'One of his dogs seems to have taken bad,' I said, glancing left again.
'Other one's a bit the worse for wear, too.'
'Terrible shame.'
Her face broke into a smile. Before, I'd always believed that to be merely a figure of speech.
'And lest you wonder, Mr. Aleche says these are the two men you're looking for. He seems to be under the impression that I know what's going on and that I am somehow your partner in this enterprise.'
She held out her arm at a ninety-degree angle, inviting me to take it and lever myself to a sitting position. We grasped hands thumbs-over and, leaning hard into strong forearm and biceps, I pulled myself up.
'Mr. Aleche has also been kind enough to agree that by way of reparation he'll cover all medical expenses for your fellow officer and dispatcher. And he hopes you'll accept his apologies for his employees' misguided enthusiasm.'
It's over, then, is what most people would think. But, even as she helped me up, I saw that she knew better, saw her clearly: the stance, feet planted squarely, center of gravity kept low, eyes taking it all in even as they appeared not to.
'You're a cop.'
'That obvious, huh?' Again the smile. 'I'm also your daughter.' She held out a hand. 'J.T. Burke.'
Lots of scatlike noise and harrumphing from Sam Hamill back at the station, words to the effect that here was another fine mess I'd gotten him and MPD into, one shouldn't lie down with dogs, and it would be best if I were out of town by sundown.
'No sign of Judd Kurtz, huh?' Tracy Caulding asked. She'd stayed behind for her own counsel once Sam was done with me, then followed me out to the parking lot.
'Doubt there will be. Hope it didn't go too bad for you in there.'
'About as you'd expect. What the hell was I thinking, tuck in the corners, it better not come back to bite his butt. Then he said, 'You need any help with this-stitches show up in the works, anyone whosoever tries giving you grief-you call me, you hear?''
'Don't guess he added he'd be happy to have me back on the job any time?'
'I don't believe that came up. Take care, Turner.'
We surrendered J.T.'s rental Buick at a drop-off on Lamar, grabbing coffee to go at a Greek diner next door. The cups were shaped like Shriner's hats and, inexplicably, had rabbits on them. Not cuddly little bunnies, but huge kangaroo-thighed jackrabbits.
'Obviously they think a lot of you back at the station house,' J. T. said as we pulled into traffic.
'I'm a legend here on the frontier.'
'Must be nice.' She stared silently out the window. 'It all starts looking the same after a while, doesn't it? Same streets, same victims, same impossible stories and apologies.'
We passed a car with the hood up, driver leaning into it. As we came abreast, he hiked his middle over the rim and slid in further. It looked as though the car were swallowing him piecemeal.
'If that's what you're looking for, an apology, I don't have one.'
'Good. I've had enough of those, plenty to last me. And I'm not looking for anything-well, I was looking for you. But I found you, didn't I? So now I'm not.'
'And how, exactly, did that come about, the finding me?'
'I talked to some people in town, learned about the cabin, and went out there. There was a woman sitting on the porch.'
'Val.'
'I'd figured just to look around, maybe wait till you showed up. But I introduced myself, told her who I was, and we got to talking. She told me what's been going on, and that you were up here. I was waiting to turn in at the motel when I saw the Jeep pulling out.'
'So you followed. Keeping well back, from the look of it.'
She shrugged. 'Old habit. Check exits before you go in, try to figure what's going down before you step in it. Like that.'
'Cop thinking.'
'You know how it is. Kind of takes over after a while.'
Later, after one last stop in the city, well out of it and coming abreast of a long line of tarpaper shacks bordered by a service station and a church whose white paint had long ago gone to glory, we'd pick up the conversation. J. T.'s head turned to read the sign that told us we were entering the town of Sweetwater.
'So this is the South.'
'Part of it, anyway. Disappointed?'
'Not really, just trying to get the lay of the land. Disappointment requires expectations. Like people have these scripts running in their heads about how life is supposed to go?'
'And you don't?'
'Mostly, no.'
'Just take things as they come.'
'I try.' After a moment she added: 'Seems to have worked for you.'
We rode on past Sweetwater, through Magnolia and Rice-town, into mile after mile of cotton and soybean fields, plumes of dust on far horizons where pickups and farm machinery stalked the land.
'How's your mom?'
'Speaking of expectations.' She laughed. 'Somewhere in Mexico, last I heard. One of those gringo artist enclaves. That was over a year ago.'
'She's an artist now?'
'I think she applied for the Grande Dame position. I'm sure they needed one, whether they knew it or not. Actually, she's mellowed.'
'Some of us do. Others just wear down… And your brother?'
An ancient, battered lime green Volkswagen bus with lace curtains in the windows came up behind. Pointing to the VW's bumper sticker, J. T. said, 'Kind of like that.' GOD WAS MY CO-PILOT BUT WE CRASHED IN THE MOUNTAINS AND I HAD TO EAT HIM
When I looked at her, she said, 'You don't know, do you?'
I shook my head.
'Don died last year. Had a little more fun than he planned one Saturday night, got deeper than he thought, and flew off forever on his magic carpet of crack.' Her eyes came to mine. 'I'm sorry, I don't mean to be crude. Or cruel.'
'It's okay.'
Problems had lay coiled up beside Don in the crib from the day of his birth. Even then he wore a tense, fretful frown, as though he knew bad things were coming, as though he knew he had to be constantly on guard-though it probably wouldn't help much. Everything was a challenge, even the simple routines of daily life, getting up, getting dressed, leaving the apartment, shopping, a succession of near-insurmountable Everests. When things were going well, he managed to kind of plod along. But things didn't go well very often, or for very long. Choosing between breakfast cereals paralyzed him. On the phone, back when he used to call, he'd talk for hours about all these plans he had, never manage to carry through on the first half-step of any of them.
'I thought you knew. I'm sorry.'
'Don't be. It's not as though we couldn't see it coming. The surprising thing is that he held out as long as he did. Were the two of you close?'
'Not for a long time. I tried. I'd go over to wherever he was crashing and check on him, try to be sure he ate something, got some rest.'
'But you can't…'
'No,' she said. 'You can't. Like you said: we wear down. Or wear out.'
CHAPTER TEN
