status took an interest in lowly bunglers such as themselves and threw them outrageous ideas to chew on.
'And what's so elevated about the commissaris's status, Adjutant?' the sergeant would ask and Grijpstra wouldn't have much ofan answer because he couldn't ever quite define why he admired his chief. The man's indifference? Or was there a better word? The man's curiosity? His willingness to probe taboos?
Adjutant and sergeant pursued the subject in the police headquarters' parking lot. The old watchman, in the city's uniform, sitting straight up on a stool, was enjoying the sun while listening in.
'He don't worry much,' the old watchman had said, pointing his grizzled head at the commissaris limping across to his privately owned ten-year-old dented CitroSn convertible. 'State would buy him one ofthem fancy limousines like the other bigwigs drive but he don't care to spend taxpayers? money on fancy new models.'
The watchman, a constable now out of the force because of multiple shot wounds in both thighs, badly healed, didn't worry much himself, but he was always around, mathematically fitting the maximum number of cars into a fairly small space, always with freeway for emergency vehicles, giving them godspeed with his crooked smile as he held up traffic outside the gates as they flashed off, sirens screaming.
'Maybe that's it,' Grijpstra said as he watched the former constable cheerfully swinging his crippled body about. 'Not to worry while giving it all you can?'
De Gier smiled obediently. 'Ah…'
'Not good enough, Sergeant?'
'Oh yes,' de Gier had said. 'Now tell me, Adjutant, what's this it we're supposed to give all to?'
'It ain't there,' the former constable said. 'If it was I couldn't serve it, right?'
Grijpstra made de Gier row him and two gray garbage bags filled with empty beer cans, candy bar wrappers, and other shiny garbage he had collected in Jameson earlier to Jeremy Island that night. Together they arranged the objects on a beach that would be visible from Bar Island.
'Can't have seen us,' de Gier said. 'It's too hazy for one thing, but I checked the weather report and the fog will burn off later today and the night will be clear. For another thing, Aki is working through the evening at the diner. If you're right, Lorraine will be hiding underground.' De Gier laughed. 'The trap is sprung, Henk.'
'Good,' Grijpstra said, surveying their work. 'Sun rises in the east. East is over there. The first rays will light up the bait nicely. Subject of our search will see the mess. She, accompanied by Aki or not accompanied by Aki-that doesn't matter, we're not after Aki-will rush out and clean up. We grab subject. We solve our case.'
'This must be too simple,' de Gier said.
'I know,' Grijpstra said. 'I know I shouldn't discuss strategy with suspect…'
'Suspect may be crazy too…'
'… with possibly psychopathic suspect…'
De Gier's flashed smile was pleasing.
'.. but what else have we got?'
Grijpstra sat on a rock, embracing his knees. The gigantic luminous disk of a full moon was rising behind Squid Island, filling the sky with an eerie light that made firs and pines look like black fairy-tale cutouts. The momentarily tideless sea lapped the island gently. There was no wind and the peaceful whispering and rustling sounds behind them had to be made by animal life, equally impressed with the enchantment displayed all around. A loon, floating just off Jeremy Island, chuckled, and set off a choir of coyotes on the peninsula's point nearby. A soprano coyote yipped a few times and mezzo-sopranos set up rising howls for background. The mezzos warbled while the soprano sang. The chant rose for a while, faltered suddenly, then the sounds tapered off. A little tremulous yapping again… a long drawn-out musical sigh… the loon's chuckle.
Grijpstra applauded silently.
'Never heard coyotes this close.' De Gier had found an egg-shaped boulder of his own to sit on. 'They don't dare usually. Maybe they can sense we won't harm them. The sheriff and Billy Boy just love to shoot them.'
'For the skins?'
'They fly coyote tails off their cars' antennas.'
'Infrared scopes. Super rifles. Our brother sportsmen.' Grijpstra growled. 'I'd rather have them hunt us.' He grinned. 'Then turn on them.'
'Defend the little bit of nature left,' de Gier said. 'I would like that too. The commissaris is right. The noble final venture. Exterminate the exterminators… Henk?'
'Yes?'
'How can Lorraine pick up beer cans if I saw her corpse?'
'But you don't really believe that,' Grijpstra said. 'I'm here to prove the opposite. That's why you summoned me.'
'No…'
'Okay,' Grijpstra said. 'Here's the other reason you summoned me-your emotional development was impeded, as you know…'
De Gier gaped. He raised his voice. 'I know what?'
Grijpstra nodded. 'The emotionally impeded need plenty of attention. Say I prove you did indeed kill Lorraine. Off you go, rowing into the horizon, in the two-thousand-dollar dinghy. Like the good hermit. Never to be seen again. And I'll be waving from the shore. Me, your alter ego, an essential segment of your final scene.'
De Gier grinned. 'Yes, Doctor Shrinkski.'
Grijpstra grinned too.
De Gier's smile was ghoulish white in the moonlight.
Grijpstra shifted about on his rock. 'The emotionally impeded live and die to impress the audience. But help is on the way-there's no need for you to emulate hermit Jeremy yet.'
De Gier relaxed. 'Just answer the question, Henk. How can Lorraine, dead, clean up this beach here?'
'Okay,' Grijpstra said. 'Why do I know that Lorraine is alive? Kathy Two is a smart dog. Smart enough to save my life. Smart enough to stay sane while living with the crazy little skippers. Explain this: Kathy Two keeps visiting Bar Island to bark at Lorraine's cabin, inviting her to come out and play.'
'You told me that,' de Gier said. 'So where is Lorraine? Hidden and locked up by Flash and Bad George? Who's been feeding her all week?'
'Ever thought of tunnels?' Grijpstra asked.
'Tunnels,' de Gier said. 'Fascinating. You're supposed to get sucked into them after you have a heart attack. Then you come back and tell the folks back home what death is all about. We have Lorraine crawling back out of astral tunnels now?'
'Regular tunnels,' Grijpstra said. 'Tunnels of greed. Didn't you see that poster in the window at Perkins* Sports Store? Old-fashioned men in waistcoats leaning on then-spades in front of a large shed with SILVER MINE written on the roof?'
'Wasn't that just another sham? Some rumor started to drive up the price of real estate?'
'The men in the waistcoats didn't know that yet. They dug lots of tunnels.' Grijpstra patted his boulder. 'Right here, these very islands, Jeremy, Squid, and Bar. All three of them have been tunneled for silver. I asked Beth. She showed me her family album. Her uncles got duped too. They borrowed money, bought the islands, went bankrupt, sold out.'
'Flash and Bad George are feeding a chained-up Lorraine in an island tunnel?'
'Why assume willful constraint?' Grijpstra asked. 'Why would she be kept there against her will?'
'She's cooperating?' de Gier asked. 'She's out to get me? But we were having an affair, Henk…'
'Did you humiliate Lorraine in any way?' Grijpstra asked.
De Gier jumped offhis rock. He raised his voice. 'We were having a good time together.'
'Aha,' Grijpstra said. 'Overreacting, are we? Did you, or did you not, put your loved one down in any way? Answer the question, suspect.'
The lone coyote raised her voice too, howling sadly.
'Lorraine is a feminist,' de Gier said, after the howl died down. 'It's hard to share a good time with someone who keeps talking about Women and Earth, leaving no place for us suckers.'
'No,' Grijpstra said. 'I've had that out with Nellie. Feminists believe in equality between sexes. You always do your superior thing, just for laughs, because you're not supposed to these days. That's not funny now. It aggravates the other party. Half of mankind, kept barefoot and pregnant in kitchens.'
'Just kidding,' de Gier said.
