Shape of Snakes

'I was lying.'

Sam lowered himself gingerly onto an unopened box of wine. 'I thought this was all over a long time ago. I thought you'd forgotten about it.'

'No.'

'Jesus,' he muttered, dropping his head into his hands and lapsing into a long silence. He roused himself finally. 'Have you ever loved me?' he asked bitterly.

I wanted to tell him it was a childish question, that if he didn't know the answer after twenty-four years then nothing I could say would make a difference. Did he think anyone could live indefinitely with someone they didn't love? Could he? But outside on the terrace Tom's boom box roared into sudden life, causing the walls and floors of the old farmhouse to thump in sympathy, and I was spared the necessity of replying.

I went into the bathroom to change and left my rucksack on the bed for Sam to explore. It was a cowardly way to impart information but I didn't feel badly about it. As the old adage has it-you reap what you sow-and Sam's harvest was well overdue.

E-mail from Mrs. Julia Charles, formerly next-door

neighbor to the Ranelaghs at 3 Graham Road,

Richmond-now living in Toronto, Canada-dated 1999

M. R.

From: Julia Charles ([email protected])

Sent: 11 February 1999 18:50

To: M. Ranelagh

Subject: The Slater children!

You won't believe the trouble we've had just to locate one of the Slater children! Not the one you wanted, I fear-being the youngest (Danny)-but he may be the most amenable to persuading his mother to answer your letters! I won't bore you with full details of the swings and roundabouts-suffice it to say that Jennifer's preschool chum at number 6 (Linda Barry) kept in touch with another preschool chum (Amy Trent) who was at art school with Danny and still keeps in touch with him. We really did bust a gut to find Alan but got nowhere, I'm afraid. Word has it that he married six or seven years ago and is living somewhere in Isleworth, but I don't know how accurate that is. It might be worth trying international directory inquiries to see if there's an A. Slater in that area, but it's a common name and you may come up with several.

Anyway, Danny Slater is living somewhere in Brixton (no address or phone number) and teaching graphic design at a college there. The name and address of the college is: Freetown Community Center, Brixton, London. However, the really good news is that he has an e-mail [email protected] collects his messages regularly via an Internet cafe near Waterloo station. Jennifer's game to make the contact if Luke and Tom don't want to, but it would speed things up, I think, if you approach him direct. NB: Your idea to say it's an IT project using e-mail and Internet only is a good one and worked well with Linda and Amy.

So glad to hear Sam's on the mend. I know what a shock it must have been for you!

Speak soon, love Julia

Part of the e-mail correspondence between Luke

Ranelagh and Danny Slater during the first six months of 1999

DANNY SLATER

From: Luke Ranelagh ([email protected])

Sent: 22 February 1999 15:12

To: Danny Slater

Subject: Babes in bikinis

How about these? Mine's the blond babe on the right. Word pictures of Graham Road will do if you don't have access to a scanner. I'm an ex-pat, for Christ's sake! I have an aesthetic appreciation of all things English. Cheers. Luke.

LUKE RANELAGH

From: Danny Slater ([email protected])

Sent: 20 February 1999 20:50

To: Luke Ranelagh

Subject: IT Project-Database: Graham Road

Listen, mate, anyone who wants to build a database 'round a black hole like Graham Road needs his head examining. Okay, so you're on the other side of the world and you don't know shit about the UK. It's an excuse of sorts-and I guess I can accept it on that basis-but do me a favor and send me some pictures of babes in bikinis. I'm an artist, for Christ's sake! I have an aesthetic appreciation of beautiful women. Word pictures will do if you don't have access to a scanner. The truth is I am DESPERATE to forget I ever lived in Graham f*****g Road. If you'd met my mother you'd understand! Cheers. Danny.

Extracts from an educational psychologist's report on

Alan Slater, 32 Graham Road, Richmond. Requested

by his head teacher-re: permanent exclusion from

school-dated April 1979

...Alan' shows a pattern of bullying behavior. He employs his strength to intimidate others through unprovoked violence, and uses abusive language toward children of different ethnic groups. He has a history of discipline problems and reacts aggressively toward teachers who attempt to control him-particularly the females ... His academic performance across all subjects is poor and this has resulted in feelings of inadequacy and low self- esteem. He regards himself as isolated from his peer group and becomes enraged by seemingly minor slights. He feels rejected by family, peers and teachers, and seeks further rejection through disruptive behavior in order to