The Gin and Chowder Club

than praying. Sarah had smiled at his description. She pictured God smiling, too, when He was included in Asa’s thoughts. She imagined that God treasured her young son’s simple and honest faith.

Now Asa naturally did what he had always done-he turned his thoughts into a prayer, knowing that God was listening. As much as I tout living the simple life, I do want to fall in love and be loved. How else can I be a poet? I know there is no way for anything more to happen with Noelle, but, damn-sorry-I just can’t stop thinking about her. No doubt I am attracted to her-she is beautiful-but she is so much more than that. She is funny and easy to talk to and she likes poetry. Why is it that the one woman I fall for is taken? And even though I know this can never happen, I let myself think about her. I am such a fool!

As Asa continued along, he noticed a family walking slowly ahead of him. A young couple, holding hands and laughing, was followed by a pair of footprints that wandered carelessly along the beach. Ahead of the couple, two small figures darted back and forth, chasing the waves and stooping to pick up stones and shells. The two figures often ran to the couple and dropped their treasures into the pail that the man was carrying, and then they raced off again in search of more treasure.

Asa suddenly realized that he was looking at his own life. Did You put this family in my path to remind me of my own childhood? To remind me of all of my parents’ efforts to teach and guide me? Could You have known that I would walk this stretch of beach on this night and struggle with these feelings? Asa had been raised to believe that there were no coincidences in life, but he was still amazed when moments like this occurred. Moments of grace, Sarah called them. Perfect timing, he thought. He smiled and stopped. He didn’t want to intrude on the family’s walk. Asa watched them disappear into the night and then turned back. Walking along on the edge of creation, he believed and trusted that he was the singular focus of God’s attention. Thank you for listening. I guess I’ll just have to keep busy and focus on finishing Nate’s house, keeping my head on straight, and then focusing on school. Perhaps, though, if You have time, You might keep an eye out for a girl like Noelle… for me…

Asa reached down to pick up his cup. As he stood, he glanced at his watch. He had no idea it had gotten so late. He slipped on his shoes, climbed up the dune, and carefully made his way back through the brush. He silently stood in the yard and looked up at the house. The party had ended. The house was dark except for the forgotten Christmas lights that twinkled on the back porch. There was a light on in an upstairs bedroom too.

For some reason, standing in the dark and looking up at the window, Asa thought of Annie. The light blinked out, and Asa walked slowly down to his truck, thankful that he had parked away from the house.

16

Noelle finished the last of the dishes as Nate dried and put them away. So often, simple tasks like this reminded him of Annie. She had always filled the sink with hot sudsy water, so the bowls would still have some bubbles on them when she put them in the dish drain. Noelle, on the other hand, allowed the hot water to run so she could give each plate a good rinse. Nate also remembered how diligent Annie had been about keeping the bird feeder filled and how much she had enjoyed watching her little troupe of chickadees, nuthatch, titmice, and woodpeckers. The cardinals, though, had been her favorite, and she had often looked out the window at dusk and said, “Mr. and Mrs. C are here for their bedtime snack.”

Noelle loved the birds, too, but the feeder sometimes hung empty and forgotten. Nate would look out and say, “Mr. C is tapping his foot, waiting for his breakfast.”

And Noelle would look out and laugh. “Well, you’d better go out and give it to him!”

Nate missed Annie deeply and found it disquieting when, in the darkness of their bedroom, he caught himself thinking of her while making love to Noelle. He knew it was unfair, and it made him feel guilty and confused. Nate loved Noelle, but he still loved Annie-he always would.

As Noelle slipped into bed, she reached up to turn off the bedside light.

“Leave it on,” Nate said.

“Why?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Just because…”

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that ‘just because’ isn’t a reason?” she teased.

“Mmmm,” Nate murmured, pulling her close. “But she forgot to tell me to watch out for the quiet ones.”

“I bet she did,” Noelle whispered huskily as Nate’s tongue lightly danced on her bare skin.

“I just want to be able to see all of you.”

“Why? Are you afraid you’ll forget who I am?” she teased.

At these words, Nate hesitated ever so briefly. It was barely a pause, but it was enough. Noelle’s heart stopped as she looked down at his face. Nate’s eyes were closed, unrevealing, and he did not reply. Noelle didn’t move or say anything more. She just lay there and allowed him to explore her body.

“I love you so very much,” he finally murmured, easing himself onto her and kissing her softly.

Noelle closed her eyes and, for the first time, did not try to shut out the thoughts of Asa that continually teased her mind. When Nate moved to her side again, she reached up to turn off the light and lay facing the wall. Nate slipped his arm around her waist and fell asleep, and as Noelle listened to the waves and to the slow, even sound of Nate’s breathing, a tear trickled silently down her cheek. In the darkness of the room full of memories, she knew that she would never be the only one he loved. She lay awake, and somewhere in the distance, she heard a truck start.

17

Sarah was waiting when Asa came in. He looked at his watch. It was 11:55. He grinned. “Made it,” he said. “Sorry to have kept you up, though.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re home. Where were you? We saw your truck when we were leaving and thought you must have gone with Isaac, but he said he hadn’t seen you.”

“Oh, I just went for a walk on the beach, and I guess I lost track of time.”

“By yourself?”

“Yup.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re home and safe,” she said. “Don’t forget about church,” she added as she headed up the stairs.

“Me? Forget about church? Never!” he teased.

“You don’t need to be fresh.”

“Okay… sorry. Good night, Mom. Love you.”

“Love you too. Good night.”

Asa sat down on the floor on the edge of Martha’s bed. She looked up at him and put her head contentedly on his lap as he stroked her velvety ears. She closed her eyes and sighed. Asa leaned back against the wall and thought about the childhood memories that had slipped into his mind that evening. Against a backdrop of blurred time, these memories were still as clear as if they had just happened. It amazed him how a simple sound or scent could trigger the memory of a moment or feeling. The ability to remember is so amazing, he thought. It’s as if certain memories have something more to tell, something more to teach, and that is why they are remembered so clearly.

In the morning, Sarah came down early and found Asa asleep next to Martha, his arm draped over her side, her head tucked neatly under his chin. She recalled how often she had found Asa, when he was little, sleeping on Martha’s bed. It had been years, however, and the sight of her grown son asleep on the dog’s bed brought a smile to her face and tears to her eyes. Martha looked up. Except for her thumping tail, she didn’t dare move.