The Gin and Chowder Club

“Thanks again, son.”

The boys looked down from the loft. “See you, Asa.”

Asa waved and walked out into the rain.

95

The librarian looked up and saw the envelope in Noelle’s hand. “I thought he would be back by now,” she began. “Would you like me to give that to him?”

Noelle looked down at the name on the envelope. Oh, Asa, where are you?

Her hands were shaking as she put the book she had tried to read back on the cart. She glanced at the envelope again. “No. Thank you, though. You needn’t even say I was here. I’ll see him soon.”

The librarian looked surprised as she studied Noelle’s pale face. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Noelle paused. “I’m sure.”

Her trembling hands slipped the envelope into the book she had brought from home to give to Asa. She slipped the book back into her bag, and then she pushed open the door and stepped outside. Rain had started to fall again, and the drops blended with the tears on her cheeks.

96

“Is your name Asa?”

Asa turned to look at the young woman who had just passed him. He studied her face and tried to place her. Her eyes were a pretty hazel, and she had a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She had the hood of her jacket up, and at first he didn’t recognize her without her glasses.

“Yes,” he answered.

“I thought so,” she began, “because I was at the library earlier, and there was someone looking for you.”

Asa looked puzzled. “Looking for me?”

“Yes, I’m quite sure. I don’t know if she’s still there, but she waited a long time. She is…” the girl paused. “What I mean is, I think she is expecting.”

Asa ran the rest of the way to the library. Mrs. Draper was locking the door as he came up the walk. “The library closes at three on Wednesdays,” she said, putting up her umbrella and walking away. On the sidewalk in front of the library, Asa stood with his hands hanging at his sides and looked up at the falling rain…

97

If I can just make it to the car… Please let me make it to the car, Noelle pleaded silently after finally arriving back in Boston. The pain deep in her belly was excruciating, and the concerned faces of passersby began to blend together. She saw her car in the parking lot where she had left it, and cradling her belly, she tried desperately to walk with some measure of normalcy. A sudden, shocking pain exploded inside of her abdomen, and she cried out as she fell forward. Nearby, a gentleman saw what was happening and rushed to catch her. Noelle collapsed onto the sidewalk and lay still, trying to focus. She looked up at the clouds and listened to the worried voices all around her. She noticed a patch of blue, the voices fading in and out. The summer sky was there all the time… the sweet summer sky. She closed her eyes and listened. The voices were quiet now, but there was another sound, faint at first… more clearly now… Yes, she was certain-a cardinal was calling…

98

Nate heard the screaming siren pierce the normal sounds of evening traffic. It seemed to draw closer, and as he walked across Dewey Square, he paused to watch the commotion. A crowd had gathered, and the siren stopped abruptly as an ambulance pulled up in front of the bus station. Nate wondered what had happened and silently said a prayer, as he always did, for whoever it was who needed help. After several minutes, the crowd parted again and the ambulance pulled away, its lights flashing across the sky, the unsettling sound of its siren fading into the night.

When Nate pulled into the driveway of the old Victorian, he wondered where Noelle could be. He opened the car door, and even before he reached the back steps, he heard the telephone in the kitchen ringing impatiently. He hurriedly opened the door to answer it, and as he did, his hands started to shake… The screaming siren, the impatient ringing, the voice on the other end all echoed through his mind.

99

The emergency room was swarming with activity as Nate frantically pressed the receptionist for information. A nursing friend of Noelle’s looked up and recognized Nate. She quickly found Noelle’s paperwork and began to explain. “They are wheeling her into surgery right now…” But all Nate heard was surgery as he ran the length of the corridor, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. A second nurse put out her arm as he rushed toward the moving gurney, but he pushed past her and reached for Noelle’s hand.

Noelle’s eyes were closed, but she opened them when she felt his touch. “Oh, Nate,” she murmured weakly, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” She seemed to drift in and out of consciousness. Nate pressed her hand to his lips as tears streamed down his cheeks. He held her hand as long as they would let him, even as the sea of worried voices threatened to drown him. She has lost too much blood… The baby is in distress… Oh, God, get her in there. I don’t know if we can save them. Sir, you must let go…

100

Asa looked up at the panes of glass and counted them again. Six across, eight up: forty- eight panes in the bottom and another forty in the top-eighty-eight panes in one set of windows; he thought of all the times he had counted these panes while sitting in the pew next to his brother, longing to be on the other side of them. He remembered how the minister had once asked them, during children’s time, to think of something for which they were thankful, and Asa had said that he was thankful that it wasn’t his job to keep all of those windows clean. The congregation had chuckled. Asa wished he could return to the innocence of that day.

They were beautiful windows, he thought, especially when the late-day sun filtered in, as it did now, causing the sanctuary to glow with an ethereal light. Isaac arrived late and slipped quietly into the pew beside him. The two boys sat a few rows behind their parents, who were seated in front with Nate. They stood for the last hymn, and Asa looked at Nate, who was bowed in sorrow, his shoulders sagging with grief. He looked at his parents standing beside Nate, bearing him up, and he looked out the window. I loved her too. I loved her, and no one