at a guess Aleksandr supposed that this was his first time. Aleksandr broke the silence.
– I know somewhere we can go.
The young man looked around once more and then nodded, saying nothing. Aleksandr continued:
– Follow me, keep at a distance.
They walked separately. Aleksandr took the lead, getting a couple of hundred paces ahead. He checked. The other man was still following.
Arriving back at the train station, he checked his parents weren’t at the window of their apartment. Unseen, he entered the main station building, as though he were about to catch a train. Without turning on the lights he unlocked the ticket office, going inside and leaving the door open. He pushed the chair aside. There wasn’t much space but there was enough. He waited, checking his watch, wondering why the man was taking so long, before remembering that he walked fast. Finally, he heard someone enter the station. The door to the ticket booth was pushed opened. The man stepped inside and the two of them looked at each other properly for the first time. Aleksandr stepped forward to shut the door. The sound of the lock excited him. It meant they were safe. They were almost touching and yet not quite, neither of them sure who should make the first move. Aleksandr liked this moment and he waited for as long as he could bear it before leaning forward to kiss him.
Someone was hammering on the door. Aleksandr’s first thought was that it must be his father-he must have seen, he must have known all along. But then he realized it wasn’t coming from outside. It was this man, hammering on the door, calling out. Had he changed his mind? Who was he speaking to? Aleksandr was confused. He could hear voices outside the office. The man was no longer meek and nervous. A transformation had occurred. He was angry, disgusted. He spat in Aleksandr’s face. The glob of phlegm hung on his cheek. Aleksandr wiped it away. Without thinking, without understanding what was happening, he punched the man, knocking him to the floor.
The door handle rattled. Outside a voice called:
– Aleksandr, this is General Nesterov, the man you’re with is a militia officer. I’m ordering you to open the door. Either you obey or I call your parents and bring them down here to watch as I arrest you. Your father’s ill, isn’t he? It would kill him to discover your crime.
He was right-it would kill his father. Hurrying, Aleksandr tried to open the door but the office was so small that the man’s slumped body was blocking the way. He had to drag him to the side before he could unlock and open the door. As soon as the door was open hands reached in, grabbing him, pulling him out of the office onto the concourse.
Leo looked at Aleksandr, the first person he’d encountered after getting off the train from Moscow, the man who’d fetched him a cigarette, the man who’d helped search the woods. There was nothing he could to do to help him.
Nesterov peered into the ticket office, staring down at his officer, still dazed on the floor, embarrassed by the fact that he’d been overpowered.
– Get him out of there.
Two officers went in and helped the injured officer to a car outside. Seeing what he’d done to one of his men, Nesterov’s deputy cracked a blow across Aleksandr’s face. Before he could hit him again Nesterov intervened.
– That’s enough.
He circled the suspect, weighing up his words.
– I’m disappointed to catch you doing this. I would never have thought it of you.
Aleksandr spat blood on the floor but he didn’t reply. Nesterov continued.
– Tell me why.
– Why? I don’t know why.
– You’ve committed a very serious crime. A judge would give you five years minimum and he wouldn’t care how many times you said you were sorry.
– I haven’t said sorry.
– Brave, Aleksandr, but would you be so brave if everyone found out? You’d be humiliated, disgraced. Even after serving your five years in prison you wouldn’t be able to live or work here. You’d lose everything.
Leo stepped forward.
– Just ask him.
– There is a way to avoid this shame. We need a list of every man in this town who has sex with other men, men who have sex with younger men, men who have sex with boys. You will help us create this list.
– I don’t know any others. This is my first time…
– If you choose not to help us we’ll arrest you, put you on trial and invite your parents to court. Are they getting ready for bed right now? I could send one of my men to find out, bring them down.
– No.
– Work for us and maybe we won’t need to mention anything to your parents. Work for us and maybe you won’t need to go to trial. Maybe this disgrace can stay a secret.
– What is this about?
– The murder of a young boy. You’ll be doing a public service and making amends for your crime. Will you make this list?
Aleksandr touched the blood running out of his mouth.
– What will happen to the men on the list?
29 March
Leo sat on the edge of his bed contemplating how his attempt to re-launch an investigation had instead precipitated a city-wide pogrom. Over the past week the militia had rounded up one hundred and fifty homosexuals. Today alone Leo had arrested six men, bringing his count to twenty. Some had been taken from their place of work, escorted out in handcuffs while their colleagues watched. Others had been taken from their homes, their apartments, taken from their families-their wives pleading, convinced that there must be some mistake, unable to comprehend the charges.
Nesterov had reason to be pleased. Quite by chance he’d found a second undesirable: a suspect he could call murderer without upsetting the social theory. Murder was an aberration. These men were an aberration. It was a perfect fit. He’d been able to announce that they were now instigating the largest murder hunt ever launched by the Voualsk militia, a claim that would’ve cost him his career if he hadn’t been targeting such an unacceptable subgroup. Short of space, offices had been converted into makeshift holding cells and interrogation rooms. Even with these improvised measures it had been necessary to lock several men in each cell with guards given clear instructions that the men needed to be watched at all times. The cause for concern had been the possibility of spontaneous incidents of sexual deviancy. No one quite knew what they were dealing with. But they were certain that were such sexual activities to take place within the militia headquarters they would undermine the establishment. It would be an affront to the principles of justice. In addition to this high level of scrutiny every officer had been timetabled to work twelve-hour shifts, with suspects questioned constantly, twenty-four hours a day. Leo had been obliged to ask the same questions again and again, picking through answers for even the smallest variation. He’d carried out this task like a dull automaton, convinced even before they’d made a single arrest that these men were innocent.
Aleksandr’s list had been trawled through name by name. On producing the list he’d explained that he could create it not because he’d been promiscuous, at least not to the extent of having sexual encounters with a hundred or so men. In fact, many of the names on the list were people he’d never even met. His information came from conversations with the ten or so that he’d had sex with. Each man recounted liaisons with different men so that, added together, it was possible to draw a sexual constellation with each man knowing his place in relation to each other. Leo had listened to this explanation, a hidden world opening up, a hermetically sealed existence constructed within society at large. The integrity of the seals was critical. Aleksandr had described how men on the list met by chance in routine situations, standing in a food line buying bread, eating at the same table in a factory canteen. In these everyday surroundings casual conversation was forbidden, a glance was the most that was allowed and even that needed to be disguised. These were rules that had come about not by agreement or decree, no one needed to be told them, they arose out of self-preservation.
As soon as the first wave of arrests had begun, news of a purge must have spread throughout their ranks. The secret meeting places-no longer a secret-were abandoned. But this desperate counter-measure had been to no avail. There was the list. The seals around the world had broken. Nesterov didn’t need to catch anyone in a sexually
