Chapter Thirteen
Drina closed the bathroom door behind her with a kick of her heel, set the bags of soap, tomato juice, and vinegar on the bathroom counter, and then turned to the tub, only to pause with a frown. Was she supposed to just pour all this stuff in the tub, or was she supposed to add water or what? She hadn’t a clue. She needed the instructions.
Clucking with irritation, Drina turned back to the door, annoyed with herself because she was about to ruin a damned fine exit by having to scurry back and beg for the instructions. Muttering under her breath, she pulled the door open and found Harper there, hand upraised as if he’d been about to knock.
Smiling crookedly, he lowered the knocking hand and raised the other, revealing the instructions.
“Thank you,” Drina breathed, taking the sheet of paper with a relief that was not proportional to the moment. She knew then that her exhaustion was definitely making her overemotional. She’d sat on that stool all night, nodding off a time or two from sheer exhaustion, but only for a second each time before her swaying body had brought her abruptly back awake.
“Do you want some help?” Harper asked quickly when she started to close the door.
Drina paused in surprise, and then smiled wryly at his pained expression and shook her head. “Thank you for offering. It’s very sweet, but I know I smell like the worst backed-up drainage system ever and wouldn’t even inflict this on Anders.”
“I came prepared,” he said quickly, bringing her to a halt again. This time the door was almost closed, and she had to pull it back open. When she peered at him quizzically, Harper opened the hand he’d had fisted to knock, revealing a clothespin resting in his palm.
Drina released a startled laugh and shook her head. “You-”
Her words caught in her throat when he suddenly covered her mouth with his. Lifting it a moment later, Harper said gently, “I believe the expression is for better or worse. Besides, in a few minutes, it will be all better and no worse.”
She chuckled at the way he wiggled one eyebrow lasciviously and backed into the bathroom to let him in. “All right. You can read the instructions to me.”
Drina handed him back the instructions after a quick glance at the first one. She then moved to the tub to put in the stopper.
“Take off the clothes you’re wearing,” Harper read out as she straightened. He then caught the back of her sheet and whipped it away.
Drina gasped, and then turned to prop her fists on her naked hips and give him a feigned scowl. “I read the first instructions. It said take off the clothes you were wearing
“True, but you can’t bathe in the sheet anyway, so I thought I’d be helpful,” he said, his eyes appreciating her pose and nakedness.
Drina snorted at the claim, and then grinned with amusement when he glanced around, closed the toilet seat, and sat on it, then attached the clothespin to his nose, pinching it closed, as he considered the instructions again.
“Fill a tub with water and get in,” he read, his voice now nasal.
Chuckling, she turned back to the tub and turned the taps on full. Drina then glanced over her shoulder to catch him eyeing her derriere in a manner that probably wouldn’t go under the listing of “helpful.” Shaking her head, she asked, “What do I put in first? The tomato juice or-?”
“Neither,” he interrupted, managing to tear his gaze from her derriere and back to the sheet. “It says to wash first with just soap and water, that sometimes if you only got a light spray, it’s enough.”
“My spraying wasn’t light,” she said dryly. It had been a nice hard steady stream. The little beast had probably been saving up all winter to douse someone. Lucky her for being the recipient. “And Teddy said a bath wouldn’t help by itself, or I would have done it last night.”
“I’m just reading the instructions,” he said with an apologetic shrug.
“Right,” Drina muttered. The tub was only half-full, but she stepped into it and sat down anyway. While the water continued to run, she picked up the bar of soap on the side of the tub, dunked it in the water, and began to lather it up and apply it to herself.
Harper said something she couldn’t hear over the sound of the rushing water. Busy lathering her chest and neck, Drina simply lifted one foot out of the water and used her toes to turn off the tap before turning to him to ask, “What was that?”
He was staring rather blankly at the taps.
“Harper?” she asked with a frown.
“You turned it off with your toes,” he muttered.
“Yes,” Drina said, and tilted her head uncertainly. She’d done it automatically and hadn’t realized it was odd, but his expression was. . well, she wasn’t sure what his expression was. His eyes were wide though, and he was now staring at her feet at the end of the tub with a sort of fascination.
“What talented little feet you have,” he murmured finally, his gaze shifting back to her face. “What else can you do with them?”
Drina opened her mouth, closed it, and then narrowed her eyes. “Are you having another one of your perverted little fantasies like the maid apron and boots?”
“Uh-huh.” Harper nodded, his eyes sliding over her naked breasts above the water.
Drina chuckled and turned to begin soaping herself again, saying nonchalantly, “I can do all sorts of things with my toes and feet.”
Harper released a little sigh and set the instruction sheet on the side of the sink, then slid to his knees beside the tub and reached for the soap. “Let me help soap you up.”
“No way.” She laughed, holding the soap out of his reach. “Back on the toilet, mister. You can help later, when I smell better.”
He sighed but did as instructed and simply watched silently as she soaped every inch of her skin, and then rinsed it away.
“I haven’t been able to smell for hours now,” Drina said on a sigh as she sniffed at her arm. “But I don’t think it worked.”
Harper caught her hand and pulled it to his nose for a sniff, then bit his lip and shook his head.
“Right,” she muttered, pulling the plug on the water and standing up as the tub began to drain. “So what’s the next step?”
“Wash with carbolic soap,” he read, and stood to search the bags on the counter for the item in question.
Drina glanced impatiently down at the half-drained water, and reached to turn on the shower. It didn’t make sense to wash the smell away and then sit in the smelly water full of stuff you just soaped off. She would shower this time.
“No fair,” Harper complained when she pulled the tub’s shower curtain closed after taking the soap he handed her.
Drina chuckled but simply continued with her plan, standing outside the spray of water to thoroughly soap herself up, and then moving under it to rinse herself.
“Now?” she asked a few moments later, jerking the curtain open enough to stick her hand out for inspection.
He sniffed and then shook his head apologetically. “Better, but. .”
Drina sighed and turned off the shower. “Next?”
“Fill a bucket with equal parts water and vinegar and use a rag to wash yourself with the mixture. Scrub hard, but not to the point of pain,” Harper read, and then glanced around with a frown. “We don’t have a bucket.”
“Look under the sink,” she suggested.
He opened one of the cupboard doors and made a sound of triumph. “A cleaning bucket.”
“Good enough,” Drina decided, stepping out of the tub and using the ruined sheet to dry herself while Harper
