Same Day
Leo had been given his own cell – not out of kindness, more likely they feared that as an older man he would be at risk of tuberculosis and might not survive until the trial if thr had beto one of the communal cells. At regular intervals the grate in the door slid open and an officer checked that Leo hadn’t tried to kill himself. Since his arrival he’d slept for no more than thirty minutes. As the days progressed he’d almost given up on sleep altogether, pacing backwards and forwards – four steps by two steps were the dimensions of his cell – his thoughts revolving around the prospect that he might never see his daughters again.
The cell lights were turned on. Leo was surprised. He received no visitors at night. The door opened. A man in his mid-forties entered accompanied by a guard. Leo didn’t recognize him although it was obvious from his smart suit and shoes that he was important, a politician perhaps. He seemed nervous, despite his trappings of power. He would not hold eye contact with Leo for longer than a second. They did not close the door, the guard remaining close by the man’s side. It was only at this point that Leo noticed the guard was ready with a truncheon, to protect the visitor.
Plucking up the courage to look Leo directly in the eye, he said:
– Do you know me?
Leo shook his head.
– If I told you my name it would mean nothing to you. However, if I told you the name that I used to go by…
Leo waited for the man to continue.
– I used to be known by the name of Mikael Ivanov.
Leo’s first thought was to step forward and crush Ivanov’s throat, assessing the likelihood of success considering his own age and physical condition. Dismissing his instinctive reaction, he managed to control his anger. He had not achieved the one thing he wanted – a visit from his daughters. Whatever blunt satisfaction might come from killing Ivanov, it would guarantee that he would be executed without having seen Zoya and Elena. Apparently relieved that he’d not been attacked, Ivanov pointed out:
– I was forced to change my name.
Leo spoke for the first time.
– A hardship, I’m sure.
Ivanov was irritated with himself.
– I’m trying to explain why you couldn’t find me. Frol Panin advised me to change my identity. He was sure you’d come looking for me, no matter how many years went by. You did. That was why I had to pretend – To be dead?
– Yes.
– Panin was wise. It saved your life.
– Leo Demidov, do you believe a person can change?
Leo considered Ivanov carefully, sensing genuine remorse and wondering if it was a trick – another form of punishment. Modulating his tone from outright hostility to deep scepticism, he replied:
– What do you want?
– I didn’t come to apologize. I know how meaningless that gesture would be. Please do not think me vain or boastful when I say that I have become a man of considerable influence and power.
– That does not surprise me.
Leo regretted the insult, which was childish and petty. But Ivanov accepted it.
– It had been decided that you would not be given permission to see your daughters. It was seen as the only punishment that would hurt you. You would not hear from them, see them, or talk to them.
Leo felt weak, unsteady. Ivanov hastily qualified his remark.
– I cannot intervene in your trial. However, I have been able to petition for Zoya and Elena to be granted permission to visit you. I have succeeded. They will arrive tomorrow.
The shift from despair to elation was too much. Exhausted from a lack of sleep Leo sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, breathing deeply. Ivanov added:
– In exchange I ask only one thing. Do not tell Elena that I arranged it. Please do not mention me at all. It will ruin it for her.
It took Leo a moment to recover. His voice was weak, the anger and indignation was gone.
– You could have arranged this without telling me?
Ivanov nodded.
– I could have done.
Ivanov turned around, about to leave. Leo called out:
– Why?
Ivanov hesitated, taking out a photograph and showing it to Leo, his fingers trembling. It was a photograph of Mikael Ivanov seated beside his wife. She was pretty rather than beautiful with generous eyes and open features. Leo asked:
– You told her what you were doing?
– Yes.
– Did you tell her why?
– She thinks it’s a random act of kindness, an expression of my good nature.
After studying the couple’s expressions for a moment, Leo returned his gaze to the floor. Ivanov slipped the photograph back in his pocket, adding:
– In her eyes I’m a good man. That’s as close as I can expect to actually being one.
Next Day
Once again Leo sat in the interrogation cell with his arms and legs in restraints waiting for his daughters. Once again several hours had passed with no answer from the guards, no clue as to what was happening. He glanced at the pipe in the corner of the ceiling. The thirty-third drop of water was forming at the rusted joint. Almost six hours had passed. Was it possible that Ivanov had lied to him? No, the remorse he’d seen in his face had been real and impossible to feign. But he might have been manipulated by more important men, lied to and falsely assured that he could deliver the good news only so that the traitor would suffer even more today when they did not arrive. Hope and despair were the torture instruments in play: the authorities switching between the two with such expert cruelty that Leo struggled to breathe as he imagined the future. He would remain here in ignorance, tormented by broken promises. He would never know if his daughters wanted to visit. He would never know if it was their decision to stay away Not knowing would break him and it would break him long before the trial reached its inevitable conclusion. As the thirty-third drop of water fell Leo could no longer fight back his frustrations and he leaned forward, bowing down before his torturers, sinking his head to the table.
Some time later, the cell door opened. Leo didn’t sit up. He didn’t look. If he allowed himself to picture his daughters at the door when they were not there, he might not be able to survive the disappointment. He could feel his heart weakening with the pressure of the past week. However, he could not suppress a faint hope and he listened carefully. He could only hear one set of footsteps – heavy boots – it was the KGB officer. Leo closed his eyes, grinding his teeth in expectation of those awful words: Not today.
But the guard said nothing. After a moment Leo opened his eyes, scared by the flutter in his chest. He listened again, hearing the unmistakable sound of someone crying.
Leo sat up sharply. His daughters were at the door. Elena was crying, Zoya was holding her sister’s hand. Both of them were beautiful in their different ways, both of them were scared. Leo froze, unable to speak or smile. He would not allow himself to feel happiness until he was sure this was not a dream, or a deception conjured by his sleep-deprived mind. Perhaps he was delirious, imagining his daughters when in fact he was still lying on the table. His mind had played games with him before. He had seen a vision of Raisa in the Afghan cave. She’d been a comforting illusion, one that had dissolved and disappeared when tears formed in his eyes.
Leo stood up, his steel restraints rattling. His daughters stepped into the cell, walking slowly towards him.
