winged Michael with his trident over the horned devil who lay on his back in the flames. He lifted the chain, which was long so that he didn’t have to unclasp it, and he put it over his head, and let the medal drop down under his sweater.
He stared at Aaron for a moment, and then he put his arms around him, and held him close.
“Be careful, Michael. Call me very soon.”
Forty-nine
THE CEMETERY WAS closed for the night but it didn’t matter. The darkness and the cold didn’t matter. At the side gate the lock would be broken, and it would be very simple for her to push the gate back, and then shut it behind her, and move along the snow-covered path.
She was cold but that didn’t matter either. The snow was so beautiful. She wanted to see the tomb covered with snow.
“You’ll find it for me, won’t you?” she whispered. It was almost full darkness now and they would be coming soon, and she didn’t have much time.
You know where it is, Rowan, he said in that fine subtle voice inside her head.
And she did. That was true. She was standing in front of the tomb, and the wind was chilling her, passing right through her thin shirt. There were twelve neat little headstones, one for each vault, and above was the carving of the keyhole door.
“Never to die.”
That is the promise, Rowan, that is the pact that exists between you and me. We are almost at the moment of beginning …
“Never to die, but what did you promise the others? You promised them something. You’re lying.”
Oh, no, my beloved, no one matters now but you. They’re all dead.
All their bones lying underneath in the frozen blackness. And the body of Deirdre, perfect still, shot full of chemicals, cold inside the satin-lined box. Cold and dead.
“Mother.”
She can’t hear you, beautiful one, she’s gone. You and I are here.
“How can I be the doorway? Was it always meant that I would be the doorway?”
Always, my darling, and the time has almost come. One more night you’ll spend with your angel of flesh and blood, and then you’ll be mine forever. The stars are moving in the heavens. They are shifting into the perfect pattern.
“I can’t see them. All I can see is the snow falling.”
Ah, but they are there. It is the very deepest part of winter, when all that would be reborn sleeps safe in the snow.
The marble felt like ice. She put her fingers into the letters, DEIRDRE MAYFAIR. She couldn’t reach the engraving of the keyhole door.
Come now, darling, come back to the house and the warmth. It’s almost time. They’re all coming-my children, the great clan of Mayfair, all my progeny-grown rich in the warm shadow of my wing. Back to the hearth now, beloved, but tomorrow, tomorrow, you and I shall be alone in the house. And you must drive your archangel away.
“And you’ll show me how to be the doorway?”
You know, my darling. In your dreams and in your heart you’ve always known.
She walked swiftly over the snow, her feet wet, but it didn’t matter. The streets were empty and shining in the gray dusk. The snow was so light now it seemed a mirage. They’d be coming soon.
Was the tiny baby inside her cold?
Lemle had said, “There are thousands of them-millions, chucked like garbage down the drains of the world-all those tiny brains and organs lost.”
Dark and all of them coming. Essential to pretend that everything was normal. She was walking as fast as she could. Her throat burned. But the cold air felt so good to her, icing her all over, cooling the fever inside her.
And there was the house dark and waiting. She had come back in time. She had the key in her hand.
“What if I can’t get him to go tomorrow?” she whispered. She stood at the gate looking up at the empty windows. Like that first night when Carlotta had said, Come to me.
But you must make him leave. By dark tomorrow, my darling. Or I’ll kill him.
“No, you must never never do that. You mustn’t even say it. Do you hear me? Nothing must happen to him, ever. Do you hear me?”
She stood on the porch talking aloud to no one. And all around her the snow came down. Snow in paradise, pelting the frozen banana leaves, drifting past the high thick stems of bamboo. But what would paradise have been without the beauty of snow?
“You understand me, don’t you? You cannot hurt him. You absolutely cannot hurt him. Promise me. Make the pact with me. No harm comes to Michael.”
As you wish, my darling. I do love him. But he cannot come between us on the night of all nights. The stars are moving into the perfect configuration. They are my eternal witnesses, old as I am, and I would have them shine down upon me at the perfect moment. The moment of my choosing. If you would save your mortal lover from my wrath, see that he is gone from my sight.
Fifty
IT WAS TWO in the morning before they all left. He had never seen so many happy people completely oblivious to what was really going on.
But what was really going on? It was a great warm house, full of laughter and singing, with its many fires burning, and outside the snow floating down, covering the trees and the shrubbery and the paths with luminous whiteness. And why shouldn’t they all be having a wonderful time?
How they’d laughed as they slipped on the snow-covered flagstones, and crunched through the ice in the gutters. There had been enough snow even for the children to make, snowballs. In their caps and mittens they had skittered along the frozen crust that covered the lawn.
Even Aunt Viv had loved the snow. She had drunk too much sherry, and in those moments reminded him frighteningly of his mother, though Bea and Lily, who had become her dearest friends, did not seem to care.
Rowan had been perfect all evening, singing carols with them at the piano, posing for the pictures before the tree.
And this was his dream, wasn’t it, full of radiant faces and ringing voices, people who knew how to appreciate this moment-glasses clinked together in toasts, lips pressed to cheeks, and the melancholy sound of the old songs.
“So sweet of you to do this so soon after the wedding … ”
“ … All gathered like in the old days.”
“Christmas the way it ought to be.”
And they had so admired his precious ornaments, and though they had been cautioned not to, they piled their little presents beneath the tree.
There were moments when he couldn’t stand it. He’d gone upstairs to the third floor and climbed out on the roof of the north bedroom and stood near the parapet wall, looking towards downtown and the city lights. Snow on the rooftop, snow etching windowsills and gables and chimneys, and snow falling thin and beautiful, as far as he could see.
It was everything he’d ever wanted, as full and rich as the wedding, and he had never been more unhappy. It was as if that thing had its hand around his throat. He could have put his fist through a wall in his anxiety. It was
