Ask the Parrot

“I saw you, that’s all.” Now he did speak to Parker: “How’d you get in there?”

“Walked.”

He didn’t like that. “Don’t get snotty with me, fella.”

“I told this guy,” Parker said with a gesture at Bill, “I fell asleep, I woke up, I’m trying to get out of here. Everything’s locked.”

“Except the safe room,” said Bill. “How d’ya like that?”

“I don’t,” the second one said, and to Parker he said, “You got anybody with you?”

“I didn’t see anybody,” Bill said.

“When I sleep in the men’s room,” Parker said, “I sleep alone.”

The second one was getting steamed. He glared at Parker a long minute, then said, “I may have to tenderize you.”

“We’d better call the troopers,” Bill said.

“We’ll get to that,” his partner said. Still glaring at Parker, he pointed at the top of his desk and said, “Empty your pockets.”

“Sure.” Parker took the automatic out of his pocket and showed it to them as he stepped to the left, so he could see them both. “Is this good enough?”

“God damn you—” The second one was red-faced now and angrier than ever. He moved as though to come around the desk.

“Max! Jesus, Max, fourteen months, remember?”

That stopped Max, or at least slowed him down. “What a hell of a thing you brought me,” he said.

Parker said, “On the floor, both of you, over there. Facedown.”

Neither moved. Max said, “There’s two of us.”

“There could be none of you. You go on the floor without a bullet in you, or you go on the floor with a bullet in you. Now.”

“Fourteen months, Max,” Bill said, and, stiffly lowered himself to the floor, having trouble getting down, and then having more trouble rolling onto his stomach.

Max watched him, tense, not wanting the humiliation in front of this armed stranger, but finally realized there was no choice. He tried to be more graceful getting down, but failed, and finally lost his balance and landed on his bottom with a thump. Quickly, then, he scrambled around to lie prone, turning his face away.

Parker said, “Where do you keep the cuffs?”

“Fuck you,” Max told the carpet.

Parker said, “I may have to tenderize you, friend.”

Bill said, “They’re in the desk with the flowerpot on it, bottom side drawer.”

Parker found them and tossed them onto the floor between the two guards. “Bill, you put them on Max.”

Max was muttering, “Goddammit, goddammit, goddammit,” but he stopped when he sensed Bill getting up onto his knees. They all waited to see what Bill would do, which for a few seconds was nothing.

Parker said, “That’s far enough up, Bill. Do it.”

Bill was sheepish. “Sorry, Max,” he said as he clipped the cuffs onto the other man’s wrists, behind his back.

“How do we let him do this, goddammit?”

“He’s got the gun, Max.”

“So do we!”

“His is in his hand.”

“Facedown, Bill,” Parker said, and quickly cuffed him, then placed two chairs between the men’s legs, to keep them from rolling over or moving around. With a last look at all the empty corridors and rooms on the monitor screens, he headed fast for the elevator.

3

Lindahl sat on the duffel bags, both of them full. The money trays were scattered around the open boxes, still full of small bills and coins. Lindahl seemed to be thinking hard, and it took him a second to realize Parker had come back. Then, startled, he jumped to his feet and said, “Is it me now?”

Parker looked at him. “Is what you?”

“I knew that guy,” Lindahl said. “I recognized the voice. He worked here forever. His name’s Bill.”

“That’s right.”

“Big man. I’ve been trying to remember his last name.”

Parker said, “You filled the bags. That’s good.”

Looking down at them, Lindahl said, “I tried to make it as even as I could, between them. If it matters.”