Jealousy

“It will likely be me, since you don’t have waivers yet. Damn paperwork.” Leon shrugged. “No worries. This is interesting.” As if he was watching a TV show or something, settled on the couch with a beer in hand. Though I couldn’t imagine any of them kicking back with a brew. They just seemed too . . . old. Or too serious.

Fighting vampires is serious business, yeah. But that seriousness on those unlined faces was oddly, well, obscene. It wasn’t what they were supposed to look like.

“Terrifying is more like it,” Thomas muttered. “The Red Queen.”

“Second thoughts, Tommy?” Leon’s smile couldn’t have been called nice.

The blond djamphir grinned back, a wide white showing of teeth. “Not on your life, Fritz.” A rumble ran beneath the words, almost like a werwulf’s warning growl.

Oh, hold up. “Wait. Wait a second. You guys know about her?”

“The first-years think she’s a myth. You don’t even learn of her existence until you pass your third-year boards.” George looked worried. “Before we got this job a frontline grunt like me would never even see a svetocha. Now they’re coming out of the woodwork. Even mythical ones.”

“She’s not that old; I remember when she was rescued. She doesn’t qualify as a myth.” Leon sighed. “There’s no point in sleeping more. Not with orientation and classes.”

“Orientation?” I swear to God my knees almost buckled. I was glad Graves was standing right there. “Classes?”

“Both for you, classes for us. Except Leon.” Benjamin effectively shut down further discussion by turning away. “And tomorrow, Dru, I suggest we go clothes shopping.”

I already did. But I didn’t say it. Because getting out and away from the Schola was seeming like a good idea. A fabulous idea. “Okay.”

“I’ll take you down to the cafeteria first thing.” Now Leon’s unsettling grin was directed at me. “Food and a bunch of staring eyes. Best just to get it over with, right?”

“Right,” I said grimly and shoved Graves back by the simple expedient of stepping back myself. How we did that without getting our legs tangled, I don’t know. But we managed it, and I was happy about that. “Sure. Give me fifteen.”

“You don’t need to hurry. An hour will do.”

But I was already closing the door. Graves let go of me, and after I locked everything, I turned halfway and we sized each other up.

He was blushing furiously. So was I. We stood there, crimson-cheeked, and just looked at each other.

“Graves—” I began, but he spoke at the same time.

“Dru—” His eyes were so green; ever since he got bit, they’d been getting lighter and more intense.

We both laughed. It was crazy, hysterical laughter, but that was okay. I leaned against the door, chuckling until tears squirted out my eyes. He bent over and hugged his midriff and made little ah-ah- ah sounds because he couldn’t get enough air in.

Sometimes you’ve just got to let off a little steam. Especially when you’ve been running on nerves and adrenaline for weeks.

It was over all too quickly, though. I wiped at my cheeks, he finally got some air in, and we were left where we were before, staring awkwardly at each other.

“What was that?” he finally asked, running his fingers back through his hair. It stood up in black spikes, but the effect was softer now since it was growing out. “I didn’t even hear you get up.”

“I was on the computer. Getting clothes and stuff.” Do you need a cup, dude? I swallowed the question and a stray laugh at the same time. “I, um, I guess we should talk.”

“After I brush my teeth.” But he made no move to step away. “Jesus, can’t get clothes soon enough. I’m getting sick of wearing the same thing all the time.”

I hear you. A thin spike of guilt went through me—this was twice that everything he owned got taken away because of me. “I got you some stuff. And it sounds like they’re taking us shopping tomorrow.”

“They’re taking you shopping tomorrow.” He didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Or maybe he did because right after the words left his mouth he looked faintly ashamed of them. His earring swung as he ducked his head, running his fingers through his shaggy hair.

“Us. Or I’m not going.” I folded my arms and looked at the blue carpet. “So, can I ask you something? About . . . that.”

“About what?”

What the hell did he think I was talking about? But he was a boy, and therefore oblivious. Still, I’d pretty much used up all my brass for today and was going to have to use up tomorrow’s in about an hour. So I studied the carpet like it would give me an idea. Said nothing.

He lasted about five seconds, then coughed a little. “I, uh, I mean, jeez. Did I, you know, offend or something?”

“No, no.” I shook my head. Goddammit, my cheeks were burning again. My mother’s locket was warm, and I shot a little glance up at him, just to gauge where we were.

He was looking at me like I had something on my face. I found out I had enough brass left, after all. Or maybe I could borrow some.

“I just, well, wanted to know where we stand. That’s all.” There. It was out. If I’d been misreading everything, I wanted to know.

“Oh.” Then he was quiet for so long I thought I’d scream. “I, uh. Jeez. Well.”

Screaming was definitely an option. Okay, so I had misjudged. I mean, I didn’t think you could misjudge, what with sticking your tongue in a boy’s mouth. But I guess I did. He either liked me or he didn’t, or maybe he did but I wasn’t worth the trouble, or . . .

Jesus. Swearing off guys completely was an option. It wasn’t like I’d be having a lot of time for extracurricular stuff, what with vampires trying to kill me and everything else.

But, you know, I would’ve liked to fit that in. With him. “Okay.” I headed past him for the bathroom. “Dibs on the toilet, then. Forget I asked.”

“Dru . . .” He said it like he was running out of air.

“No, really. It’s cool. I just—”

“I like you, okay? I do. It’s just . . . you’ve got all this other stuff going on. And vampires trying to take your head off the hard way.”

I swallowed, hard. “Like there’s an easy way?” But my heart swelled up like a balloon. It had been a long, long time since I’d felt anything close to this. After a few seconds I decided happy was a pale word for it. “Okay. Cool. I like you, too. We’ve pretty much established it. We’re being careful, right?” Whatever that means.

“Yeah, uh. Um.” Now he had something stuck in his throat. I was grinning like a fool. He hunched up again, like he was expecting a punch or something.

“So, yeah. I guess that’s that. Dibs on the toilet.” And I bolted for the bathroom like I was running away. I just didn’t want to laugh and give him the wrong idea.

I should’ve been more worried. But there’s only so much worry you can stand all the time. And if Graves was with me, well, I didn’t have so much to worry about, right? We’d handled everything else the Real World could throw at us. And whatever Anna was doing at my door could wait.

It was the first time in weeks the hole in my chest seemed less angry and empty. And I was really, really happy about that.

CHAPTER NINE

The entire cafeteria, full of fluorescent light and the competing aroma of boys and