He was a splendid-looking young man whose eyes-now that he was not drunk as when I had last seen him- were large and limpid. Happiness and interest brought color into his dark face. His nose was as noble as the beak of a bird of prey, his teeth gleamed like the teeth of a wild beast, and he laughed with pleasure at the sight of me. I handed him a letter from Princess Baketamon, forged by Eie, and stretched forth my hands at knee level before him with every mark of veneration, as though he were already my sovereign. I was greatly diverted to note that before receiving me he had arrayed himself in the Egyptian manner and now found himself embarrassed by these garments, to which he was unaccustomed.
He said to me, “Since my future consort has confided in you and you are physician to the household, I will conceal nothing from you. When a prince marries, he is bound to his partner. My consort’s country shall be my country, Egypt’s customs my customs. I have striven as far as may be to adopt them already, that I may not come as a stranger to Thebes. I am impatient to see the wonders of Egypt of which so much has been told me and to become acquainted with its mighty gods, which henceforth shall be my gods also. But most eager am I to see my royal consort, for by her will I found a new ruling race in Egypt. Tell me about her, therefore. Tell me of her size and her figure and of the breadth of her loins as if I were already an Egyptian. Do not conceal any flaw in her from me, but trust me like a brother, as I trust you.”
His trust was shown in a group of officers who stood behind him with drawn swords and in the soldiers who guarded the tent door with spears directed at my back. But I feigned to notice nothing of this.
Bowing to the ground before him, I said, “My royal lady, Princess Baketamon, is one of the fairest women in Egypt. Because of her sacred blood she has preserved her virginity although she is some years older than yourself. Her beauty is timeless, her face is like the moon, and her eyes like lotus flowers. As a physician I can assure you that her loins are fit for childbearing although narrow, like those of all Egyptian women. She has sent me to meet you, to satisfy herself that your royal blood is worthy of hers and that you can fulfill the bodily requirements of a husband without causing her any disappointment. She awaits you with impatience, having never in her life been possessed by a man.”
Prince Shubattu threw out his chest and raised his elbows to shoulder level to display the muscles of his arms, and he said, “My arms can draw the strongest bow, and with the grip of my knees I can squeeze the breath from an ass. There is no fault to be found with my face, as you may see, and I cannot remember when I was last ill.”
I said to him, “You are indeed an inexperienced youth and ignorant of the customs of Egypt if you think that an Egyptian princess is a bow to be drawn or a donkey to be gripped between the knees. This is far from being the case, and it is clear that I must give you a few lectures in the Egyptian arts of love, that you may not cover yourself with ignominy in the eyes of the Princess. She was indeed well advised to send me hither so that as a physician I may initiate you into the customs of Egypt.”
My words sorely wounded Prince Shubattu, for he was a high- mettled boy and like all Hittites was proud of his virility. His officers burst out laughing, and this still further incensed him. He whitened in fury and ground his teeth. But to me he sought to maintain the suave Egyptian manner, and he said as composedly as he could, “I am no such inexperienced boy as you seem to think, and my spear has pierced many a fair skin! I do not think that your Princess will be ill content with the arts of the land of Hatti.”
I answered, “I readily believe in your strength, my ruler, but you must have been mistaken when you said you could not remember when last you were ill. I am a physician and can see by your eyes and your cheeks that you are sick now and are troubled by a flux.”
There is no human being who does not end by believing he is sick when assured long and constantly that he is so. At heart everyone feels the desire to be pampered and tended. Doctors in every age have been aware of this, and the knowledge has made them rich. I had the further advantage of knowing that the desert springs contained lye which loosens the bowels of those who are not seasoned to it.
Prince Shubattu was astonished at my words and cried, “You are certainly mistaken, Sinuhe the Egyptian. I feel in no way ill, although I must admit that I have a flux and have had continually to squat by the roadside in the course of my journey. But how you know this I cannot think. You must certainly be more skilled than my own physician, who has taken no note whatever of my disorder.”
He listened to himself, and feeling his eyes and brow he said, “In truth I do feel a burning in my eyes after staring all day at the red sand of the desert. My forehead also is hot, and I am not as well as I could wish.”
