they had locked the Sanctuary. They even used a pistol. Fortunately the gardien wrestled it from one of the men – like Jacob wrestling with the angel. And then the Virgin made her miraculous intervention and drove the robbers off.’
‘Her miraculous intervention?’ Macron had stopped with the fork halfway to his mouth. ‘Against a pistol? At Rocamadour? But, Captain…’
Calque glanced meaningfully across the table at him. ‘You are right, Madame. Nothing is sacred any more. Nothing.’
51
‘And this man pretended that he was a member of the public? He pretended to help you?’ Calque was trying to estimate the gardien ’s age, but he finally gave up at around seventy-two.
‘Oh yes, Monsieur. It was he who brought my attention to the disturbance in the Sanctuary in the first
