sense of decency left within you?” He sat down with an “oomph” to pull on his boots. “Sneaking in on a man… taking liberties… got me drunk…” He slammed down his foot to settle his boot firmer. “God damn it, Caroline! God damn it to hell! I feel violated! Of all the imbecilic, asinine stunts you have pulled, this is by far the worst.” He slammed down his second boot to settle it. “How dare you do this to me! I gather that Charles and Jane are miles from here, and that I have been a dimwitted ass.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Well, you are never an ass, Darcy.”
He shook his head in disgust.
“I did say, ‘Surprise.’ And I am not insane, as you say, or an idiot. I know what I want and shall not be denied.”
“Bah! If you are not insane or an idiot, I recommend you not breed. Madness could be hereditary!”
“Darcy, do grow up!” She slapped the bed, sounding exasperated. “We are both adults, and there is no one who would know. Surely you must remember that the regent’s court is quite sophisticated. No one thinks twice about this sort of thing.” She pouted at his wrath. “Oh, you used to be much more fun.”
“I am married, you idiot! Your brother is one of my dearest friends! His wife is my sister-in-law! Gad, I cannot believe even you would do this, Caroline,” he huffed, trying to clear his head but feeling nearly as drunk as when he had retired. “Besides, our one brief moment together was over ten years ago, and I have moved on with my life, matured. What in the world would make you think I was even remotely interested in you? I really wasn’t much interested back then, and believe me, madam, I am even less interested now.”
She pursed her lips, vastly annoyed at his comments. “If you would only but notice I am in even better looks than I was when we were younger. Don’t tell me you have lost all interest in sex since you married that country frump?” She sat upright in the bed, leaning back on her hands, thrusting her body into a seductive pose. “Or has she completely turned you away from the sport?”
She finally really looked at him, noticed his stance, his facial expression. Everything revealed his sincere disgust of her, and she began a slow rage.
“You’re like a bitch in heat, Caroline, and I don’t mean that in a Carlton House good way either. Truthfully, the only thing I do see from here,
It was still the middle of the night, however, dark and starless, and he was still drunk. He made his way as far as the Longbourn barns, where he collapsed into a mound of hay, falling fast asleep, his preferred companion to a scheming redhead being the old mama cat who curled herself up at his back. He slept as an innocent, deeply and gratefully, having escaped “the Viper’s” clutches once again.
Unfortunately, however, he had not remembered to retrieve Lizzy’s locket from his nightstand.
Darcy’s return to Rosings late the following afternoon was greeted with much excitement by his wife, relieved that the visit had been so much shorter than expected. She explained that the baby had missed him and that she was no longer comfortable sleeping alone, especially in that large, cold bed. They retired to their rooms soon afterward, and she watched as he removed his dusty riding clothes, curiously encrusted with hay, and as he handed his baggage to his valet to unpack. While he loosened his neck cloth, a hot bath was being prepared for him, and he slumped back on the settee, his arm snug around her waist.
“Did you see Bingley?” she asked.
“No, he wasn’t there at all,” he replied truthfully, omitting the fact that Caroline had been.
“I didn’t think he would be. You know that letter from Jane I failed to open? It appears they are vacationing for the month. Why ever did he ask you to meet him at Netherfield, then?”
He mumbled something and then kissed her forehead, telling her that his errand had been for nothing. “Just a miscommunication,” he muttered into her ear. She quickly forgot it, happy he was safely home with her again.
“The big discussion at the moment,” Lizzy informed him, “is Lady Catherine’s sponsoring of Georgiana for her presentation at court! We have been up all night, talking.” Her enthusiasm was infectious, and Darcy was soon laughing and marveling at her energy.
“We have even been pressing Fitzwilliam into rehearsing his services as escort, practicing the delicate art of train maneuvering.”
“Is he any good?” Darcy shook his head in laughter.
“He nearly decapitated her, insists he cannot possibly be expected to work with tablecloth. We might need the real thing on which he can practice. Something in silk may be easier for him to handle.”
“I wish I could share your excitement about this, but I am dreading her entrance into society. I won’t have my baby sister anymore.”
Lizzy smiled her understanding. He was such a very good man, and he looked so boyish with that wistful, half smile on his face. “She will always be your little sister, my love; you both will always be there for each other. But it is time she was allowed to spread her wings. We cannot delay this any longer.”
Just then Georgiana knocked softly on their door. “Might I enter?” The quality of her voice seemed suddenly very grand and sophisticated to her brother’s ears.
“You see”—Darcy’s eyes looked cheerless—“she’s already speaking as if she’s a forty-year-old duchess.”
Lizzy giggled and patted his cheek lovingly. “Enter, Your Grace,” she called out.
The door was flung open to reveal Georgiana with her nose high in the air. She was wearing her childish flannel nightgown, the bosom of which was heavily padded beneath the material, giving her an overweight, matronly appearance. A tiara of dead flowers sat upon her head, and a tablecloth was tied around her neck, resembling a long white train. Epaulets from one of Fitzwilliam’s old uniforms dangled from her ears. Lastly, her feet were encased in old socks, and she held Darcy’s walking stick in her hand as if it were a scepter. She glided regally into the room, ruining the effect completely by bumping into a chair and rubbing her knee for a moment before standing up straight.
“You will now address me as the Grand High Exalted and Honorable Lady Georgiana Catherine Darcy, spinster, if you so please.” She raised a quizzing glass of their late uncle Louis’s to her eye to observe Darcy and Elizabeth. They all burst into laughter.
“Well, perhaps I have nothing to worry about just yet.”
The following week, Darcy left with Mr. Bennet early in the morning, returning his father-in-law to Longbourn. Although Mr. Bennet had been horrified at the prospect of meeting Lady Catherine, going so far as to publicly bemoan his fate at being away from his books and projects for so long a time, it was with some degree of sadness that he left her company and Rosings Park. He shivered a bit at the thought of his empty house.
Darcy turned a concerned glace at him across the carriage. “Are you chilled, sir? We can stop for more hot bricks at the next station.”
“No, William, I am quite warm. I was only thinking of Lady Catherine.”
Darcy’s momentary surprise turned to amusement. He nodded at his father-in-law. “She has had the same effect on many a younger and heartier person than yourself, sir.”
Mr. Bennet smiled. “She certainly is a force to be reckoned with, is she not?” He turned his gaze out the carriage window, his mind drifting back in time for a moment. “You know that she was generally regarded to be
Darcy smiled at the thought of Lady Catherine as a flirtatious young girl or as a beauty driving youthful Corinthians to distraction. “I am afraid that I can only think of her as my beloved aunt or as a well-coifed battering ram, depending upon her mood.”