I said to him, “It would be well for your physician to give you a medicine to ease your stomach and give you a good sleep. The stomach disorders of the desert are severe, and I know that a number of Egyptians died of them on their march to Syria. No one knows the origin of these complaints. Some say that they are born of the poisonous desert winds; some blame the water, and others the locusts. I do not doubt that tomorrow you will be well again and able to continue your journey if your physician will mix you a good draught this evening.”
He began to ponder at this. His eyes narrowed, and glancing at his chiefs, he said to me, smiling like a mischievous boy, “Do you mix me such a potion, Sinuhe. Without doubt you are more familiar with these strange desert diseases than my own attendant.”
But I was no such fool. I raised my hands in protest and said, “Far be it from me! I dare not prepare any such remedy for you. Should you become worse, you would blame me and say that as an Egyptian I wished you ill. Your own physician will tend you as well as I, and better. He is familiar with your constitution and your former disorders. He need do no more than give you a simple binding medicine.”
He smiled and said, “Perhaps your counsel is good. I mean to eat and drink with you, that you may tell me of my royal consort and of Egyptian customs, and I do not desire to be forever running out and squatting behind the tent during your account.”
He summoned his own physician, who was an irritable and suspicious Hittite, and we took professional counsel together. When he found that I had no desire to compete with him, he conceived a liking for me and did as I advised. He prepared a binding medicine of exceptional strength, which I had my own reason for prescribing. When it was ready, he drank from the cup before handing it to the Prince.
I knew that the Prince was not sick, but I desired his suite to believe that he was. I desired also to bind his stomach, that the draught I proposed to administer might not pass through him overrapidly. Before the meal he had ordered in my honor I went to my tent and drank my stomach full of oil-despite the nausea it caused me-so as to preserve my own life. I then took a small jar of wine with which I had mixed the poison. This jar, which I had resealed, held enough for two cups only. I returned to the prince’s tent with it, sat on his mat, and ate the dishes his slaves set before me, and drank the wine his stewards poured into our cups. Despite severe nausea I related lurid stories of Egyptian customs to divert the Prince and his followers.
Prince Shubattu laughed with flashing teeth; he slapped me on the back and said, “You are an entertaining fellow, Sinuhe, Egyptian though you be, and when I have settled in Egypt I will make you my physician. Truly I choke with laughter and forget my disorder when you tell of Egyptian marriage practices, although I fancy the Egyptians have adopted them only to avoid the begetting of children. I mean to teach Egypt many Hittite practices, and I will make my officers regional governors-which I think will be most beneficial to Egypt-so soon as I have given the Princess her due.”
He smote his knees, and being by now somewhat exalted with the wine, he laughed and said, “In truth I could wish the Princess already lay on my mat, for your tales have greatly inflamed me, Sinuhe, and I know I shall cause her to groan in her ecstasy. By the holy heavens and the Earth Mother! When the land of Hatti and Egypt are united, no kingdom on earth will be able to withstand our power, and we shall gather under our sway the four corners of the world. But Egypt must first be imbued with iron and fire until every man there believes that death is better than life. All this shall come about, and soon!”
He raised his goblet and drank, and he poured libations to the Earth Mother and to the heavens until his cup was empty. By now all the Hittites were somewhat fuddled, and my merry tales had melted their misgivings.
I profited by the occasion and said, “I would not insult you or your wine, Shubattu, but it is plain that you have never tasted the wine of Egypt. Had you tasted it, all other wine would seem to you as insipid as water. Forgive me, therefore, if I drink of my own wine, for that alone can make me drunk, which is the reason I always take it with me to the banquets of strangers.”
I shook my wine jar and broke the seal before his eyes, and in feigned drunkenness I poured the wine into my cup so that it slopped on the ground. I drank and exclaimed, “Ah, this is the wine of Memphis-pyramid wine paid for in gold-strong, sweet, and heady-unparalleled in all the world!”
The wine was indeed strong and good, and I had mixed myrrh with it so that the whole tent was perfumed
